Regarding my progress for Friday:
My emotions frustrate my reason, but I would never wish to part with them. That doesn't mean that I don't wish to habituate myself to tend in various ways, Aristotle-style. I have a long, long way to go with my rigor. At least now I graduated to the next level.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
3 lessons in French, weight at 171.8, 50% of a chapter, nearly complete on my wall/roof section, started preparing my list for model supplies, and assorted admin. I found out I have a 100% in one class and above 100% in the other.
I've observed a behavior in myself that I need to correct. I subconsciously pace myself so that I will finish exactly at the deadline. This sounds good, but it's not. The reason that's it's not good is that there are almost always unexpected challenges or things that take more time than anticipated. For example, if I plan to finish a drawing and build a model in one night, and I have from 5-10 to do it, and it's not quite 7 and I'm almost done my drawing, I'll slow down a little bit because I feel like I'm ahead and I can relax. Well, it's not quite that exactly, it's almost like an aesthetic thing, like I want to time my completion perfectly. Anyway, I slow down, and then the model ends up taking twice as long as I thought and I have to stay up late.
The solution is just to go for the jugular. I should come out of the gate with intensity, and knock that shit out just as fast as I can. Don't stop, don't hold back. This is what the Eagles needed to do more of early in the 06 season. They would do awesome and then kind of lose that urgency. And we saw what happened with that. I need to, as Brian Dawkins said, "fly to the rock, and hit cats in the mouth".
I've observed a behavior in myself that I need to correct. I subconsciously pace myself so that I will finish exactly at the deadline. This sounds good, but it's not. The reason that's it's not good is that there are almost always unexpected challenges or things that take more time than anticipated. For example, if I plan to finish a drawing and build a model in one night, and I have from 5-10 to do it, and it's not quite 7 and I'm almost done my drawing, I'll slow down a little bit because I feel like I'm ahead and I can relax. Well, it's not quite that exactly, it's almost like an aesthetic thing, like I want to time my completion perfectly. Anyway, I slow down, and then the model ends up taking twice as long as I thought and I have to stay up late.
The solution is just to go for the jugular. I should come out of the gate with intensity, and knock that shit out just as fast as I can. Don't stop, don't hold back. This is what the Eagles needed to do more of early in the 06 season. They would do awesome and then kind of lose that urgency. And we saw what happened with that. I need to, as Brian Dawkins said, "fly to the rock, and hit cats in the mouth".
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I'd like to revamp my blog both visually and in terms of the tools of analysis presented in each post. For the latter I would like to implement a template like the one Dan had for various virtues, except I would cover a broader range of things. To Derek and Dan: would either of you be willing, and have the time, to program a template if I sent you mock-ups of what I wanted visually?
Finished about a full chapter this morning, one long lesson in French, and weighed in at 171.8. I could have been more vigorous writing this morning, but it was good. Oh yeah, and I worked on my summer studio application for about an hour. I'm trying to find a Plato quote that's been eluding me, which is annoying, but I started on my resume.
I'm short on time because it's a Wednesday.
Finished about a full chapter this morning, one long lesson in French, and weighed in at 171.8. I could have been more vigorous writing this morning, but it was good. Oh yeah, and I worked on my summer studio application for about an hour. I'm trying to find a Plato quote that's been eluding me, which is annoying, but I started on my resume.
I'm short on time because it's a Wednesday.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I'm still thinking about what type of rating/critique apparatus I want to use, if any. But regardless, starting tomorrow morning, if I post, I did my shit. That's the quantum leap. I'm not announcing completions, because that's the new minimum. Anything less, and I'm out of here, because I don't deserve to strive for greatness.
