Some days you're on a roll and other days it's a battle. The day started out pretty well--I basically prepared for my lesson, got myself ready, and I also ended up talking to a potential tenant to take my place once I leave. He seems like a cool guy, I hope it works out for him (and for me too, if he decides he likes the paint job so I don't have to paint it back to white). Class itself went well, and when I came back, I finished my exercise and capped a strong first half of the day.
It was after my class that I started to falter a bit. I was desperately craving to go out and get some food, maybe get some snacks, and watch a movie or something, just chill out. I mentioned before that I've been eating beans, rice, and vegetables for lunch and dinner exclusively for the last week or two, both to save money and for my health. Of course, eating out violates both of the principles that motivated my current regimen to begin with.
My first response was to use my free Potbelly's Sandwiches gift card for dinner, thereby ending my craving without spending money or getting anything too unhealthy. I walked to the place, but it was already closed when I got there. It's an absolute miracle that I didn't collapse right then and there and get some junk food or something. I walked back to the apartment, pulled out my beans, rice, and vegetables, and tried my best to be positive about the whole thing.
After dinner the cravings didn't end, but I kept battling. I let myself mess around on the internet to try to distract myself. I ended up watching player interviews from Eagle's training camp, and that actually helped me to stay focused. I saw Brian Dawkin's mad face looking at me if I gave up my program and went to the corner store, so I held tight. In the end, I didn't cave in, and I even got a little bit of work done, so I can count this as a victory, though not an easy one.

I worked all day Friday and Saturday, which is why I didn't post. Earlier today I proctored a test, during which I prepared for school, and afterward I did laundry, planned some things for next week, talked to my mom, made food for the week, and watched Au Revoir Les Enfants.
The movie was powerful. Somehow this one affected me more than other films depicting the horrors of war. I felt anxiety and helplessness watching it, but then I realized that there are events like the Holocaust taking place right now, such as in Sudan. I've often thought, "how could all those Americans sit back during the Holocaust and not do anything?". I'm flabbergasted when I think about the apathy. Well, tonight after watching the film I realized that I'm one of those very people that flabbergast me. Even after I read What is the What, I still failed to recognize the reality of what's happening and my own lack of action.
Then I wondered what to do--where do I go from here? Make a donation? To begin with, I plan to write to my political representatives on all levels. Maybe I could talk my parents into adopting a refugee child? Maybe I could adopt a refugee child.
It's really shocking for me to meditate on the fact that events equal or greater in magnitude to the Holocaust are currently taking place. How can humanity continue to tolerate this? We all have a responsibility never to cease fighting for the principles of peace, justice, freedom, and understanding.

I'm posting early because I expect to come home late tonight from proctoring, and since I'm getting up early for work, I want to be able to go straight to bed.
This morning I prepared my loan documents as far as I was able, created an internet posting to sell my drafting board, made a flyer for it, biked to Penn, Drexel, and CCP to post my flyer, did some push-ups once I got back, continue analytically reading the Klosterman article, checked my e-mails, and after this I'm going to make some dinner and go to the Kaplan center.
It was cool seeing Drexel and CCP more in depth than I had previously. Each is an entirely separate world of students, teachers, projects, concerns, money, etc. Like discreet cities within the city. Penn gets most of the exposure, but the others seemed quite vibrant (at least socially).
Analytical reading is so rewarding. Sometimes I wish I could go through St. John's again and spend even more time analyzing and carefully reading the books. I mean, I did well, but it fell short of my ideal vision of Program immersion. In any case, it's gratifying to be resuming my reading activities in some form similar to that at St. John's, though I think the pieces I'll read from now on won't be as colorful or as imaginative.

I prepared for my class, biked to Temple, taught my class, biked back, did some pushups upon returning, ate dinner, posted my PDA on ebay for sale, filled out more forms for my loans, figured out some practical stuff, and responded to my e-mails.
I can't say strongly enough how much I'm enjoying my Charlie Parker CD. I remember someone once said in Senior Math Tutorial, "How did Einstein see it this way? What could have possibly lead him to envision the universe in such a fashion?", to which another student responded, "who knows--where do the notes come from that Charlie Parker plays? They're completely inconceivable". Yeah, so anyway, since then I've wanted to listen to more Charlie Parker, and I'm glad that I have.
It's hot in herr these days. No air conditioning or fan in my living room. I guess I could get a fan, but I feel like it's a waste of money for such little time remaining.
Eva's sister didn't end up coming here because her flight was delayed, so the stuff is still in the apartment. I'm not worried about it, just so long as I don't have to do something with it when it's time for me to move.
Tomorrow I'm proctoring at night, but other than that I have the day free. I might invite Lizzie over for coffee if I talk to her again. Otherwise I want to work on my loans, get my other items for sale up on the internet, and if possible, spend some time working on my pre-work.

