Outcome: "Win"
Record: 70-4
Streak: Won 6

Summary: Normal stuff..weight in same as Monday

All right, I want to raise the ante here--bring up the intensity. From now on, starting after I post, only an effort worthy of a 5 will result in a win. Here are some specific things that must happen: I must follow my policies 100% throughout the day, both the major and minor ones. So if I get into bed a minute late, automatic loss. I must follow my schedule 100%. I must make a schedule to begin with, otherwise, automatic loss. And as always, I can change things, both long-term on the policy level, but also momentarily to make exceptions and adjustments, but it must be done as a rational, calm contemplation. If I change something or momentarily take exception to something with only a half-thought out reason, or an emotionally driven one, automatic loss. I need to hold myself to the highest standards.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 69-4
Streak: Won 5

Summary: normal stuff, 1/2 hour on GRE, 173.5 at weigh in, should get some time on AW exercises later tonight.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 68-4
Streak: Won 4

Summary: New policy--blog entries can only take a maximum of 5 minutes. Normal day. MPs, work, French, weigh in was 177.3, 1/2 hour of AW, sent some business e-mails.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 67-4
Streak: Won 3

Summary: I came "out the box" with fury! Really though, today was day 1 of my dual mind approach (calm like a monk until that fails and then I whip myself into the character of a furious demon). I wrote some glorious morning pages, enjoyed my breakfast, rode to work with great intensity, burned tons of calories at work, got a start on this week's French, picked up a GRE study book, looked at that for 45 minutes, bought a beautiful new notebook, did Artist's Way exercises for 45 minutes, ate a lovely dinner topped off by a delicious, flowerless chocolate cake, talked to my mom on the phone, ran some errands, took care of some mail, did some holiday shopping, and paid some bills.
A couple things. 1: I decided that I need to have rigorous, objective evaluations of my progress whenever possible. For my weight loss goal, I'm going to weigh myself every day at the same time and record the result. Today was 175.7. I started at over 200, so I've done well in the last few months. 2: I'm switching to a note-book system. My apologies to my computer-savvy virtue seeking friends, I hate electronics and computers. They fucking blow. I'm going to sell my PDA. My whole system is now organized by two notebooks, the Big Book and the Small Book. I'm not going to get into nuts and bolts, but it's working very nicely so far. 3: I've been legislating firm policies for myself. Today I added a new one--"During the first 15 minutes of my 30 minute break at work, I must relax and eat without spending that time on any other tasks." Often I'll give myself some small task to be done in that time, or I'll read the Inquirer on-line. These are both virtuous tasks, but I need time to rest, collect my thoughts, breathe, eat, and get ready to kick ass on French and then get back to work.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 66-4
Streak: Won 2

Summary: I did my morning pages, watched the Eagles game (GO EAGLES!), paid my credit card bill, put some systems in place that should take care of our mouse problem, picked up ice cream for Eva, did a parkour climb on the wall next to my front door each time I went in and out, wrote my check to keep the Gross Clinic in Philadelphia, prepared my lunches for next week, and read my Artist's Way lesson for next week. This week there's a short exercise to be completed each night before going to bed, so those will be accomplished starting tonight.

Week in Review: This was a weird, tough week. I tweaked my system and refreshed it in my mind, so that should give me a boost. I think I need to get tougher fundamentally. It's great when I can approach my days with happiness and a good attitude. But sometimes I just can't. And when I can't, what do I fall back on? I need to become like a demon, just attacking my shit, putting my head down and plowing through. I need intensity, hate even, if that allows me to stick to my schedules. This needs to happen, and again, I'd prefer if it could happen easily, happily, and with a constant serenity, but in the moments when the options are raging demon or saying fuck it and giving up, and I'm going to go with the raging demon.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 65-4
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I got back in it today, after refreshing and tweaking my system. I took care of some admin, did French, made my budget, legislated some policies for myself, wrote down strategies that I've found helpful in conquering my less virtuous aspects, and I cleaned.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 64-4
Streak: Lost 2

Summary: I voluntarily took a loss today so that I could rest and review my system. I'm still in the middle of it, but I think this will be beneficial in the long run.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 64-3
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: I totally ran out of gas today. I don't think I gave myself enough breaks early in the week. I'm going to sit down and look at some things, to use Andy Reid language. Two things in particular are stressing me out, namely not having a formal set of "laws" and not having my budget set down on paper.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 64-2
Streak: Won 8