Monday, February 26, 2007
I'm going to implement a new system in the coming days. I want my blog time to simultaneously serve as truly productive self-reflection time, and in order for my time to be more self-reflective, I think my progress needs to be tracked in categories and in more concrete terms. I'm considering something like listing projects that are currently being worked on, their percentage completion, and the change in status for that day, kind of like a loading bar or something. Actually, let me step back for a second. I concluded that my striving falls into either the category of general moral behavior or productivity/achievement. Achievements would be tracked with the percentages. I don't know how I'm going to handle moral rating. Maybe a 1-x scale, or maybe a chart by virtue, like Dan used.
I finished watching My Architect for the second time, and it drives home the pathetic nature of my attempts up to now. Basically, I think we all need to make a quantum leap. Currently, the question is, "did you execute? Yes=good, No=Bad". Instead, we need to start asking, "is your execution optimal?" The question as to whether or not there was execution on any level is pathetic. That need not be a question; in other words, not doing something is simply not an option. Andy Reid can't turn to his staff, ask them to come up with free agency strategies, and then have them show up to their meeting without having completed the task. That's not even a fucking option. No one even wonders whether or not it will be completed. It will, but the question becomes, did you complete it as well as it could be completed within the given parameters? Same thing applies to any professional or serious setting. If you showed up to a review with Louis Kahn and you didn't finish...are you kidding me?
So for me, for example, I need to write. I shouldn't even post about that, because it should assumed. I need to complete my homework, as well as my French, and all my other projects. That should be assumed. The critique needs to shift to strategy and execution. The punishment for not programming because of comedy or something like that should be a lifetime sentence of being a fucking clerk or a programming monkey. One of my professors was telling me about someone who showed up to a review in grad school with only a partially completed project, and they gave him a quarter and told him to call his parents to let them know he wasn't going to be an architect and arrange for him to come home. That's the level that we aspire to, is it not? Do you think we're ever going to be Catos, or Kahns, or Ben Franklins by fucking around and wasting our relatively obligation-free days? No, that's a complete fucking joke. I don't think any of us even comprehend what it would be like to do the work that we're striving toward. I want to be better than Kahn, because I want to achieve that level of mastery, plus I want to be a good family man. So this is the quantum leap that needs to be happen before we can even talk about any kind of shit. I'm mentally bracing myself.
I finished watching My Architect for the second time, and it drives home the pathetic nature of my attempts up to now. Basically, I think we all need to make a quantum leap. Currently, the question is, "did you execute? Yes=good, No=Bad". Instead, we need to start asking, "is your execution optimal?" The question as to whether or not there was execution on any level is pathetic. That need not be a question; in other words, not doing something is simply not an option. Andy Reid can't turn to his staff, ask them to come up with free agency strategies, and then have them show up to their meeting without having completed the task. That's not even a fucking option. No one even wonders whether or not it will be completed. It will, but the question becomes, did you complete it as well as it could be completed within the given parameters? Same thing applies to any professional or serious setting. If you showed up to a review with Louis Kahn and you didn't finish...are you kidding me?
So for me, for example, I need to write. I shouldn't even post about that, because it should assumed. I need to complete my homework, as well as my French, and all my other projects. That should be assumed. The critique needs to shift to strategy and execution. The punishment for not programming because of comedy or something like that should be a lifetime sentence of being a fucking clerk or a programming monkey. One of my professors was telling me about someone who showed up to a review in grad school with only a partially completed project, and they gave him a quarter and told him to call his parents to let them know he wasn't going to be an architect and arrange for him to come home. That's the level that we aspire to, is it not? Do you think we're ever going to be Catos, or Kahns, or Ben Franklins by fucking around and wasting our relatively obligation-free days? No, that's a complete fucking joke. I don't think any of us even comprehend what it would be like to do the work that we're striving toward. I want to be better than Kahn, because I want to achieve that level of mastery, plus I want to be a good family man. So this is the quantum leap that needs to be happen before we can even talk about any kind of shit. I'm mentally bracing myself.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Outcome; "Win"
Record: 137-10
Streak: Won 19
Summary: Got up at 11:30, had pancakes, muffins, and coffee at a friend's house, read articles online, went for a walk in the snow, watched 400 Blows, read, made cheese fries and coconut stif-fry for dinner, and after this I'm going to drink hot chocolate and go to bed. It was a work-free and relaxation filled Sunday.