I worked on loan applications, cleaned my MacBook, did some academic assignments for MIT, worked out, ate dinner with my dad at Sahara, and continued doing loan stuff later on.
Most student loan articles that I've read recommend the PLUS loan because it has a fixed interest rate, unlike others that are attached to an index. Ok, that's fair, but what about the fact that the interest rate sucks? 8.5% is pretty bad. I got pre-approved for a private loan at (prime rate - 0.5%), which would make my current rate 4.5%. With bonuses and stuff, and I could get that down a full point during repayment. I know the prime rate goes up, but it would have to go up to 9% to even equal the PLUS loan, and I was looking over the historical trends and anything greater than 9 is very rare. At this point, I'm inclined to take the 4.5%.
Last night before going to bed I finished the excerpt of Ebeneezer Howard's Garden Cities of To-Morrow in the City Reader. That one seems right up there with Jane Jacobs in terms of inspiration factor. His general idea about bringing many of the positive qualities of the country into the city, such as fresh air, trees, and clean water, is one of my basic values in planning. Today I read an op-ed piece by Charles Murray about the impending white underclass arising from increasing illegitimacy rates, and later I read Arguments For and Against Planning by Richard Klosterman. Both readings were assigned as summer work, and they asked that we follow a method similar to the HTRAB method in analyzing them. It was sweet--I feel like I can say that I have inspectionally read both pieces and analytically read the first. Tomorrow I'm going to finish "analyzing" the Klosterman piece.
Everything else was good today. Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser really does work well on the MacBook's palm rest area. I cleaned the palm rests, keys, screen, repaired the main disk and permissions, and took care of my updates. It's still a pleasure to use this computer.

I visited my sister and her boyfriend in Devon, which was cool, but the dietary discipline flew out the window for that time. Once I got back, I studied my lesson, biked to Temple, taught my class, biked home, got Radio France working on my computer, made a round of beans, rice, and vegetables that should last a few days, planned my trip to Annapolis, made granola, e-mailed some people, and next I'm going to read and go to bed.
Tomorrow I want to work on securing my alternative loan, get in a good exercise session, and work on my academic pre-work. I basically have the entire day to get stuff done, which should be fantastic.
Watched L'Avenue Montagne, which was good. The visuals were pleasing and the characters were charming, but the narrative seemed a bit weak. Apparently Paris Je T'Aime is the same movie except way better.
I spoke to Eva tonight. It was nice to talk to her but it was weird as I would have expected. I actually don't want to get too much into stuff so personal on here.
While I was eating I listened to Charlie Parker's Complete Verve Bop Quintets. It's so good, but I'm in such an undeveloped stage in my understanding of jazz. With regard to jazz, I'm in the same place as I was with regard to classical music in about 2001. At least I know some of the basics, I love it, and--thank you Mr. Franklin--there are glorious libraries making CDs like the aforementioned freely available to me.

Today I had my final dentist session in the morning, taught my GRE class, took care of some administrative work, and later I'm going to do some reading.
My class went well. My lately improved sleeping and dietary habits are allowing me to be more effective in all aspects of my life, including my teaching. In fact, I finished a typically difficult and time-consuming lesson with time to spare, and everything got covered thoroughly.
I'd recommend watching the following video: http://www.wecansolveit.org/content/pages/304/ . It's a speech by Al Gore about shifting our energy use away from carbon based fuels completely in 10 years, why it's feasible, and why it'll help many of our current economic, environmental, and national security problems. Much of it is already floating around in the pool of contemporary knowledge about such things, but I thought it was a powerful and motivating speech nonetheless. It's especially apropos Derek's admirable new consumer ethic.
Earlier today I was reminded of the joys of biking in the city, specifically in Center City Philadelphia. I'm not being sarcastic--I really enjoy it. It's such a rush to thread between rows of cars in a canyon of gleaming skyscrapers and stately old buildings, moving nimbly through dense traffic and crowds of people, and swinging widely around turns wrapping wide avenues, fountains, and monuments. It was glorious, and I look forward to my future rides.
The reason for my ride is that my GRE class is held at Temple, so if I need to stop at the Kaplan center before hand, which I needed to do today, I ride down Locust, around Rittenhouse, north on 16th, stop at the center, continue on 16th to Race, east on Race to Broad, and then north on Broad to Temple. Doing this I finally got a good look at the Divine Lorraine, which is a beautiful building.
I'm reading an essay by Frederick Law Olmstead, and I might finish it tonight.
Tomorrow I have some administrative tasks to complete, but mainly I will be working on my academic preparations for school.

Tonight I had the best food that I've ever had in my life thus far. No exaggeration. It was the BBQ Jamaican Seitan with spicy scotch bonnet crema at Horizons in Philadelphia. In fact, Leslie and I both declared, decisively, that it was the best thing either of us had ever had. The whole meal, by means of its masterful composition of sensory elements, transcended the senses and inspired us the way a great work of art might. This might sound excessive, but it really was amazing. But I'm going to stop now, because the words just sound like mystical hyperbole, which dishonors the meal.

Summary of the Day:
In the morning and early afternoon I cleaned the apartment and got ready for Leslie to come. The only other thing I had a chance to do was to check my old computer, which looks fine, although the fan isn't running. I'm going to try to get the Hill-Burton application into Penn tomorrow.
Once Leslie got here, we walked around Center City, ate at Singapore, walked around the City Hall area, went up to the top of the Club Quarters building to see the view from the balcony, chilled in Rittenhouse Square for a bit, and then came home. Singapore was awesome--it was a good decision to go there. We got orange beef and General Tso's chicken, which are both reliable Singapore classics. The orange beef was good, but the GT chicken was awesome. I think it gave Derek's Human Beef a run for its money.

Plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast, then bike around Center City and UC, drop off Hill-Burton app, hang out at Green Line café for a bit and do some work, and then ride back into Center City and get Gianna's cheesesteaks for dinner. At some point I want to finish making her a reference list of places (I got the map done), and we also need to get some groceries.

I've been slacking off with my posting, but I want to fix that. Planning across concrete and regular interviewsof time has already proven itself beneficial to me, and requiring myself to actually write out those plans—one of the functions of my blog—has made their benefits even greater via increased clarity.
When I wrote my senior essay at college, I discovered that writing isn't merely a record of thoughts that are complete by the time they get to the paper. To think this is tempting, but in fact, the paper holds us to a higher standard than our brains do. Merely thinking about something allows us to make all sorts of mental leaps and smudges that we either let slide or do not see. When you write, and you're forced to read back to yourself your own line of thinking, errors become more apparent. Therefore, writing and thinking are dialectical, not linear.

Plan for the Remainder of the Year:
The most important thing is that I want to complete a strong first semester at school. Academically, I want to get as far as I can with my course-work by taking advantage of the test-out opportunities for some of the entry level classes. Also, I want to have gained a sense of focus within the field and begin building toward specialization. By the end of the first semester I expect to have a decent grasp on the general issues in the field and where I can go from there. Non-academically, I want to get a good handle on the funding resources available to me and to begin the process of procuring those funds.
Also by the end of the year, I intend for my fitness tug-of-war to be over and for me to have achieved a level of fitness that I find acceptable. This means by the year's end, I will have sustained a healthy diet and exercise for longer than a week or two, and as a consequence, I will have broken whatever reliance I have on sugar.
Once my fitness goals are achieved, I'll be more inclined to cultivate a wardrobe so I can end my riff-raff appearance once and for all. The only limiting factor for this goal is money, but even so, I think by the end of the year I should be able to put together something more respectable than what I have now. Not to mention the fact that I've been working more than I planned specifically with the intention of spending that money on new clothes.
Beyond fitness, I want to increase my computer savvy. First of all, my new computer has inspired me to learn more. Performing tasks and getting new information has seemed easier and, just as important, more fun. I know it's cliché, but on some basic level, the fact that my new computer simply works most all the time makes my use of it so much more satisfying.
Aside from the fun and inspiration that my new computer has caused, the technological resources that will be available to me at school will be so immense, that I want to be able to tap into them and participate in some way.
In regard to habits and routine, at some point, tightening my discipline will no longer be simply desirable but necessary. That time might be once I start graduate school. This means regularly making plans, schedules, and policies and sticking to them. My intention is for that to be automatic by the end of the year.
Regarding French, by the end of the year I want to be either nearly fluent or totally fluent. My skill level was rising rapidly during the summer and fall of 2006, but then it started stagnating after that. It's possible that my skill level has even declined slightly since that time. Now is the time to “go in for the kill”, master that thing, implement some way to keep it fresh, and move on.
To accomplish this I have three general strategies that I plan to use during the next few months. First, I will put in at least 3 hours of work per week doing reading, grammar practice, or some combination of the two. Second, I plan to watch French movies in at least a 1:1 ratio with non-French movies, if not a 2:1 ratio. Third, I will seek out conversation partners and groups and utilize them routinely.
Another skill I want to cultivate is dancing. I'm waiting until I get to school for this, since there will probably be free lessons available to me there. Not only is it fun, but it seems like one of a gentleman's basic refinements, and since I'm striving to cultivate the character of a gentleman, I intend to learn how to dance.
Continuing the ideas of character cultivation, I want to become more social and less judgmental. Getting with the 21st century and creating a Facebook was one way of accomplishing this. Others include creating my contacts list, resurrecting my AIM account, participating in the conversation groups I mentioned above, going to parties, and looking into Couch Surfing. At least as far as parties goes, the house I'll be living in apparently hosts many of the department parties, so that'll make it fairly easy to accomplish that goal. By parties, I don't mean out-of-control college keg stands, but something more subdued.
Another activity I want to get back into is playing music. I don't want to take it too seriously or spend too much time doing it, but something small on the side would be nice. I miss it, frankly. I was imagining playing a guitar-and-vocals set at a local coffee shop, something like that.
One final goal is to make volunteering routine. Once I get to Cambridge, I'm going to look into volunteering programs run through the school as well as the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program. The latter sounds like something I would both find satisfying and something that would make a significant positive impact on the community. Regardless of what I end up doing, volunteering should be a given in my life by the end of the year.