Summary: Oops, I guess I added one to the loss column as well as the win column last night. Today was the normal stuff. I went to yoga again, which is nice, but more of a straight workout than a stretch. One of the tutor's at St. John's asked me some question once when I didn't want to do something. The question went something like, "Is it (your not wanting to do it) because of the task itself, or because of your resistance to it?" It almost seems like a silly thing to say. But in the years since then, I think about it sometimes, and I think the implied idea, which is that your arbitrary resistance to a thing makes it difficult and not the thing itself, is a profound and enabling idea.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 63-3
Streak: Won 7

Summary: Nice job on the straight 1s Dan. Hell yeah. And hell yeah Eagles. Fuck the Giant Eagles, but the regular Eagles are awesome. I overcame some adversity to do my morning pages, biked and worked with vigor, studied French for 15 minutes, did some AW exercises for 45 minutes, and now I'm off to the Envirocenter meeting.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 62-2
Streak: Won 6

Summary: I came out strong from the gate today. My morning pages were good, my preparations for work were done efficiently and thoroughly, I worked hard at work, I got a great start on my French, I sent something off for "b", prepared for a big green architecture meeting in Maryland that takes place tomorrow night, and after this I'm going to eat, make my lunch, read the AW book for 45 minutes, and watch the Eagles.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 61-2
Streak: Won 5

Summary: Got a haircut, did my shopping, made my lunches for next week. Exercised moderation and good ethics in general.

Week in review: This week was tough...too tough. I'm thinking it's because I lost my momentum by going up to Philly. It's hard when you come to accept a less-than-ideal situation, and then suddenly find yourself in paradise only to be yanked back to your former situation days later. Now I'm anxious, and everything seems to be moving too slow. I can overcome it though, and I persevered during some difficult moments. One thing I've noticed is that I have cultivated a pretty strong fall-back energy source, meaning, even after I've hit the point where I'm totally against doing something, I'm antsy, uncomfortable, and being pulled in some other direction by my emotions and impulses, I've been able to turn that off, get serious and hardcore for a second, and sit down and do what I have to do. That's fucking excellent. I would love to keep building that.
Next week I want to be more clear and conscious in my actions. I want things to be crisp. I want to know what my plan is, act in accordance with it, and remember that I acted in accordance with it. I have been doing this to a certain extent, otherwise I wouldn't have given myself the wins, but I need to do it better.
Next week I will do lesson 12 in French, lesson 4 in AW, get a GRE book and start studying for that, go to the envirocenter meeting on Tuesday, do some other stuff for "b", start applying my budget, eat healthfully (hopefully lose a bit more weight), and take care of a host of admin shit.

Outcome for 12/2: "Win"
Record: 60-2
Streak: Won 4

Summary: Hell yeah--I had to fight so hard not to engage in amusements that would divert my attention, and I think I won. I still have about an hour and a half to go, but I think my white horse won the battle tonight. Below I've posted my summary for yesterday as well as my monthly review. Tonight I finished my French, worked on something for "b", and later I plan to do some exercises from AW. Not only was I productive, but I overcame the urge to eat out.

Outcome for 12/1: "Win"
Record: 59-2
Streak: Won 3

Summary: I couldn't get my internet working last night, so I decided it would have been too inconvenient to post. Now it's working again (I have no idea what happened), and first I'm going to do a post for yesterday, and then later tonight I'll do one for today.
Yesterday I worked and then picked up Josh, and we hung out for the rest of the night. Yesterday was basically a break day, which means I will do some work on Sunday. I still did my French. My eating habits are getting a bit too lax, I think. Between Thanksgiving holiday and Josh coming down, I've been indulging more than I should. I also need to stop biting the skin on the tips of my fingers. It's unhygenic and it makes my fingers look gross.

