New York Recap Written a Few Days Ago:
I just got back from a weekend in New York. On Friday we met Claire in The East Village for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. While the food was decent, the Vietnamese coffee was excellent.
We stayed at Claire's overnight, and the next day I met up in Brooklyn with Nunu from my summer program. We walked over the Brooklyn Bridge to Manhattan, hung out in Chinatown, ate at a vegetarian restaurant, got bubble tea, walked to Midtown, and checked out Bryant Park. The vegetarian restaurant was good, but not any better than the ones at home.
After saying goodbye to Nunu, I walked back to The East Village, visited the Strand, which was impressive in its inventory size but ironically didn't have the book I was looking for (Flaubert's L'Education Sentimentale in French), and hung out in Tompkins Park and watched skateboarders (all of whom except 1 were mediocre). From there I walked to Klong (Thai restaurant) to meet Eva, Claire, Hadar, and Sheldon.
Dinner at Klong was great--it was one of the best Thai restaurants I've ever been to. Afterward we took a cab to Hadar and Sheldon's place. It was nice to finally meet them.
On Sunday, Eva, Claire, and I visited Columbia, and ate at this cafe by campus for breakfast. Afterward we took the subway to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, which was awesome.
After The Gardens, I walked to Avenue J to try the famous Di Fara's pizza. The wait time for a slice was ridiculous (45 minutes), but the wait and the price notwithstanding, it completely blew my mind. It's easily in the category of Tacconelli's, i.e., pizzas seemingly handed down from the heavens.
After pizza I took the train back into Manhattan, walked around the Lower East Side, and got on the bus to come home.
The city itself impressed me greatly on this visit. First of all was the impression of vibrancy. Countless streets were packed, seemingly 24 hours a day. It felt like a continuous party everywhere.
Next was the incredible ethnic diversity. The melting pot moniker is aptly given to New York. It was like taking a bunch of shops, faces, and street carts from every nation on earth, shaking them together, and tossing them out in random, dense sprawl. The intensity and variety of social stimulation was wonderful.
From a planning and design perspective, I noticed a couple striking things on my trip. First, and given street will be much wider than any given street in Philadelphia, often with "malls" constructed down the center, consisting of trees, gravel paths, benches, and chess tables. The effect that these streets create is one of a grandiose place, and I like it.
Next, the buildings are taller on average than in most other places. I'm not talking about the skyscrapers, because they aren't necessarily taller than other cities' skyscrapers, and not more impressive either (the skyline is nice, but it doesn't blow me away). No I'm referring to the brick apartment buildings that line seemingly every street in the city. Their size is impressive, again creating a feeling of the grandiose and perhaps also the cosmopolitan.
Third, fire escapes are common everywhere, mainly on the aforementioned apartment buildings. In Philadelphia they almost always appear at the back of the buildings, leading into an alley. In New York they are on the front. This doesn't strike me as positive or negative, just different.
Fourth, the city seems to have far fewer trees on the sidewalks than other cities, like Philadelphia. This is a negative, in my opinion, but it didn't bother me as much as I would have expected it to. I should mention though, I was impressed by the multitude and quality of the small and medium sized parks throughout the city.
Fifth, certain parts of the city, like the Upper West Side, feature noticeable topographical variation, which I like. It wasn't San Francisco, but the sloping streets by the Hudson provided lovely visual variation to the cityscape.
One final comment--I don't see why people compare Brooklyn with Philadelphia. Maybe the similarities these comparisons reference are demographic or sociological--perhaps--but visually, they don't look similar to me. Boston and Philadelphia look visually similar to me, but not Brooklyn and Philadelphia.

Items Added to Task List: 1--"AAA Batteries"
Items Removed From Task List: 1--"Scouring Pads"
Active Items Remaining: 38
Items Added to Routines: 1--"Check Argentina Ticket Pricing"

Summary of Week: First of all, I had a complete week in terms of routine tasks. This means I worked out 6/7 days, read for at least 1/2 hour each day, kept on top of cooking and cleaning, did 1 lesson of French, worked all my hours, got good sleep, and practiced good hygiene. From now on, unless otherwise stated, the completion of those types of things will be assumed, and I'll only address them when there is a change in the program (for example, switching French programs).
In terms of advancement, the creation of the summer budget was the biggest event. This not only laid out guidelines governing the expenditure of money, but it also more or less laid out the program for the summer's activities. In other words, if I put something into the budget, that means it's concrete now and will be much more likely to happen. New York, Annapolis, Pittsburgh, and Argentina all went into the budget, and I made headway with all four in terms of logistical planning.
Other advancements included planning a night out with Mom at the orchestra in June and starting and nearly finishing Les Femmes Françaises Ne Grossissent Pas. I got a good start on I Claudius on audio book as well. I also chipped away at several long-standing items on my task list. I won't mention them all here, but I predict that I will eliminating items much more rapidly in the coming weeks.
In terms of effectiveness, I think the week was good overall. I'm just learning to trust my system, and it will take time to make it habitual. As always, anxiety is a major obstacle, but toward the end of the week this was much better as I came to trust the effectiveness of the system (and it was indeed effective!).