Week in Review: Bizarre things happened this week in terms of my energy levels. The only thing I can think of is that the car episode stressed me out, which led to me eating so-so in the middle of the week, which led to a slight but noticeable decline in energy, which freaked me out because I couldn't see why it was happening, which stressed me out more, which culminated in my near loss on Saturday. It's shitty because I feel like I'm on the cusp of being able to have an almost totally perfect week. I've achieved components off and on so far, and I don't see why I can't put them all together. Next week I'm primarily shooting for consistent excellence and pacing myself so that I'm still going strong from Wed-Sat.
Record: 137-10
Streak: Won 19
Summary: Got up at 11:30, had pancakes, muffins, and coffee at a friend's house, read articles online, went for a walk in the snow, watched 400 Blows, read, made cheese fries and coconut stif-fry for dinner, and after this I'm going to drink hot chocolate and go to bed. It was a work-free and relaxation filled Sunday.
Week in Review: Bizarre things happened this week in terms of my energy levels. The only thing I can think of is that the car episode stressed me out, which led to me eating so-so in the middle of the week, which led to a slight but noticeable decline in energy, which freaked me out because I couldn't see why it was happening, which stressed me out more, which culminated in my near loss on Saturday. It's shitty because I feel like I'm on the cusp of being able to have an almost totally perfect week. I've achieved components off and on so far, and I don't see why I can't put them all together. Next week I'm primarily shooting for consistent excellence and pacing myself so that I'm still going strong from Wed-Sat.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 136-10
Streak: Won 18
Summary: I slept in and tried to move at a leisurely pace this morning to recover my energy. Eva and I went and got cappuccinos, shopped for our groceries, and then I got down to business on my homework. I finished everything for Monday, and now I'm going to read until Eva gets back.
Record: 136-10
Streak: Won 18
Summary: I slept in and tried to move at a leisurely pace this morning to recover my energy. Eva and I went and got cappuccinos, shopped for our groceries, and then I got down to business on my homework. I finished everything for Monday, and now I'm going to read until Eva gets back.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Outcome: "Win" (changed from loss)
Record: 135-10
Streak: Won 17
Summary:
*UPDATE*
Fuck a loss--I just constructed a cube that is so awesome and precise, that I think even Louis Kahn would have been happy with it. Seriously, I prevailed, I feel like a champion, and this one victory was so sweet that it negated the rest of my floundering around for the day.
Old post:
I feel like shit for losing today, but I don't know what I could have done. It sounds weak, but I was so dead tired all day today, I didn't feel like doing anything. Some days I can make myself work even if I'm tired, but today I had no strength of will. Oh well, the 100 was a quixotic goal anyway. Maybe someday I'll get it.
Record: 135-10
Streak: Won 17
Summary:
*UPDATE*
Fuck a loss--I just constructed a cube that is so awesome and precise, that I think even Louis Kahn would have been happy with it. Seriously, I prevailed, I feel like a champion, and this one victory was so sweet that it negated the rest of my floundering around for the day.
Old post:
I feel like shit for losing today, but I don't know what I could have done. It sounds weak, but I was so dead tired all day today, I didn't feel like doing anything. Some days I can make myself work even if I'm tired, but today I had no strength of will. Oh well, the 100 was a quixotic goal anyway. Maybe someday I'll get it.
It seems to me that living well usually requires balance, but this isn't as simple as it sounds. Here are two examples that occurred to me:
1. This week I've been thinking about confidence. I tend to err on the side of being overly cautious, which at its extreme moments might really just be cowardice. Like if I'm building a model. I want every piece to be absolutely perfect, so I take a long time to draw each line, cut very slow with the blade, glue as carefully as I can, etc. I've actually found that if I'm too careful, or perhaps too timid, that can be just as harmful as if I were rushing through haphazardly.