Monthly Summary:
Three major things happened this month: I started my internship in Baltimore, I began the program in Artist's Way, and I was reminded of some important values that I had been neglecting. Signing up for classes also initiated what will end up becoming a significant movement.
The program in Artist's Way seems great, and after this week I will be 25% done. It seems highly likely to me that I will write more and write better as a result of the program. That was the gamble that I took by taking 12 weeks off from my novel. But already it seems like it will pay-off. I should finish the course at the beginning of February. At that point, even if I write at my old rate I will finish a good draft by the beginning of April, but I expect to accelerate that schedule.
"b" is progressing nicely. My classes are set up, I know what I need to do to get into Penn, and the internship has been a great boost. Sometime this spring I will take the GRE and soon I'll start putting together my application for the summer studio at Harvard. This coming week I'll be attending the monthly meeting for the local green building community.
Overall I was happy with this month. It was shitty that my first two losses occured, and unforunately I would say it was slightly less virtuous than October, but only slightly. I need to get a little more intense this month. This points toward my goal in December: I want to clearly establish my personal guidlines and policies. One aspect of this will be coming up with a new budget, which is now necessary because Eva made her finances independent. This will happen very soon, if not today or tomorrow. Another way I will accomplish my aformentioned goal is to literally legislate for myself, like write down a list of policies. I already sort of do this in my head, and I stick to it surprisingly well. I just need to codify it in writing, make it more external, less subject to my emotions. I also need to constantly remind myself of what I'm doing and why it's important. This meditation isn't hard.
I lost more weight this month. I'm down to somewhere in the mid 170s. I'm hoping the last week hasn't screwed things up too bad. I'm going to keep going with my current program since it seems to be working.
So basically, let's keep posting guys, and striving to be our best. Dan, you need to have a perfect day--you're coming so close! I'm trying not to have a single loss this month. It's feasible; in fact, I did it in October.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 58-2
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Since break, my wins have been tougher than before break. I have to fight with myself more. Maybe I built momentum, and in fact, it was this hard back when I first started my current 60 day run, and the only reason it's hard now is because I need to regain my momentum. Who knows. I did my morning pages very well (finished in a 1/2 hour without rushing!), worked, did my French (made an extra effort to absorb information), spent a solid hour on "b", cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom, and after this I'm going on my assigned artist's date for the week.
It works better when I "get into" a task--basically that means that I forget about everything else, psychologically allow myself some time, and loose myself. Also, and I've said this before, aesthetics can be a hinderance to doing well. It's not important whether my life looks a way that strikes me as virtuous, as if I were watching it on tape, it just matters if it is virtuous, even if that means violating principles conceived a-priori. A-priori principles; aesthetics--very important, but they must be handled responsibily, otherwise they just make you a fool. I contemplated some values today that I need to keep reminding myself of (Eva helps with some of those). Hopefully tomorrow can be a "clean" win.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 57-2
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I came back strong today. I was able to get into a great state of mind during my morning pages, my "toilette" was efficient and even invigorating, I kicked ass at work in the morning, made myself a nice cappuccino, did my French, went over to AACC and got into their system and registered for my two architecture classes in the spring, came back finished up at work, then I went to yoga for an hour, which was great, and after this I'm going to take care of some admin and put in my 45 minutes of AW. Yesterday, even though I had a loss, I still accomplished some important shit. Eva opened her own bank account, so now I have complete control over the budgeting of my money. Within the week I will come up with a frugal budget for myself.
Yoga was refreshing and now I feel relaxed and peaceful. I would like to go again in the future.
My goal right now is to put together a 100-win streak. It's a lot, but I think I can do it.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 56-2
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: Already I'm calling this one a loss. Last night I barely achieved a "win". Up until when I posted, I was right on the line. Let's say the cutoff was "80%" or something--I was 80%. Then I said I would need to be on-point for the rest of the night. Let's say the cutoff for "on-point" was "90%"--I was 90%. So basically leading into today, I was technically willing to give myself the win, but without the satisfaction of it being definitive, or strong. Then this morning I just acted like an asshole. I lost my serenity, I overindulged in some food, and I only did 2/3rds of my morning pages. I'm pissed at myself. I need to get back into my good schedule. I'm not giving up for today, and I'll still try to do something good, but this one is going down as a loss.

Outcome: "Win, pending"
Record: 56-1
Streak: Won 18

Summary: Pending because I need to execute with discipline for the remainder of the night. It was rough getting back into my routine. It really makes me sad to leave Philadelphia. I'll be there soon.
I got back to eating healthy, getting up early, doing my morning pages (not that I didn't do them on break because I did), French for 15 minutes, accumulating about an hour and 45 minutes overtime, doing grocery shopping, and now I want to put in 45 minutes on AW and take care of some administrative crap. This sucks man, seriously, it's so depressing going back to this. I just read Williams Penn's prayer for Philadelphia, which I believe I've read before on a plaque on city hall. Good stuff. I'm going to do everything I can in my lifetime to preserve and cultivate our city's virtues.

Outcome for Sat and Sun: "Win"
Record: 55-1
Streak: Won 17

Summary: Had fun.

Week in review: This will need to be short because I have to go to bed. Last week was good, and it set me up nicely for the immediate future, both in terms of confirming my values and also giving me a much needed rest. Next week I want to follow my will very near to perfect.