Plan for next week: Not only do I want to execute my program faithfully, or even calmly--I want to execute with vigor. I should seize the opportunity to work and strive for virtue, not drag myself through it.
In terms of specific advancement goals, I want to move ahead on the administrative work with MIT as much as I can. I want to develop my CV and send that out. Also, I want to begin getting information about the classes I can test out of and what books/resources I can use to study for that.
Aside from MIT, I want to get the ball rolling on the medical and dental stuff. I already started with the dental. Medical might not be possible until my new insurance takes effective, though that shouldn't be long now.
Finally, at the end of the week Eva and I are going up to New York, and I'm looking forward to making that as fun as possible.

Summary of the day: I taught my class (which went well), prepared for future classes for an hour, listened to my French lesson, planned my meals for next week, made plans for visiting a dentist, made an initial attempt at purchasing plane tickets for Argentina, read for 1/2 hour, went to Trader Joe's, and watched the Wire with Eva.

Plan for Tomorrow: In addition to normal activities, check up on Penn move out day, arrange second Philly Car Share reservation for orchestra night, call about health insurance, work through MIT admin materials as far as possible, and send CV for editing.

Great show on hour 2 of Radio Times today about cognitive dissonance and justifying one's actions. Feedback systems are critical. Whether it be the idea that we must continually extract ourselves from our interior psychic space by immersing ourselves in the world, that we are best off if we can absorb stimuli from as diverse a set of sources as possible, or that we are better off in the long run if we find people who can give us constructive feedback about ourselves. As painful as it can be, honest feedback--both from within and without--is essential. Without it, you manage your soul like the Soviet Union, attempting to exert absolute control and authority over everything, living a delusion of grandeur while your reality is grim and horrible. The reference to Lao Tzu in the program was also sweet.
Unfiltered copy of notes:
Sat after Eva leaves for work:
Finish French
4 Hours Kaplan
Clean Bathroom
Exercise
½ Hour reading

Sun:
Grocery planning and shopping for next week
Look up healthcare details about start date again
Find dentist
Make 2nd Car Share Reservation for Mom
Purchase Argentina Plane Ticket

Items Added to Active Task List: 1--"Remind..."
Items Removed From Task List: 3--"Rat Traps", "SJC Alumni Contribution", "Budget"
Items Remaining: 35

Summary: I met the rodent exterminator, went to the DMV with Eva, checked out the lobby of the PSFS Building, had cappuccinos, filled out paperwork for MIT loans, did calisthenics and went for a run on the Schuylkill Banks Trail, made dinner and soup stock for later, read a bit, finished making the budget covering the time between now and the Massachusetts move, and filled out my SJC alum contribution form.
Planning the budget was probably the biggest development in the last few days. The outlook is good. There are a few trips on the horizon--I'm meeting Eva in Argentina at the end of June, going to Pittsburgh, going to New York, going to Annapolis, and a few other things. I made sure to apportion liberal amounts for moving expenses because I want to do this in a comfortable and reasonably ordered fashion, unlike any other time we've ever moved.
Here's a passage from a book I'm reading now that I think contains a lot of wisdom: "Complete control of the mind over the body is undesirable; it suggests a lack of openness to the spontaneous delights of the senses". I would extend this idea beyond sensation. There is a tricky balance between structure and spontaneity. Rules, strategies, and plans are always going to be better than some alternatives and worse than other alternatives. To be completely unstructured and lacking in willpower would be worse than having a decent plan and executing it, but the further entrenched you get in your plan, the less likely it is that you'll discover whatever better alternatives might be out there. I reflected on my 3 part model that I described a while ago--step 1, report honestly what happens, step 2, analyze the events, judge them, and bring them to bare on developing a strategy and agenda for the future, step 3, execute the plan, being open to on-the-fly adjustments without being weak-willed--and I still think the model is a good one. It allows for changes in approach, both when planning for the long-term and in individual moments. It requires us to be honest with ourselves. And it allows us to have structure and foundation.

Plan for Tomorrow: Other than working on Kaplan and visiting the night class, I want to check out that program Dan sent, get some audio books from the library, and plan the Orchestra/dinner excursion for my mom.

Active Items Added to Task List: 1--"Photograph bureau and go to antique appraiser"
Items Removed From Task List: 3--"Dental floss for shop", "Call Dad to remind him...", "Call Mom-Mom about Bureau"
Active Items Remaining: 36

Summary: Had a lovely albeit rushed breakfast and then went in to teach my class. The session went well. It's a small class, which is nice in a way. Later I ran some errands, did laundry, started an e-mail to Nutter and the Streets Department about my volunteering idea, planned meals, made a shopping list for next week, went out to dinner at Tiffin for Mother's Day (which was lovely), went shopping, finished my e-mail, and later I'll watch the Wire with Eva and spend 30 minutes reading.