The solution is balance. In this, and in other endeavors, it is important to be confident, and to work at a steady, vigorous pace--jump right in even if you can't envision the entire process in complete clarity. On the other hand, it is also important to be patient and exercise care while working. We must constantly reflect on the progress of the action and be willing to make adjustments. Applying the proper measure of each of these concepts is what produces effectiveness. On the overly thoughtful side you have those pussy generals that Pericles was trash talking in Thucydides, and on the over confident without being reflective side you have someone like George Bush.
Hmmm...no time to write about my second example. Maybe later. I want to give a recommendation for the film My Architect really quickly--great, inspirational movie. Plus it has a lot of Philly in it. Hell yeah on reading Plutarch Dan.
1. This week I've been thinking about confidence. I tend to err on the side of being overly cautious, which at its extreme moments might really just be cowardice. Like if I'm building a model. I want every piece to be absolutely perfect, so I take a long time to draw each line, cut very slow with the blade, glue as carefully as I can, etc. I've actually found that if I'm too careful, or perhaps too timid, that can be just as harmful as if I were rushing through haphazardly.
The solution is balance. In this, and in other endeavors, it is important to be confident, and to work at a steady, vigorous pace--jump right in even if you can't envision the entire process in complete clarity. On the other hand, it is also important to be patient and exercise care while working. We must constantly reflect on the progress of the action and be willing to make adjustments. Applying the proper measure of each of these concepts is what produces effectiveness. On the overly thoughtful side you have those pussy generals that Pericles was trash talking in Thucydides, and on the over confident without being reflective side you have someone like George Bush.
Hmmm...no time to write about my second example. Maybe later. I want to give a recommendation for the film My Architect really quickly--great, inspirational movie. Plus it has a lot of Philly in it. Hell yeah on reading Plutarch Dan.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 133-10
Streak: Won 15
Summary: I spent so long responding to Dan's post that I don't have much time to write my own post. I almost threw in the towel and took a loss today, but in a last second miracle I persevered. Normal activities today. Weight at 173, three lessons of French. Class tonight. Action packed!
Record: 133-10
Streak: Won 15
Summary: I spent so long responding to Dan's post that I don't have much time to write my own post. I almost threw in the towel and took a loss today, but in a last second miracle I persevered. Normal activities today. Weight at 173, three lessons of French. Class tonight. Action packed!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 132-10
Streak: Won 14
Summary: Car is messed up again, so that's interrupting my schedule in a huge way. I excused myself from writing this morning because I would have fallen asleep at the computer even if I did get up. With morning pages I required myself to get up no matter what, since they work just as well if you're half-passed out as they do when you're awake. With my book, however, I need to be at least sufficiently alert so that I'm not writing total horse shit. As I said, the book is not a project or a requirement. It'll take all the time it needs. If I don't do it one day, that's all right. I'll try to do it as much as I can, but I'm not going to force it. Having said that, I might not work on it tomorrow either, since the morning would be the only time that I could potentially spend on it, and I'm already feeling extremely wiped out. We'll see.
In addition to the car, what else have I been doing that's wiped me out so much? Mainly class work. Working full-time and taking these two classes has been hectic to say the least. But I'm kicking ass, so it's all good. I did two lessons in French, weighed in around 174, spent 3 hours working on a model, and spent about 20 minutes touching up a drawing for a presentation tomorrow. I got extra credit in one class for having my project done on the date that we were supposed to have it done because almost no one else did.
Record: 132-10
Streak: Won 14
Summary: Car is messed up again, so that's interrupting my schedule in a huge way. I excused myself from writing this morning because I would have fallen asleep at the computer even if I did get up. With morning pages I required myself to get up no matter what, since they work just as well if you're half-passed out as they do when you're awake. With my book, however, I need to be at least sufficiently alert so that I'm not writing total horse shit. As I said, the book is not a project or a requirement. It'll take all the time it needs. If I don't do it one day, that's all right. I'll try to do it as much as I can, but I'm not going to force it. Having said that, I might not work on it tomorrow either, since the morning would be the only time that I could potentially spend on it, and I'm already feeling extremely wiped out. We'll see.