Plan for the Month
I decided on a fairly major departure from my previous plan concerning my life-style between now and the beginning of school. Because time is so limited, and since I really want to do this right, I'm cutting back on social activity and the level of energy and time that I'm going to invest in food preparations. Socially, I don't feel as lonely as I did before, and there really isn't much time left before school, so I think I can tolerate retreating into my work a little bit.
Food-wise, I'm planning for a fairly austere regimen. For breakfasts I'm going to continue eating fruit, granola, yogurt, and an egg, although I'm not going to have coffee anymore as a routine item. For lunch and dinner I'm going to start having brown rice with beans and vegetables. It will help me save money and get into shape quickly. Although it sounds harsh, I did that for several months in Annapolis last year, and it wasn't that bad.
Having said this, one major exception to this will be the period of time between this Tuesday the 15th and Tuesday the 22nd. Leslie is coming to visit, which is awesome, but there's no way I'm going to act like St. Jerome while she's here. I'm going to take her out for all the classic Philadelphia foods and attractions, so during that time, I'll be in a relatively leisurely state.
By the end of the month I want to be deep into my course work so that I can attempt my test-outs. I should have a detailed sense of what information I need to learn and what resources are available for me to learn it. At that time I want to have a schedule made that will carry me until my move-out date.
Funding research should be done by the end of the month. It looks like there aren't any scholarships taking applications before school starts, but if I find any, I also want to be deep into the process of completing those.
Other than jumping into my course work, I want to continue chipping away at my task list and maintaining my routine tasks, like French. Task-list wise, it seems plausible to finish my loan paperwork and sell my old computer, PDA, and other miscellaneous electronics before the month's end. Of course, another crucial, on-going task is doing what I need to do to prepare for my move to Cambridge. I refuse to let this move be as rushed and stressful as all my previous moves have been going all the way back to the beginning of college. I have already set aside an entire week to complete the majority of the specific logistical tasks associated with the move, as well as the move itself.
The only thing I should mention here is the possibility of my Annapolis trip taking place around the weekend of the 25th. The other time I'm considering is the weekend of August 8th.

Plan for the Week:
As I mentioned in my plan for the month, Leslie is coming this Tuesday and will be here for the remainder of the week. This should be a blast, but it means that the change in my food policy won't happen until next week and also that there will be a greater quantity of fun in the balance between work and fun.
Stuff we'll do will probably include biking up Kelly Drive and into the park, going to University City, hanging out in Rittenhouse, going to coffee shops, checking out some historical things, going to some of the museums (including the Barnes, Art Museum, and maybe the Franklin), doing architecture tours, going to a concert at the Curtis institute, and eating a lot of food. In preparation for her arrival, I intend to print out some maps and information for her.
To further my primary endeavor at the moment—my academic preparations—I plan to spend 4 hours Wednesday, 4 hours Sunday, and 4 hours in smaller sessions throughout the week doing course work and funding research.
Work-wise, I plan to go into Media all day Thursday and part of the day Friday. On Saturday I'm proctoring a test for Kaplan. My previous GRE class ended on Sunday, and my next one isn't starting until next week.
In terms of other work, one major thing I plan to do is to clean the apartment before Leslie gets here. This includes cleaning the bathroom, washing sheets and pillow cases, moving all of Eva's stuff, and doing a general cleaning. I also need to do some grocery shopping, but I think I'll wait until she gets here to take care of that.
Some individual things I want to do this week include getting my Hill-Burton application to Penn (they lost the first one I sent them), doing another diagnostic check of my old computer to get ready for its sale, and to advance whatever I need to advance to take care of my loans.

Plan for Tomorrow:
The first thing I plan to do is to take my Hill Burton application to Penn. Then I will pick up wherever I left off with my house work and other preparations for Leslie's arrival. She comes at 5:30, so I think I'll be able to finish getting ready with some extra time left over before she gets here. With that extra time I want to test my old computer, do loan paperwork, and possibly get a head start on that extra four hours of course work.
Once Leslie gets here, I was thinking we could go to Singapore for dinner, stop at Trader Joe's for groceries, and maybe go to a coffee shop afterward.
I debated with myself about which vegetarian chinese restaurant to go to, and I eventually chose Singapore. I chose Singapore because it has been the best overall on a consistent basis.
Despite the fact that Kingdom gets the most hype, I've only had one thing there that I liked out of going there 4 different times and trying multiple things each time. That one thing also happens to be the most expensive thing on the menu. Furthermore, their food always seems to be luke warm when it comes out.
Charles Plaza is good, but it isn't dedicated to vegetarian food 100%, and sometimes that seems to hurt the quality of their veggie stuff.
Su Xing is good, but not as consistently good as Singapore.
Finally, there's Harmony, which is a close second to Singapore. In their favor, the best vegetarian chinese meal I've ever had in Philadelphia was at Harmony, but on the other hand, one of the worst vegetarian chinese meals I've ever had was there as well. It just seems inconsistent. Singapore is almost always at least solid, and I'm quite familiar with their menu at this point so I have a couple dishes I can order that I know will be excellent.

From Mr. Emerson:

"It is for want of self-culture that the superstition of Travelling, whose idols are Italy, England, Egypt, retains its fascination for all educated Americans. They who made England, Italy, or Greece venerable in the imagination did so by sticking fast where they were, like an axis of the earth. In manly hours, we feel that duty is our place. The soul is no traveller; the wise man stays at home, and when his necessities, his duties, on any occasion call him from his house, or into foreign lands, he is at home still, and shall make men sensible by the expression of his countenance, that he goes the missionary of wisdom and virtue, and visits cities and men like a sovereign, and not like an interloper or a valet.