Plan for tomorrow: Tomorrow I want to make a budget, work on Kaplan, call the landlords about logistics, figure out my contribution to the SJC alumni fund and general fund drive, audit the Kaplan class, and otherwise live a normal healthy routine.

Active Items Added to Task List: 4--"Rat Traps", "Orchestra for Mom", "Dental Floss for Shop", "Check Pay for Tomorrow"
Inactive Items Added to Task List: 1--"Short Story #2"
Items Removed From Task List: 0
Active Items Remaining: 38

Summary of the day: I worked until about 7, finished reading the Beautiful and the Damned, ate dinner with my dad at Tamarind, dealt with some administrative tasks, and later I might go dancing with Eva and some friends.

Comments: I came up with a plan for volunteering. I want to clean up the areas next to the Amtrak tracks. They give a terrible impression of the city. For people passing through on a regular basis via rail, I imagine that the sites along the tracks discourages further exploration into the city. This is our face to the world in many respects, and it happens to be one of our worst parts. I'm personally appalled by the sites along the tracks whenever I travel on Amtrak.
Certainly I could pick up garbage, but maybe I could even remove graffiti or help demolish old structures. I'm going to write to a couple different people in the city government about my idea to get feedback and possible support.
Other than thinking about volunteering, I finished the Beautiful and the Damned. Much of the writing was brilliant. It makes me want to go back and re-read the Great Gatsby. I wasn't analyzing it (in the HTRAB sense), so I'm not going to get into it too much. The characters were compelling. It got pretty emo, but not as emo as Jude the Obscure. Fitzgerald depicted Anthony's depravity in a much less corny way than Hardy did Jude's, in my opinion. I loved the two friends--Richard and Maury. Apparently there's a movie version of the book by an Australian director that has either been released recently or will be released soon. I'd be curious to see it, and specifically to see who plays Gloria.

Plan for tomorrow: At 1 I have my class, which goes until 3:30. I'll probably wake up late and spend the morning preparing for that. At 6:30 we're going to Tiffin for Mother's Day. Between events, I'll probably help plan food for next week and maybe read. Any extra time I have at the end of the day I'll use to compose correspondences about my volunteering idea.

Tasks Added: 3--"Pick up facewash, soap, and shampoo", "Research funding options for grad school", "Econ, stat, and excel study"
Tasks Removed: 1--"Look into switching energy companies"
Tasks Moved to Inactive: 3--"Find accountant/financial adviser", "How To Read A Book Lam Sheet", "Investing"
Current Active Tasks: 39

Summary: Worked, then went to Trenton to see Lazlo. We had some awesome tomato pies from Delorenzo's. I was solidly disciplined, but I could still do better. Radio Times had a great program on cognitive science. I also got into The Beautiful and the Damned, which seems great so far.

Plan for tomorrow: Go to Rittenhouse Row Festival tomorrow afternoon and then work on Kaplan all night until Eva gets home.

Current Active Items on Task List: 50
Items Removed Today: "Check Kaplan Hours/Direct Deposit Amounts"
Items Added Today: "Reply about availability to proctor exams", "Plan NY trip", "Plan Pittsburgh Trip", "Plan Annapolis Trip", "Figure out feasibility of Israel/Argentina trip", "Research past years' IAP".

Summary: Our new sink, cabinets, and dishwasher were being installed from the morning until the mid-afternoon, during which time there wasn't any water in the apartment, so I couldn't shower, shave, make food/coffee, or get a glass of water. Not having these things emphasized how important they are--I basically felt gross without the first two and deprived without the second two.
The only significant accomplishment today was submitting my application for health care through Kaplan. I haven't had insurance in nearly 3 years, and it's good that it's finally being taken care of.
Later tonight Dan and I have plans to set up my computer for GG data collection.

Plan for tomorrow: Kaplan, exercise, meal planning, reply about availability to proctor exams, audit Kaplan class at 6pm, begin the process of investigating AIP and haircut.