In addition to the car, what else have I been doing that's wiped me out so much? Mainly class work. Working full-time and taking these two classes has been hectic to say the least. But I'm kicking ass, so it's all good. I did two lessons in French, weighed in around 174, spent 3 hours working on a model, and spent about 20 minutes touching up a drawing for a presentation tomorrow. I got extra credit in one class for having my project done on the date that we were supposed to have it done because almost no one else did.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 130-10
Streak: Won 12
Summary: I ended up not having a day off, but it's OK. I'm working on not pitying myself, because, first of all, I agree with Emerson that you can only be ripped off by yourself, and second of all, I have an extremely luxurious and wonderful life.
I went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, finished my drafting projects, and then went out to dinner for a belated Valentine's Day dinner with Eva. The dinner was fantastic. Everything else was solid and I'm happy with my completed projects.
Week in Review: I put in a completely solid week. It wasn't perfect--one day I didn't do French, I could have worked harder at times, I didn't write on Saturday, I didn't read, I didn't have a day off, and I didn't completely control myself emotionally, although I was better than normal. I was moody a little this morning, for example.
Next week will be more mellow since I'll be handing in my projects tomorrow, and then we won't have a test or a project for at least 1 week. Also, I'm getting my car back from the garage tomorrow, and I feel like odds are that it should be all right for a while before it needs another repair.
Goals for next week:
1. I want to focus on suppressing my feelings of self-pity.
2. I want to make it so that when I work, I'm working very hard, and when I'm relaxing, I'm completely relaxed and not worrying about anything. I've already vastly improved in this category, but I could get better.
3. I want to fucking read! Damn, am I never going to finish another book again? Of course I know I'm being dramatic. But I really would like to read. My goal, seriously, is to read from 4 pm until 11 pm on Saturday. Mark those words.
4. I just want to maintain all of the good stuff that I've been doing.
Record: 130-10
Streak: Won 12
Summary: I ended up not having a day off, but it's OK. I'm working on not pitying myself, because, first of all, I agree with Emerson that you can only be ripped off by yourself, and second of all, I have an extremely luxurious and wonderful life.
I went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, finished my drafting projects, and then went out to dinner for a belated Valentine's Day dinner with Eva. The dinner was fantastic. Everything else was solid and I'm happy with my completed projects.
Week in Review: I put in a completely solid week. It wasn't perfect--one day I didn't do French, I could have worked harder at times, I didn't write on Saturday, I didn't read, I didn't have a day off, and I didn't completely control myself emotionally, although I was better than normal. I was moody a little this morning, for example.
Next week will be more mellow since I'll be handing in my projects tomorrow, and then we won't have a test or a project for at least 1 week. Also, I'm getting my car back from the garage tomorrow, and I feel like odds are that it should be all right for a while before it needs another repair.
Goals for next week:
1. I want to focus on suppressing my feelings of self-pity.
2. I want to make it so that when I work, I'm working very hard, and when I'm relaxing, I'm completely relaxed and not worrying about anything. I've already vastly improved in this category, but I could get better.
3. I want to fucking read! Damn, am I never going to finish another book again? Of course I know I'm being dramatic. But I really would like to read. My goal, seriously, is to read from 4 pm until 11 pm on Saturday. Mark those words.
4. I just want to maintain all of the good stuff that I've been doing.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 129-10
Streak: Won 11
Summary: I think I just saw a tumble weed blow past me in the cyberspace of our web ring.