I have no churlish objection to the circumnavigation of the globe, for the purposes of art, of study, and benevolence, so that the man is first domesticated, or does not go abroad with the hope of finding somewhat greater than he knows. He who travels to be amused, or to get somewhat which he does not carry, travels away from himself, and grows old even in youth among old things. In Thebes, in Palmyra, his will and mind have become old and dilapidated as they. He carries ruins to ruins.

Travelling is a fool's paradise. Our first journeys discover to us the indifference of places. At home I dream that at Naples, at Rome, I can be intoxicated with beauty, and lose my sadness. I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the stern fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from. I seek the Vatican, and the palaces. I affect to be intoxicated with sights and suggestions, but I am not intoxicated. My giant goes with me wherever I go."

Hell yeah. First of all, I hope that I can fill my life with good works on behalf of my home, Philadelphia, and make it another England, Italy, or Greece. I have been and will continue to strive to be the axis that Emerson talks about.
Next, I had a great experience today with regard to one of his latter points. I was in the suburbs at my grandmother's house, and I felt tranquil in her yard amid gardens, trees, and sun. It seemed idyllic, and I was happy. I figured my trip back home would be grim in comparison, as I'd need to ride on the El Shuttle through the more rundown sections of West Philly, breaking the bucolic setting of the garden.
However, to my delight, once I got to 69th street and boarded my bus, I felt at home again for the second time, and more than that, I felt tranquil again. I loved the citizens on the bus, the shops in the streets, and the murals as much as I did the flowers, trees, and birds earlier. Then I realized, the tranquility was not a function of external factors--it was from within. Assuming that that's an accurate reflection, I don't know whether I can take credit for that or not. I guess Emerson would say that I can and should take credit for it, and it's not as if I haven't been striving for years--almost a decade at this point--to cultivate an excellent character and tranquility of mind. Maybe I'm starting to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Pittsburgh Trip:

On Thursday Dan and I walked around downtown Pittsburgh for most of the afternoon. We checked out the CSX building, the PPG building, the Mellon Center, some of the church's (though we were barred from entering the one I wanted to see the most, the First Presbyterian Church), the Gulf Center, several of the parks, Point Park, and several other buildings. We randomly got a chance to tour the office of Urban Design Associates in the Gulf Center and hear about some of the projects they're working on.
The downtown somehow reminded me of Minneapolis's downtown architecturally. It looked old and industrial, which is beautiful in a way. The modernist buildings from the 30s were cool, but much of the newer stuff looked ugly to me.
Culturally/socially, it was pretty cool--much more vibrant than, say, Baltimore, but more desolate than Philadelphia or New York. Renewal projects are plentiful and conspicuous. It seems like the city is trying hard to improve their downtown.
Later that day we got pizza and coffee in Squirrel Hill. For dinner we went to this Thai restaurant with Kumiko. After that I was completely beat so I went to bed early. The night before I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep.
On Friday we met up with Kumiko again and got breakfast in Shadyside. Afterwards, Dan and I walked to CMU, toured the university area, headed over to Southside, and walked down Carson Street to the tram up Mount Washington. We went up to the top, checked out the views, and then came back down and hung out at Crazy Mocha. Then Kumiko met us and we went to Double Wide for dinner. I got their pulled seitan BBQ sandwich, which was great. It was one of the better fake meat dishes I've had.
That night we went downtown to watch the fireworks, which was cool. Much of the park was closed off, which was annoying, but it was still a good time. After that we watched Cinema Paradiso at Kumiko's and then went to sleep.
On Saturday we ate breakfast at Square Cafe with Derek and Kumiko. Dan got this killer nutella and strawberry crêpe, and though mine was good, I probably should have gotten that. Afterwards Dan and I walked through Frick Park en route to Schenley Park where the four of us met up again. We messed around in the park, playing frisbee and stuff like that, and then we went and watched Wall-E. I thought the movie was great and that it deserves all the hype it's been getting.
For dinner we went to a vegetarian chinese restaurant, which was incredible. It was among the best I've ever had. Derek's Hunan "Beef" was the best thing I tried during the entire trip.
After dinner we went to a coffee shop and then a bar later. I played darts for the first time at the bar, which was a blast. Kumiko had a crazy dart style reminiscent of Mitch Williams from the Phillies. If the darts were real, she would have taken out the game screen numerous times.
On Sunday we ate breakfast at Pamela's, which was good, and then we headed over to the train station. The station itself was beautiful and had a sweet vaulted entrance. The train ride home was ok--I was working on Kaplan, so it was basically "work", and there was this girl talking on her phone right behind me the entire trip (about 8hrs), which was distracting. The countryside was beautiful though. Also, at one point I went to get something at the snack car, ordered up my food, and then when I was trying to pay they told me the credit card machine was broken. I only had $1, so I told the guy to forget it. Just then this guy standing next to me asked me how much I needed, which was $2.50, and then he just handed me the difference. I was blown away at his generosity. I will strive to return it to the world in whatever way I can. That was the highlight of the train ride home, and one of the highlights of the trip really.
Overall I had a great time. Dan provided excellent hospitality, and it was great to see everyone over there. The city itself was cool. I had plenty of excellent food, and in many ways, it's a gorgeous city. The landscape is one of its best features. It's surrounded by forested mountains and rivers on all sides. It's like the rainforest version of San Francisco landscape-wise (well, except for the ocean and bay part). Ed Rendell was right--I did enjoy Pittsburgh.