Plan for the Week: It’s been a while since I’ve gone a full week with a comprehensively healthy routine. This means full nights of sleep, nutritious meals that are primarily home-cooked, staying on top of day-to-day cleaning and administration, and substantial physical exercise. This is what I’m aiming for next week.
By the time I start school again in the fall, I want to be as habituated as possible to healthy living, so renewing my efforts now are an attempt to start cultivating those habits.
One aspect of healthy living that I want to improve is my community service. I wrote about this before, but I never committed to a program. This week I want to try again. Other than laziness, my biggest barrier in accomplishing that goal is that I get stuck trying to find the activity that’s maximally productive in terms of its contribution to society. That probably sounds silly, and it is silly after a certain point. Of course I don’t want to waste time, but it’s more important that I get out and do something for a few hours each week, even if it doesn’t match my ideal concept of maximum service contribution. And indeed, community service is in large part about the sense of good that one experiences simply from helping in some way, regardless of the specific contribution.
One more comment about “healthy living”. I’ve been thinking about the busy nature of modern life and the multitude of information that surrounds us. It seems to me that there is only so much a person is capable of, in terms of input/output. For example, sometimes I see people in cafes or university lounges with books beside them, a laptop in front of them (on which they are browsing the internet and using IM), a TV broadcasting somewhere in the background, people moving and chatting around them, and sometimes they are listening to music on top of all that. Such a person cannot possibly be engaged in any one of his tasks in a serious way. This seems to be common in our society. There are effectively infinite sources of stimulation and information, but do we give them the attention to digest them properly? Contemplation is a verb that seems lacking in our contemporary vocabulary.
Because of the mismatch between the quantity of information accessible to us and our capabilities, I think it’s important that we limit ourselves. For example, I feel anxious whenever I walk into a bookstore and look at the newly released titles. My desire is to read and master all of them. This desire is fed by the respect that we have for quantity, as in “I read 4 books this month as opposed to 3 books last month, so this was a better month.” Or, more to the point, if you gave the average person the option between reading 10,000 good books at an average-to-poor level of comprehension in his lifetime, or reading 5 great books at incredible depth, wouldn’t most people choose the former? Even if they say they would choose the latter, don’t most of us choose the former with our actions?
I’m not arguing for any specific reading quotas or restrictions, but I want to increase my awareness of my limits and the requirements for time spent meaningfully. This means a general trend toward doing less at a higher level of quality. I guess “inspectional reading” is meant to allow the reader to browse the sea of information to filter out things worth reading at a greater level of depth, so one solution is to continue practicing that skill. Regardless, I want to be aware of this issue.

Plan for Tomorrow: Tomorrow I’m going to let myself get up naturally, meaning without an alarm clock. I’ve deprived myself of sleep for the last three nights, and I need a night to catch up. After waking up and getting ready for the day, I want to work on Kaplan, exercise, make a plan for meals this week, go grocery shopping, and spend one hour looking at health insurance plans.

I got back from Minneapolis today. I appreciate Jewish traditions--the ceders were great. It was nice to see Eva's family again, and I hung out with Lila, whom I haven't seen in years, and that was also nice.
On Monday, Eva, Max, and I drove around Minneapolis looking at architecture. We went to the Basilica of St. Mary, City Hall, the downtown area, the Weisman, and the Guthrie. I'm noticing a trend in my architecture tastes--classical and Gothic buildings excite me with their surfaces, materials, and ornamentation, yet bore me with their use of space. On the other hand, modern buildings that I like tend to excite me with their use of space and the experience of the user from within the building but make me cringe with their materials and overall appearance from the outside. The Basilica and the Guthrie fit that pattern exactly.
Once I got back I voted, worked out, cleaned a bit, and went out with my dad, Mike, and his girlfriend to Tiffin. That place is incredible; I wish I had discovered it earlier. Afterward we stopped at Azure and caught the dramatic finish to the Flyer's Game 7 win over Washington.
Tomorrow after breakfast I am going to make a plan for the rest of the day as well as the rest of the week. My tasks will probably be administrative tomorrow.

Items Removed From Task List: 0
Items Added to Task List: 0
Items Currently On Task List: 29

Summary: I got up a little later than I wanted to, meaning I slept beyond 8 hours. I slacked off a bit in the morning, but I got on track eventually and spent time working on Kaplan. In the evening I gave my class, and after writing this I'm going to do a bunch of dishes.

Comments: Like I did with breakfast, I'm timing how long it takes me to blog at a comfortable yet vigorous pace. This test will give me a more realistic picture of the time requirements of this activity.
I was dragging my feet a little this morning, and I'm sure part of that had to do with my breakfast, which was kind of half-assed. I only ate my fruit and cereal, but not my egg or my yogurt. The importance of eating a complete, healthy breakfast in order to achieve my work goals cannot be understated.
I reflected about this later while I was walking to Penn (not breakfast specifically, but about energy). There are some exertions that demand rest. Physical exertion is one such type--you can only push your body so hard before you collapse. I think there's also a type of mental exertion that has concrete limits. Doing focused mental work can sometimes bring me a state in which I can no longer continue thinking clearly; it demands that I cease my activity for a time. What I was wondering about was, how many types of exertion like this are there? Is there a kind of "motivational exertion" that falls into this category? Suppose you exerted yourself physically for a while, then switched to a mental task, and then switched back to a physical task, would it be possible to continue this pattern indefinitely, provided that neither type of energy were ever brought to the point of exhaustion? In the past I have said no, but I am willing to consider that you might be able to, provided that you maintain the right attitude. If you strongly and continuously resent your activities, I doubt that you could sustain them indefinitely. I'm just going to keep this in mind for a while and see what information my future experiences can bring to bear on the problem.

Plan for Tomorrow: Alternate between dishes and Kaplan, with an exercise session thrown in. I will call my contact at Penn again tomorrow (he didn't answer tonight), so that will enable me to eliminate one item from my task list. Raffe is coming over later, so I need to do some work to prepare for that. Also, if I have time, I would like to do some French.

