Outcome: "Win"
Record: 121-10
Streak: Won 3
Summary: Today I felt sick and tired, literally, but I still did what I needed to do. I was tired because I've been averaging about 7 hours a night as opposed to 8, and I feel sick probably because it's that time of year. I wrote my pages, biked, worked, did French (I'm at lesson 18 out of 40 right now), weighed in at 172, worked, biked, made a deposit, and then came the event of the day: I decided that I need to get a drafting board. The lab hours are limited, and it'll save me the car trip up there on Tuesday's and Thursdays, not to mention the time, which adds up to about 2 hours a week extra. Well, I spent the majority of the evening researching what to buy, making calls, and then actually getting it. The store was pretty far, but I'm glad I got this accomplished in one night. This will be a huge change for the better.
In response to Dan's comments--one day's win is not a statement about how that day compares to the ideal day. It has more to do with what I did given what I had to work with. Like I said in my comments earlier, even if I grant myself too liberal of an excuse, that won't necessarily result in a loss. It's more an issue of taking each moment, trying to figure out what is the best thing, if I can't figure out what the best thing is, then trying to avoid doing obviously bad things, and then at the end of the day roughly balancing the amount of times I acted well and the amount of times I acted poorly. And different things are weighted differently. Like good posture is virtuous, but even if I have terrible posture all day, that's not necessarily a loss. It's like a touchdown for the opposing team, but I could still win. Not doing my morning pages, at least according to my latest scheme, is like throwing 4 INTs in a row--it's fucking over. I wanted an overall "yes" or "no" because I want my system to offer me flexibility. Also, I still have that part of me that wants to be perfect. I can appease that part by giving myself a win. Even though my rational mind knows that rarely will it happen that a win actually corresponds to a perfect day, my perfectionist mind just sees the win and is content. It thinks I did perfect for the day, because there are only two options and no subcategories. It's like, the Eagles can fuck up, yet still make some huge plays and pull out the win, and then once the game ends, all that's left is the win or the loss. They need not carry the thoughts and pains of those mistakes into the next game, although from a strategic standpoint you want to study them. Damn, I'm so tired right now. I'm just going to go to bed. My apologies if this is just garbled horse-shit.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
The philosophy is cool for your ultimate goal. For me, however, the little things are very important. I don't want to go to an important conference in Philadelphia concerning the environment and start touching my face with a hunched back -- it's fucking gruesome when I see other people doing that. I need to see my shortcomings and try to work on them so I can become all that I can be. The good thing about your system is that you can be consistent, whereas my system is like a rollercoaster in hell.
By the way, in our business plan we are technically on point. February 1 was the checkpoint for having completed the Framework and also my app. I believe both of those are basically done. Mid-February is the next checkpoint which is basically data collection features. Beginning of March we intend on starting to collect. Mid-March we hope to have the basic 3 modules available for use. I don't think your proposal is unreasonable, because things are always delayed (but we are suprisingly in good shape now, actually).
I still am not sure what to offer you, but I'll think about it some more this weekend.
Post a Comment