Outcome: "Win"
Record: 40-1
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Hell yeah. I worked all day in Baltimore, learning quickly on the spot. I'm into the company and the work they do. I came back and wrote for two hours. Tomorrow I'll put in my last hour of writing for the week. Starting next week my writing schedule is going to be different because of the program, but I'm not sure how exactly.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 39-1
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I rebounded nicely today. I controlled my emotions very well, especially considering the circumstances, I worked, by the end of the night I will have taken care of some administrative things like setting up the printer and paying bills, but the big thing was putting in my first shift in Baltimore. I think this might be a great thing.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 38-1
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: *update* wow, this sucks, but I need to preserve the integrity of the system. Like I said, I needed to be strong tonight and I wasn't. I could have approached the personal thing that's going on better. I could have had much better control of my emotions. I could have done a much better job cleaning up. Talking with Dan was nice, but I didn't get off the phone when I needed to. Then I shot some balls on the pool table and read Philly magazine without observing the rules from HTRAB. Basically I was like the Eagles tonight. I scraped out a win, and then I just let it slip away into a stupid loss that shouldn't have been. Admittedly, today was extremely tough, but I need to do better. I know I can do better, and I will do better.
Today was the toughest day of my current streak. In fact, it would take very little for me to change it to a loss. The rest of the night must be dead on. But still, even with what I've done, I'm quite proud of myself.
The reason that it was hard was because of some personal shit that's going on. I wanted to say fuck it more than ever today, but I stayed strong in every aspect. I worked hard at work, wrote for an hour, advanced my French to the point where I'm sure I'll finish comfortably tomorrow, and I spent an hour on "b". To make my situation worse, I made a mistake on "b", compounding my emotional turmoil, plus I think I'm getting sick, I didn't sleep well last night, and there was something that had been clear in "b" that became unclear. But I think I made it through this one.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 38-0
Streak: 38

Summary: I took a barista class tonight, so maybe I could work at your coffee shop Dan. Espresso pulled correctly is a beautiful thing. I saved up an hour of time, put in an hour on the novel, did some stuff for "b", including a lengthy phone conversation, and took my barista class. I've felt meloncholy all day, but I perservered by force of will. That's a good thing. Maybe when the stoic, peaceful monk state of mind isn't happening, your only option left is to switch to warrior mode (power through everything).
I've been reading this book called The Artist's Way, which was recommended to me by the St. John's tutor I talked to a few weeks ago. It's a 12 or 15 week program (I can't remember which), with specific time requirements and tasks to complete. I'm fully committing myself to it. I haven't sat down and adjusted my schedule to accomodate it, but there's a good chance that my novel writing will be suspended (since the program is ultimately in service of the novel). That's not to say that I won't write at all. Maybe I'll continue putting in 6-10 hours a week, or maybe I'll cut down, or a third possibility would be that I have zero time to work on it. It's ok though, because I have patience, and in time it'll all happen. I'm just making it even better by doing the course.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 37-0
Streak: 37

Summary: Hell yeah--I feel very good about today. I would have given it a 5 under the old system. Executed masterfully on the details, got my first big break on "b", which is some contract work in Baltimore, made a call, wrote an e-mail, set up an appointment with an advisor at the community college to talk about classes I might take to prepare for the program at Penn, wrote for an hour, voted, made a great push on French, and tonight I'll do some cleaning/admin and read for at least an hour.
The herbal tea is working, no doubt. I love it. Also, I think I need to eat a little more at lunch, since I've been feeling hungry around 4, and if I stay at work until 6, I can either suffer or eat something from work that isn't very healthy. I don't need much more, just a bit more.
There was one excellent thing that I did today, which I hope to repeat in the future. I worked when it was time to work, and when, for example, I started worrying about "b", or freaking out about writing, I told myself that the time for those things would come around, and at that time I can address my concerns. In the meantime, just calm down and work; don't think about anything else. Obviously, I did the same thing when it was time to focus on "b" or time to write. This is just one more way of trusting my reason and controlling my emotions. It's satisfying for me to visualize something like the ancient Greek fates at their spinning wheel, to picture someone or something else moving a great wheel of time, and all I have to do is sit back and relax, because I know I'm getting my portion. I literally don't have to do shit. If I plan an hour for writing and an hour for "b", I am guaranteed those hours, so I need not worry when I'm not working on them--the time will come.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 36-0
Streak: 36

Summary: Nice start on French, hour and a half surplus of time at work, and organized my materials plus wrote an email for "b".
I made an adjustment to my daily schedule (making sure it was done rationally and calmly, ahead of time, a la my last post). So, I have a 1/2 hour for lunch at work. My old schedule was to eat and read some periodicals about Philly (Philly mag or Inquirer) for the first 15 minutes, and then do my french for the second 15 minutes. I decided this was too harsh. There a varieties of particular circumstances that made this stressful, all of which are too boring to get into here (if I could adequately convey them in the first place). So starting today my new schedule is to eat and relax for 15 minutes, even to meditate (breathe deeply and clear my mind), and then hit the French for 15 minutes. I could tell that I was more relaxed and productive as a result of my schedule adjustment. The other thing that made me want to do it was thinking about Saturday night--after I read analytically, in accordance with the rules from HTRAB, I burned out in an hour and a half. Now I'll read Philly mag or the Inquirer if I need a rest, that way I'm still keeping up to date and enjoying those sources of information, but I'm doing it in a non-stressful, in fact, rejuvinating fashion.
I also had the herbal tea for the first time. I think it worked, but its effects were subtle. I'll keep with it for a while.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 35-0
Streak: 35

Summary: Chilled, talked with Ben, made breakfast, watched Eva's soccer game, cleaned up, watched part of the movie Indochine, and after this I'm going to make my lunches for next week and eat dinner.

End of Week Summary: Another solid effort. I'm doing well with work, "b", and writing. Actually, I could push a bit harder with writing, but it's still completely satisfactory. How did I do with my goal from last week, about being more calm and efficient with my energy? I did well. I could do better. That's how it goes, but I'm still fighting, and as long as I don't give up, I'll get there. I picked up some herbal stress relieving tea from Whole Foods yesterday, and I'm going to start making myself a cup as soon as I get home. I have two specific goals for next week.
1. Continue working on my mental composure. Not much to say about this.
2. Here's a new one: be more rigid about obeying myself and only changing my policies and plans as a result of careful reasoning. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. I made a policy not to look at ESPN crap, because it's a waste of time. Instead, I committed to using that time for reading to understand (to use the phrase from HTRAB). Last night I practiced analytical reading from HTRAB for a while, but it was immensely taxing on my mental endurance. My head was throbbing! It was dumb to continue reading in the same fashion, so I just let myself fuck around online, including looking at ESPN. My quick rationale was that I had read as much as I could, and since I needed a break, and Saturday nights are for recharging anyway, it was cool if I just had a casual fuck-around session on the internet. Regardless of whether my impulse was sound, it wasn't done in a serious, rational way. My emotions were doing the talking and of course they're going to come up with some way to justify whatever they want to do. I need to be rigid with myself--if a part of myself wants to do one thing that I have forbidden, I need to make an appeal to my rational mind, to have the rule amended or revoked. After a serious session of contemplation, I can change my mind, but only if there's good reason. I can't just let my desire take the reigns and do what it wants. If it goes too far, of course I'd give myself an automatic loss. I don't think what I did last night warrants a loss, but I want to be more strict with myself in the future.