***It took me 15 minutes to write this blog entry. I think 15 minutes is a manageable length of time. Now let me see if I can be satisfied checking my e-mail and reading blogs/message boards within another 15 minute span of time. ***

Items Removed From Task List: 0
Items Added to Task List: 2 "Call ___ at Penn", "Figure out health insurance from Kaplan"
Items Currently On Task List: 29

Summary: Visited Penn and worked on Kaplan. Great experience at Penn. No worries about excessive focus on theory or design. The program was balanced and just seems awesome overall. Talked to a prof and a few students. Sat in on 2 classes. Spent time in 1st year workshops coordinated through WRT--most if not all were real life projects (hence real life clients) in the Philadelphia region. And finally, I had another killer vegetarian sandwich from the Magic Carpet lunch truck
I want to limit my internet time at night. I need to employ my inspectional reading skills and go quickly. E-mails/blogs/news can take up so much time, and the value can often be pretty low, in my opinion. I'm aiming for 1/2 hour. Tonight will be more like 40 minutes because of high e-mail volume. What should I do? I decided that I will never simply ignore someone's email, so I need enough time to open, read, and respond to each, on a basic level.

Plan for tomorrow: Kaplan prep and then class at night. Dishes + call Penn student afterward if there's time.

Items Removed From Task List: 0
Items Added to Task List: 0
Items Currently On Task List: 27

Comments: I had a great weekend in New York with Raffe. We saw him play at a venue in Brooklyn, along with some other acts. The place was crazy. It was an old warehouse in Flushing, with little spaces and rooms partitioned off everywhere. It was like the imagined Atheneum, except more punk rock. The diversity of the crowd was amazing. People were streaming in and out constantly. It was a great experience.
This morning we hung out at his friend Tim's house in Jersey City. We walked around the waterfront later and ate at a Mexican restaurant. Apparently Jarritos make a Jamaica flavor. It was good to see Raffe and his family again.

Plan for Tomorrow: Penn visit in the morning and Kaplan at night.

Items Removed From Task List: 1 "Write Thank You Letter to Pat Burland"
Items Added To Task List: 0
Items Transferred To Inactive: 1 "Novel"
Items on Task List: 27

Comments: I have been distinguishing between active and inactive tasks for a while now. Active tasks are ones that I could realistically accomplish in short order or longer ones that I am actively working on. Inactive comprises the ones that I'm not working on.
I didn't get up early today, I don't know why. I got up at 10, meaning I got 10 hours of sleep. Sleep is a mystery to me. It's true that I was in short-term sleep debt from earlier this week, so maybe I'm making up for it now. I want to have a week or two when I eat well, exercise, and try to get 8 hours of sleep per night and see if I can maintain that and not feel tired during the day. So tonight, when I go to bed, I'll set my alarm for 8.5 hours from that point (remember, my 1/2 hour buffer time for the time it actually takes to fall asleep).
I had my phone conversation, and though it was productive overall, I felt like I was speaking awkwardly. Yesterday in class I felt like I was eloquent and that the words were flowing, but this morning I was a bumbling idiot.
I worked on Kaplan for a while, but not as much as I would have liked to. At 4 I exercised, and afterwards I helped Eva get ready for dinner, and that was great. I also worked on French a little and looked into my tax rebate. I'll need to check back in a few days to confirm that they went through. Finally, I spent a little bit of time on the dentist thing, but I'll need to return to that next week.

Plan for Tomorrow: Exercise, clean up, French, and Kaplan, if there's any time left over (which they probably won't be). At 1 or a little before, I need to head over to 30th Street Station, where I'll take the R7 to meet Raffe, and from there we'll head up to New York for his friend's party.

Items on Task List: 29

Comments: I got up later than I wanted to, around 9am. However, once I got up, I was productive. I ate a solid breakfast then started rehearsing my Kaplan lesson. Around 2 I walked over to the Penn Center and picked up my class packet, went over to my class location on the Penn campus, continued rehearsing, met Eva for a snack and coffee, taught my class, and came home to check e-mail and get ready for bed.
Tonight was my first real class. It was fun but tiring. I went a little overtime, but part of that was because the room scheduling was messed up, and we couldn't start on time. It would be great to get to the point where I know the material so well that I can just get up and teach and not worry about rehearsing or prepping. But it went well overall.

Plan for Tomorrow: First of all, I want to get up earlier, more like 8am. Next, I want to prepare a list of questions to ask my contact at the planning firm, and write thank you letters after it's over. Tomorrow I have a phone interview scheduled to get advice about grad school and the planning field in general. After that's over, I will work on Kaplan until about 4, at which time I will work out, and then help Eva with dinner. In the evening I will do a little bit of French, confirm my tax rebates, and research a dentist.