Today: Got up late, which was ok since I was severely sleep deprived for the last few days, picked up my dad at 30th street, got a haircut, worked out, wrote a school-related e-mail, made a lovely dinner, and now I'm going to post, read, and go to bed. My dinner was salad, homemade baguettes avec beurre, and cauliflower gratin. Also, I decided to buy a book today. I've been sworn off buying books since sophomore year in college, for two reasons: 1) I move so much and moving all my books was starting to be a giant pain 2) it saves tons of money to just get them from the library. Well, I'm not done using the library, but I want to start buying books again. I even regret selling the ones that I did from St. John's. My policy was good while it was in effect, but now I think it's time to start again. Aside from the obvious reasons that they have a valuable use and that I love books as objects, I think they are a beautiful aesthetic element of a space. That might strike some as a stupid/shallow reason, but I find it compelling. I get so much pleasure walking into a room that is stacked with books, especially great ones. I want to look over from my table and see books, have them physically around me. At the moment, my book collection is paltry. I had the illusion of owning a lot of books while Eva and I were together, but most of them were hers, and now I have this depressing, empty shelf looking at me all day. Anyway, the book I bought today was The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs, a classic, and a nice one to set me back on my journey of accumulating an excellent library.

Tomorrow: All day work marathon with some French en route.

Week in Review: I took care of my basic, day-to-day tasks last week but not much beyond that. I'm ashamed that I couldn't advance my non-routine tasks more than I did.
That being said, one great piece of news is that I secured an apartment in Cambridge that sounds awesome. Location, roommates, and price are all excellent.
My trip to New York yesterday was fun. Not only is the bus $1, but it has free wifi too. Once I got there, I walked up toward Washington Square to meet Ben. From there we walked to Greenwich Village and checked out Jane Jacob's former house and block. It's so different than it was when she wrote The Death and Life of Great American Cities that visiting wasn't as cool as I thought it would be. The area seemed nice though. Frankly, I prefer Rittenhouse Square over it.
Next we visited the Met with his friend and a friend of his friend, which was great. Ben and I went really slow, studied, and discussed a small number of the European sculptures, checked out the roof garden, got an overview of some of the painting galleries, and moved through the 16th and 17th century European room re-creations and the arms gallery. Many more trips would be required just to look at everything once in a cursory fashion, let alone study each piece.
Afterward the four of us had dinner, and then Ben and I walked to downtown, checked out a few of the neighborhoods down there, and then I took the bus back.
The upper east side around the museum was stunningly beautiful from an architectural point of view. I was really blown away. The majesty of the buildings and boulevards there is unsurpassed by anything I've seen in the US. On the other hand, I was reminded of how ugly I think much of the lower east side and downtown are. Some of it is downright depressing. Overall it was a great day and it was very nice to see Ben again.
Earlier in the week I had another adventure when I took my mom out to Susanna Foo and the Orchestra. The restaurant pulls-off "asian fusion" in a way that actually works, unlike most others that try for it. It was very nice.
As good as the dinner was, the Orchestra was the highlight of the night. They played a sampling of pieces from 19th and 20th century Russian composers. I had never been to the Kimmel Center before, and I was struck by its interior beauty and the acoustics of the concert hall. While I have mixed feelings about the exterior, the inside is great and overall, it's a world-class feature of the city.
A big reason for the low productivity was a re-ignition of my grief over the breakup. It messed me up, and by the time I felt ok again, it was late in the week and I just had enough time to work and go to NY. The extent to which I feel better right now is greater than it has been since the event occurred. I expect the pain to diminish from this point forward.

Plan for next week;
I deliberated about whether or not I want to work while in Pittsburgh, and I decided that it would be best to take a complete vacation. I haven't done that in long time. The opportunity has been there before, to be sure, but it usually gets undermined by my neurosis about not getting enough work done. Not this time! I'm chilling from Thursday to Sunday morning.
Because of this, next week will be a short week work-wise. Tuesday morning through Wednesday evening will be a work block, and I also plan to spend 9 hours on Sunday preparing my Kaplan lesson.
With the time left over, I want to cut into some of my tasks on Moday, which I'll get into with my plan for tomorrow.

Summary of Today: I got up and taught my class, took care of admin, ate a lovely dinner of vegetable soup, french bread, and avocado salad while listening to Debussy, cooked some food for next week, and just did general end of the week type stuff. The highlight of the day, by far, was that I successfully baked my own baguettes. It was my first attempt, and although they're not picture perfect in appearance, they taste delicious. I made a sample one and cut it open, spread some butter on there, and enjoyed the warm, airy interior and the hard, crusty exterior. It's satisfying to do something yourself that people usually rely on someone else to do.

Plan for tomorrow: Haircut, _____, funding research, call about insurance. test old compy., copy wall calendar to new compy.