Today I kept plugging away on my projects, with leisure mixed in. I got up at 11, made omelets, coffee, and fruit plates, ate with Eva, started listening to WRTI and my own music, and drafted until now. I just took a break to grab a snack and write this, but then I'm going to get back into it. At 7 I'm going to an employee appreciation party for my work.
I like my drawings. It's satisfying to work so long on something and then to see the results compressed into a single, beautiful object.
Record: 129-10
Streak: Won 11
Summary: I think I just saw a tumble weed blow past me in the cyberspace of our web ring.
Today I kept plugging away on my projects, with leisure mixed in. I got up at 11, made omelets, coffee, and fruit plates, ate with Eva, started listening to WRTI and my own music, and drafted until now. I just took a break to grab a snack and write this, but then I'm going to get back into it. At 7 I'm going to an employee appreciation party for my work.
I like my drawings. It's satisfying to work so long on something and then to see the results compressed into a single, beautiful object.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 128-10
Streak: Won 10
Summary: I finally finished that scene in my book this morning. I was proud of myself for waking up, because when that alarm went off, I thought I was going to get back in bed. It's great these days that I seem to be able to work whether I feel like it or not. Maybe I'm approaching the point where I'll win every day no matter what.
I'm drawing again like a mad-motherfucker. I've been drawing since 4:45 with no plans to stop until 11. It looks very nice, I think.
It's crazy to think about wasting time. I bet there are people out there who have 100% maximized their time. I'm not talking about working all the time, because, #1, it's impossible, and #2, your work would suck because you wouldn't have any perspective, not to mention the fact that your life would suck in general. I'm talking about people who sleep enough, have sufficient time to spend "with their family" (because, if it were a guy, he wouldn't be a real man otherwise)--but there would be no excess time. The work would occur at the limits of what is possible and healthy, with absolute efficiency. A minute wasted would be a horror. I guess Dan is striving for something like this, and I am too, in a way, but my goals are much more modest. I remember reading this anecdote about how Ed Rendell walked into a meeting 6 minutes late, and Arlen Specter ripped him a new asshole, telling him that if they were a law firm, he would have just wasted 1/10th of their bottom line for that meeting, or something like that. In one state of mind, 6 minutes is nothing. But in another state of mind, you've just wasted an eternity.
Debussy's La Cathedrale Engloutie (The Sunken Cathedral) is not only my favorite song of any genre right now, but it may be the most beautiful collection of sounds I've ever heard period.
Record: 128-10
Streak: Won 10
Summary: I finally finished that scene in my book this morning. I was proud of myself for waking up, because when that alarm went off, I thought I was going to get back in bed. It's great these days that I seem to be able to work whether I feel like it or not. Maybe I'm approaching the point where I'll win every day no matter what.
I'm drawing again like a mad-motherfucker. I've been drawing since 4:45 with no plans to stop until 11. It looks very nice, I think.
It's crazy to think about wasting time. I bet there are people out there who have 100% maximized their time. I'm not talking about working all the time, because, #1, it's impossible, and #2, your work would suck because you wouldn't have any perspective, not to mention the fact that your life would suck in general. I'm talking about people who sleep enough, have sufficient time to spend "with their family" (because, if it were a guy, he wouldn't be a real man otherwise)--but there would be no excess time. The work would occur at the limits of what is possible and healthy, with absolute efficiency. A minute wasted would be a horror. I guess Dan is striving for something like this, and I am too, in a way, but my goals are much more modest. I remember reading this anecdote about how Ed Rendell walked into a meeting 6 minutes late, and Arlen Specter ripped him a new asshole, telling him that if they were a law firm, he would have just wasted 1/10th of their bottom line for that meeting, or something like that. In one state of mind, 6 minutes is nothing. But in another state of mind, you've just wasted an eternity.