Items on Task List: 27

Summary: I worked on my budget, planned some dishes to cook for next week, made a grocery list, mailed out some letters, did laundry, worked out, cleaned up from dinner, hung out with Eva, did some logistical planning for upcoming visits and trips, and worked on my HTRAB worksheets for 30 minutes (I finished the Inspectional Reading check-list).
I was irritable most of the day, though in the last hour or so I've felt all right. The work-out felt very strenuous.

Plan for Tomorrow: There are a couple of high priority things that need to happen. First, I need to contact the planning firm to see if I can set up a time to visit them. Second, I need to start scheduling visits to Penn. Third, I need to find a dentist. I'll take care of 1 and 2 right away after breakfast tomorrow. 3 might wait until later in the day or even Tuesday, depending on how much other work I get done. I still need to work my normal hours for Kaplan tomorrow.
Additionally, I plan to exercise, go food shopping when Eva gets home, make a deposit at the bank, and finish my budget. That should be more than enough for one day.

Goals for the Coming Week: On a basic level, I want to complete an entire week with a disciplined and healthy routine. That means going to bed at a reasonable hour (and waking up early), staying within my dietary constraints, exercising, mostly eating and cooking homemade meals from whole ingredients, hygiene, and not falling behind on any cleaning. Just doing this will be huge and will give me some positive momentum.
Speaking of routine activities, I would like to do 2 French lessons next week since I skipped one this week, but I'm not going to stress about it too much.
Next, I need to start thinking hard about my grad school options. I should hear back from Berkeley this week, but the main thing I want to do is meet with some planners in the private sector, discuss my options with them, and attend some Penn classes and studios. In two weeks I'll be at the MIT open house, and I'll need to come to a decision soon after that. That means my Penn visits need to happen mostly this week and next.
I don't plan on working on my book until I make a decision about school. One thing at a time.
Another thing I want to accomplish next week is finding a place to volunteer. I slacked off for the most part this weekend and didn't look into it, so that's on the agenda for next week. Other items from the task list that realistically can be tackled next week include buying a Britta filter and calling about Penn's anxiety disorder study. I'm also going to try to schedule a painting session (hopefully the final one) with Josh next weekend.

Plan after work today: I want to start volunteering. I don't know what I want to do yet, so tonight I plan to look into different options. Some might argue, as Dan has argued in the past, that it's better to work toward large-scale, systematic change, and that it's a waste of time to bother with small acts aimed at improving the community. I have three answers to that argument:
1) Systematic change is neither guaranteed, nor is it guaranteed to produce positive effects; however, small acts are easily achieved and in many cases manifestly positive. Furthermore, the sum of a lifetime of small acts is considerable and maybe even comparable to a single act of implementing large scale change.
2) I don't think the time investment that I'm considering--a few hours per week--is large enough to undermine my efforts for broader action. Not to mention the fact that I'm wasting a lot of my time right now anyway, and I might as well use it one something good. My availability may change, but right now, the time is there.
3) There is a personal benefit to volunteering. It is immediately rewarding, and it helps maintain humility. In a way, it seems like a spiritual practice, something necessary to maintain the health of the soul. I don't want to find myself at next year's Yom Kippur service once again lamenting my lack of contribution to the community.
In addition to my volunteering research, I plan to spend time with Eva, work on my HTRAB worksheet for at least 30 minutes, spend some time on French, and RSVP about Penn's open house.

Three Principles

1. The reckoner: Honest and frequent self-evaluation.
2. The thinker: Define values, set goals, and develop plans using clear and rational deliberation.
3. The agent: Never act the worse when you know better--when the choice is clear, you must submit to its authority. Do not relinquish the will to base impulses.

Items Added to Task List: 0
Items Removed from Task List: 0
Items Remaining: 34

Items Added to Task List: 0
Items Removed from Task List: 1--“Create Sleep Journal”
Items Remaining: 34

Summary: I got up shamefully late, but I didn’t give up because of it. I ate a healthy breakfast and got ready for the day, worked on Kaplan, cleaned my coat, picked up documents at the Kaplan center, followed up with our plumber, exercised, wrote some e-mails, went to Cost Plus with Eva and picked up some things for the house, made my sleep journal, and worked on my French lessons.
My sleep journal is small black book I’m going to keep next to my bed. Each night and on the following morning I’m going to make notes on the day's caffeine consumption, exercise, diet, stress level, bed time, wake up time, quality of sleep, and total hours slept. If anyone can suggest other variables, please do so. Eventually I want to experiment with my sleep scientifically, so that I change only one variable while leaving the others the same and seeing how that affects things. Even if I’m not experimenting, I think the information may still provide insights. So for tonight I recorded that I had no caffeine, I exercised, I had a healthy diet, and a high level of stress (anytime I behave with discipline I feel stressed out). When I go to bed I’ll record my bed time, and when I wake up I’ll record the time I wake up. For tomorrow, I’m going to let myself wake up naturally. I’ll probably end up sleeping 12 hours, which is typical if I don’t limit myself.
Also, since I wasn't posting the day I got the news, I'll post it now: I got into MIT.