Plan for Today (End times in parenthesis):

Look at housing (look at craigslist and survey other sources of info, like local newspapers online, mit bulletin boards), reply to housing questionnaire, e-mail John: 1 hour (2:20)

meal planning and shopping: 1 hour 45 minutes DROP OFF COOK BOOK AT LIBRARY, PICK UP DEBUSSY CD, AND NETFLIX IN MAIL BOX. (4:05)

Kaplan: 2 hours (6:05)

Exercise: 30 minutes (6:35)

Read: 30 minutes, in public place preferably (7:05)

Dinner: 1 hour 30 minutes (8:35)

Drink with Juan: 1 hour 30 minutes (10:05)

Blog/Email: 30 minutes (10:35)

Meditation: 30 minutes (11:05)

11:10 bed time

30 minutes isn't enough time to cook, eat, and clean up from breakfast. I tried 45 minutes this morning, and that seemed better.
This last week was tough, for obvious reasons. After the initial shock, I started feeling better, but then at the end of the week my mood started going back down.
I think part of the reason this happened is that my activities are too isolating. I work better when I can work with other people, and especially now, it's not good to sit in my apartment alone. I want to make more of an effort to be social and to make solitary activities into group activities wherever I can. For example, I'm considering seeking out a French conversation group to replace my solitary study (this was Will's suggestion actually). Other possibilities would be group parkour and studying in public places.
Whatever may be going on, for better or worse, I did two things that should be fundamentally prohibited--I completely gave up my discipline and didn't post, meaning, I didn't spend time reflecting and planning. Some might argue that I should be less harsh on myself with my notions of discipline, but here's the problem: if I don't control myself, I eat junk food and play video games, in solitude. That's it. That's my default activity. So what should I do? I believe that I need to exert control over myself because the alternative is completely valueless, and in fact, destructive.
The posting was the second duty that I neglected. This should be automatic, every day. I need to keep trying, keep thinking, and never give up. It'll be a fight, no doubt, but the fight needs to be made, otherwise nothing will happen.
Another thought is with continuity of program. If I change up my agenda and personal management techniques too frequently, I'll never give anything a chance, and I won't have actual test cases that I can learn from. If I start a new program, and it works for a few days, but then things get horrible, normally I stop. For the short-term that might be a good response, but in the long-term, I end up cycling between the same solutions, never giving each one its full trial. What would have happened if the colonies disbanded and gave up after the Articles of Confederation debacle? At least they rode it out, studied it, and implemented an evolved program that was conceived judiciously and carefully. I want to emulate this. I have a decent program now, so I need to stick with it, truthfully reflect on what's happening, and move forward with care.
One thing that I have done for long enough to be able to critique, and which I want to eliminate, is starting each post with tallies from my to-do list. It's not representative of my effectiveness. It makes me focused on reducing my task list instead of doing what needs to be done, and although it sounds like these should be the same things, let me explain. It's like judges accepting politically motivated plea bargains because the only thing they're focused on is getting convictions to be re-elected, as if the criminals and the justice system are making deals with each other for their mutual benefit. As I have said before, it's possible to have a highly productive day in which the net task balance rises and a weak day in which the task balance lowers. I should be focused on doing what needs to be done and doing it well. I shouldn't hesitate to put things on the list because it'll raise the count, and I shouldn't put aside the more lengthy, challenging tasks in lieu of quicker things that can produce more immediate results.
In terms of material accomplishments last week, it was amazing to me in the first place that I rebounded in any kind of way from the breakup earlier in the week. By mid-to-late week, I was on schedule again and getting things done. There was also the work that had to be done to "shut down" the relationship, namely, dealing with things like dividing up belongings, figuring out money, copying pictures, and attempting to reconcile ourselves with the situation emotionally.
Other accomplishments for the week were getting the process started on a possible summer internship, putting together a nice Father's Day dinner with my sister, advancing my knowledge about my new computer, finishing the French course, and getting my teaching completed effectively. In the beginning of the week I figured that my class would be able to tell that I was upset about something, but I think I managed to keep myself completely together, at least externally.
One big frustration with my effectiveness this past week is that I feel like so much time gets put into routine tasks that I'm not actually moving forward on really important things like finding funding or housing for school. Maybe I should cut back my standard of living to be more effective with that stuff. For now, I want to continue making home-cooked meals from fresh ingredients. I'm always tempted to eliminate this, and it would be easy to do so, because it's not yet routine, and I grew up eating instant food. However, I've come to believe that this is one of those cornerstones of human life (yes, I think it's that important). It may sound silly, but I have come to believe that cooking a fresh meal with real fruits, vegetables, fresh cheese, and home-baked bread, sitting down with whatever family you have around, and having a real meal is essential to mental and physical health. Ultimately, I know how many hours there are in a day, and I know what I need to do. When constructing my daily schedule the night before, I need to parse my time in a way that is consistent with my priorities, and then the following evening, I need to check, #1, if my time allotments were accurate, #2, see what happened, and #3, re-evaluate my time budgeting and priorities for the next day.
Last night I did end up going out for Father's Day, and that took most of the night. I only got back at 10:15, which left enough time to do some accounting, plan my work hours for the week, do laundry, and install some things on the computer. But then I fell apart later in the evening, which meant that I ate snacks and played games on the computer until 2 or 3 in the morning.