Debussy's La Cathedrale Engloutie (The Sunken Cathedral) is not only my favorite song of any genre right now, but it may be the most beautiful collection of sounds I've ever heard period.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
There's a saying that goes, "Philadelphia isn't as bad as Philadelphians say it is", or something like that. Well, I have always said SEPTA sucks. I remember Dan saying SEPTA is awesome in comparison to other shit out there and me being skeptical. So I was pleasantly surprised when, in an unofficial search through some random message boards and ranking sites, Philly actually appears to have one of the most highly regarded systems in America. At worst, it is placed on par with Boston, which I remember thinking had a great system.
My search was prompted by reading the Inquirer article about the threat of fare increases and me thinking I fucking hate SEPTA. Even though it's not as bad as I make it out to be in my head, I still think we deserve far better. We should be striving for something like London or Paris.
My search was prompted by reading the Inquirer article about the threat of fare increases and me thinking I fucking hate SEPTA. Even though it's not as bad as I make it out to be in my head, I still think we deserve far better. We should be striving for something like London or Paris.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 126-10
Streak: 8
Summary: I'm working on cultivating a tough mind, what the godfather might call a "man's mind", the opposite of Sonny's soft mind when he's playing all that comedy with that girl. As I said before, I can't always control my state of mind, so I can't wait until it's right before I work. On the other hand, perhaps the toughness that I'm talking about is having an ever present meta-attitude that knows that only "women and children" (again, to quote the Godfather) can afford to be careless.
I wrote, despite feeling horrible when I woke up. I used my Artist's Way tools: I'm currently on a scene that I'm having a hard time writing, so I brainstormed about it in morning pages format. I got at least 1 great idea about the scene if not 2. I also filtered a lot of things that I want to avoid with it. This is great. I'll get there, I know it.
Later when I was doing French, I used a slightly different approach than the last few days. Normally I go through each item in each lesson, trying to focus on every point. I realized that my impulse to do this is more aesthetic than practical. It is satisfying to feel like you have squeezed everything out of a lesson, or gone over every point and not missed a thing. The truth is that I already know a great deal of this material, so now I'm inspectionally reading at first, and then when I get to a section that's either new or needs review, I'll stop, analyze, put in the cd, and do that item specifically. I ripped through 3 lessons using this method.
When I got home my sickness returned. Oh yeah, I should mention that we got off from class this evening because of the snow. I used the time to think about certain strategic things that I might or might not do right now, went to the art store (which was fucking pointless because they decided to close early because of the snow) and then I got down to business, drafting for 3 and a 1/2 hours. I'm about to eat something light and sleep.
Record: 126-10
Streak: 8
Summary: I'm working on cultivating a tough mind, what the godfather might call a "man's mind", the opposite of Sonny's soft mind when he's playing all that comedy with that girl. As I said before, I can't always control my state of mind, so I can't wait until it's right before I work. On the other hand, perhaps the toughness that I'm talking about is having an ever present meta-attitude that knows that only "women and children" (again, to quote the Godfather) can afford to be careless.
I wrote, despite feeling horrible when I woke up. I used my Artist's Way tools: I'm currently on a scene that I'm having a hard time writing, so I brainstormed about it in morning pages format. I got at least 1 great idea about the scene if not 2. I also filtered a lot of things that I want to avoid with it. This is great. I'll get there, I know it.
Later when I was doing French, I used a slightly different approach than the last few days. Normally I go through each item in each lesson, trying to focus on every point. I realized that my impulse to do this is more aesthetic than practical. It is satisfying to feel like you have squeezed everything out of a lesson, or gone over every point and not missed a thing. The truth is that I already know a great deal of this material, so now I'm inspectionally reading at first, and then when I get to a section that's either new or needs review, I'll stop, analyze, put in the cd, and do that item specifically. I ripped through 3 lessons using this method.
When I got home my sickness returned. Oh yeah, I should mention that we got off from class this evening because of the snow. I used the time to think about certain strategic things that I might or might not do right now, went to the art store (which was fucking pointless because they decided to close early because of the snow) and then I got down to business, drafting for 3 and a 1/2 hours. I'm about to eat something light and sleep.
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