Plan for Tomorrow: I’m falling behind my schedule for the Kaplan prep, so other than essential activities, I need to work on that. It’s Josh’s birthday, and going to his party is one of those essential activities. Also, I plan to workout, clean the bathroom, shop for a present, and possibly work on French if I need a break from Kaplan.

*Post for 3/6*
I can't access my task list right now, so I can't recap that.

Summary: I worked the entire day starting at 9:20. I missed the trolley that would have gotten me here by 9:00, which was frustrating. This was because I stopped at a convenience store on my way to the Green Line and lost a few minutes. If I walk directly to the subway, I can leave at 7:45, but any diversions must be accounted for and time added accordingly. My not doing this was because of carelessness (I vaguely had the notion that I could hurry and still get everything done within my time frame).

Plan for tomorrow: I will sleep now for 8 hours, get up and eat a healthy breakfast, and then head back. I will work on Kaplan stuff until Eva gets home. The most immediate task is to schedule a session 6 for next week. After Eva gets home, we'll go to the Flower Show, and later Alex and Rachel are coming over. We don't know if they'll be here for dinner. I also plan to exercise and eliminate at least one small item on my task list.

Items Added to Task List: 1--“Minneapolis Plane Ticket”
Items Removed from Task List: 1--“Temple Info Sheet”
Items Remaining: 36 (I counted incorrectly yesterday)

Summary: I got into Penn. That was the exciting news of the day. Other than that, my day was somewhat productive, though I got up late because I’ve been sick the last two days.

Plan for tomorrow: Get up at 8, work from 9-5 on Kaplan stuff, exercise at 5, clean up in the kitchen, prepare food for Thursday, purchase Minneapolis plane ticket, and possibly work on my HTRAB guide.

Items Added to Task List: 1--"Set-up recycling"
Items Removed from Task List: 0
Items Remaining: 37

Plan for tomorrow: Work for Kaplan for at least 8 hours, which will include calling up HR rep about healthcare, taking training update on-line, and preparing my TEL. Call about getting a haircut. Exercising. Finishing my dish clean-up and planning a meal for Wednesday. Send out Temple information sheet.

Items Added to Task List: 1--"Temple Info Sheet"
Items Removed from Task List: 0
Items Remaining: 39

Comments: I got up late. I need to treat my own schedules as seriously as if they involved others or as if my job depended on it. Tomorrow I am determined to get up promptly. At least I stayed up late reading What is the What, so I didn't waste my time.
My work-out was furious and excellent today. I did some parkour tricks between my apartment and park and back. Dinner at La Fontana Della Citta was glorious. Now I'm going to work on my HTRAB sheets for a bit.

Plan for tomorrow: Work from 9-5, exercise from 5-5:30, work a bit more on Kaplan after exercising, eat dinner, and then after dinner to clean the bathroom, and knock out several of my small items on the to-do list.

Items Added to Task List: 1--"Read and respond to Pennfuture e-mail"
Items Removed from Task List: 0
Items Remaining: 38

Summary: I stuck to my schedule, although I didn't finish my letter; dinner took longer than expected, and I got a little lax just now as I was checking my e-mail First of all, with dinner--Dan will love this--I spent 3 hours just cooking it. Altogether it was a 4 hour affair. A lot of it was because of my inexperience. For one thing, I spent nearly 1 hour messing with the tofu because I didn't prepare properly. You're supposed to cut it before freezing it and then thaw it out before using it, and then dry it. I froze it right in the package, and only took it out 1/2 hour before I wanted to cook. So when I pulled it out, I had to melt the ice, and then draining it took forever. The end results were mostly good. I made broiled tofu with a Thai coconut curry marinade and leeks with a mustard vinaigrette.
It's important not to be rushed or become overwhelmed during the day. It wastes energy. To remedy this, I implemented the task list system to get things out of my head and on paper, if they fall out of the 5 minute threshold. Also, I have been trying to give each task enough time to complete it comfortably. That doesn't mean I go slow--my ideal pace is vigorous yet calm. It's important to be honest about the time requirements of things. Getting up, getting ready for the day, and eating breakfast takes me an hour almost exactly, for example. Posting and e-mail takes at least 20 minutes, although I started messing around while I was checking my e-mail tonight, so I couldn't properly test its time requirement.

Plan for tomorrow: Get up at 8, start working at 9, work until 5, work-out from 5-5:30, go out to dinner with Eva's acquaintances, continue work on my letter, read and respond to the latest Pennfuture e-mail, and do my normal bed time routine. Extra time will be used for reading, which has been lacking lately.