Non-routine stuff that has to get done this week:
Sunday Letter
KBS System/E-mails to students
Searching for housing in Cambridge

Non-routine stuff that I really want to get done/work on this week:
Get cooking pot
Plan Annapolis trip
Find a French Conversation Group
Spend time learning the computer
Survey funding options for school
Hang out with Juan tonight

Plan for the rest of the day: Pick up at least 2 cookbooks from the library, figure out how to run KBS and e-mail my students, pick up cooking pot, plan meals, go shopping, e-mail Eric back about housing, and go out with Juan.

*POST FOR SATURDAY JUNE 14*
Items Added to Task List: 0
Items Removed from Task List: 0
Items Combined With Other Tasks: "Getting CSA in Boston" eliminated and moved under, "Boston Move"
Active Items Remaining: 35

Summary: I went to a going away party for Eva and one of our mutual friends. She wanted me to go, and it seemed like the decent thing to do, but it was surprisingly upsetting. I had to leave early, actually. I had a ride there, but I left and walked home, from around 8th and Fairmount. I don't want to get into this too much on here, but it's tough, and it's making it more difficult to be on point.
I mostly was disciplined today, with a few exceptions: I had too many desserts at the party before leaving (though the walk back mitigated that), and I watched two episodes of the Wire, when I really only wanted to watch one, and maybe I shouldn't have watched any. However, I finished my preparations for tomorrow, worked out, mostly ate healthfully, thoroughly cleaned the kitchen, read more articles for 30 minutes, finished the French, and did some planning for Father's Day. With the completion of today's French, I have now completed Living Languages French Beyond the Basics for the second time. I might do it a third time at some point, since I think I still haven't mastered everything in the course.
My task to focus on today was getting new shoes. I spent a while looking on-line and visited two shops, but no one had anything that I was looking for. I'll have to pick that task up again at a later time. I don't feel bad for not finishing that, since I put in a good effort.
The one thing I do feel bad about is not spending time setting my computer up with the network. That should have been worked on during the hour when I was watching the second Wire episode. Oh well. Honestly, I was close to making a chip, soda, and Tastykake run on Old Nelson's and giving up for the night after I walked back from the party, so the fact that I rebounded at all is decent.

Plan for tomorrow: Get up at 10:45, eat, get ready, go over my notes from 12-1, teach from 1-3:30, and then after that the day could go one of two ways. One possibility is that we do something for Father's Day tomorrow, in which case most of the rest of the day will be spent on that (traveling to Media, eating, traveling back--easily 4.5 hours). The other possibility is that we do something at a later date, and I spend tomorrow afternoon working on things.
In the first scenario, upon returning, I would take care of the essentials. This means planning meals, food shopping, doing laundry, making a CVS run, and setting my agenda for the week.
In the second scenario, I might be able to knock off several of my tasks on the to-do list. These include: getting soap, getting cellophane tape, ordering/picking up a new pair of shoes, setting up the printer, copying recipes, getting a book for keeping copied recipes, as well as doing the other things I mentioned in the first scenario.

*POST FOR FRIDAY JUNE 13*
Items Removed From the Task List: ?
Items Added to the Task List: ?
Active Items Remaining:?
*The old computer isn't booting up right now, so I can't access my task list*

Summary of the day: I got up late but was disciplined after that. I listened to All Quiet on the Western Front during breakfast and lunch. I love it so far. During dinner I listened to NPR.
I alternated between Kaplan and my other tasks. My prep for Sunday is almost complete, so I should be able to get a head start on next week's class before next week begins. I did my accounting, French, replied to e-mails, and started planning for Father's Day. I need to talk to my sister about this tomorrow.
Later I watched another episode of the Wire and read some articles that my neighbor sent me. One was on "green jobs", another was on green roofs, and the third was on government surveillance. The first was the only one that contained substance that seemed to attain any depth. The last two I'd heard before. As the author of the first article said, more data is needed about the net gain or loss of jobs when switching traditional market sectors to green modes of operation.
Is there a net increase in jobs when switching to cleantech? If so, how long will that last? And why are there more? One argument I've heard is that cleantech is more labor intensive--does this mean the costs are inherently higher? That seems to deflate the argument that some make about green building being better both for the public good AND for the bottom line. And if the argument about net job gain is based on the observation that jobs will be created in the plus column, without considering anything else, that just seems foolish. Of course, I think these things should be done because they're the right thing to do, but other reasons are being sought out to convince people who either don't think it's the right thing to do or that think it's the right thing to do but won't act on that, and these reasons, if they exist, need to be clarified and transmitted.

Plan for tomorrow: Too bad I can't look at my task list right now while making my schedule. Here's what I can say in general: get up at 11:30, work on Kaplan until the Sunday lesson is complete, work on plans for Father's Day, possibly complete two short or one medium length task on the list, spend as much time as I need to finish the French (it'll be less than 1/2 hour), possibly go to that BBQ in the evening, watch another episode of the Wire, and continue setting my new computer up with the school network.