Items Added to Task List: 1
Items Removed from Task List: 0
Items Remaining: 37

Comments: I'm not worried about my task list growth--I'm working efficiently (plus not all tasks require equal investments of time, so 1 completion could equal the resources of 5 new added tasks).
Today was tiring, and time boundaries got stretched by unforeseen events. Like, I set aside about 15 minutes for e-mails and posting, but then my sister emailed me something to proof read, and then Eva started laundry but the drier was broke, but she was doing dishes, so I ended up bringing up the laundry and hanging it all over the apartment. Now it's 11:39, and I wanted to be asleep by 11:00. I still haven't read, and I want to. I didn't get to read last night.
How can I change to follow my time boundaries more closely? First of all, I need to recognize that if I want to eat at 7, I need to start cooking at least by 5:30, if not earlier. I'm slow right now, since I'm a beginner, and that's just the way it is. Furthermore, I think going to bed at 10:30 is too early with Eva's schedule, so I will shift to 11:30 and get up at 8 (remember, 11:30 bedtime really means 12, since it takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep fully). I doubt I will be able to get more than 8 hours on a regular basis, to follow up on Dan's article. I'd like to, but even 8 is a lot. I also need to be more strict with the internet time. Whenever a task comes up during this time, if I can possibly avoid it, I should just add it to my task list and deal with it later. There is, however, the consideration of the 5 minute rule, that I've been working to incorporate into my routine. The 5 minute rule appeared in some business management magazine that I read a while ago, and it stipulates that any task that spontaneously arises that takes 5 minutes or less should be taken care of right then, when it comes up. If it takes more than 5 minutes, and it isn't an emergency, write it down and do it later. This is sensible, because not doing this would result in a backlog of little, annoying tasks in my task list. However, it seems that small things come up all the time. And sometimes a small thing seems small at first but then grows into a larger thing. I guess that's when you have to cut it off and write it onto the task list.

Plan for tomorrow: get up after 8 hours of when I go to bed, whenever that will be, work on Kaplan until 5, workout from 5-5:30, start making dinner, start eating by 7, write the letter for my sister, read e-mails + post in 20 minutes, read for 30 minutes, and go to bed. At first I wrote 15 minutes for posting and e-mailing, but that's completely unrealistic. Just to write this post took 15 minutes. I'll try 20. It would be discouraging to think that I need to spend 30 minutes or more doing internet stuff each night, though I guess Franklin spent a significant portion of his day reading and writing letter, if I remember correctly.

It was tough to wake up early, but I did it, and I hope that now I'll be back on a more respectable time-table. Soon I'll be going to bed.
Breakfast was good, although a bit slower than I wanted because I had to make my hard boiled eggs for the week. However, now the rest of my breakfasts should be a lot faster with less clean up. The coffee was invigorating, but it gave me the jitter.
In the morning I slogged through HR trainings and documents for Kaplan. Actually, that lasted until the early afternoon. I ate some vegetable goyoza from TJs for lunch. By the end of my 8 hour session, I was practicing some lesson pages.
After work I worked out at the Mark Ward playground. Last week was sloppy in terms of my diet and exercise, so I'm set back about a week or more in terms of my abilities (I'm heavier than I was last week, so I can't do as many pull-ups, for example). After working out, I switched into turbo mode to get ready for cooking.
Basically Eva and I decided that I'm going to make the majority of the meals for a while. We're doing this so I can improve my skills and get more accustomed to eating complete, healthy dinners. I designed dinners for the rest of the week, went shopping, and made the food for tonight. We had mixed greens with a mustard vinegarette, roasted butternut squash and green beans with beurre blanc sauce, raisin pine nut bread, and lemon pudding. I made the first two, and Eva made the second two. It turned out well. The sauce was awesome right when I finished, but then it started congealing, so I put it back on the heat, and then it separated. It was a bit of a debocle, but it still came out pretty well.
Now I'm exhausted and ready for bed. I want to read What is the What for at least 30 minutes.

Plan for tomorrow: have another good start, prep my lessons from 8-4, workout, clean the bathroom, deal with any mail, clean up in the kitchen, start dinner, then after dinner check e-mail, post, read, and go to bed.

I don't have my task list near me, so I can't report on the status of that.

Today I worked and started detoxing my body with more healthy eating. Tonight I'm eating dinner with my dad and another guy we know, then I'll either work on my HTRAB worksheets or read What is What.

Plan for tomorrow: Wake up at 7am and have a solid start. Begin preparing my Kaplan lessons at 8am. At 4 I will stop, go work out, plan a dinner, do some food shopping, do a little bit of miscellaneous work after dinner, and then read before going to bed.

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 2
Items Added To My Task List: 1
Items Remaining on My Task List: 32

Summary: I got my license, got some stuff for Valentine's day, filled out the FAFSA as far as I could (I need information from my work in Maryland), cleaned the apartment for a bit, and worked on Kaplan HR tasks. After that I started working on my HTRAB work-sheets.

Plan for tomorrow: Get up early and have a strong start to my day. Have coffee with Eva. Work on the FAFSA. Do a French lesson. Work on Kaplan HR stuff. Eliminate at least 1 item from my task list (FAFSA could be 1 if I finish it). Exercise. Start prepping my Kaplan lessons with time left-over.

I finished inspectionally reading Nietzsche's On the Advantage and Disadvantage of History for Life. My next reading project is to create HTRAB forms corresponding to the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th levels of reading. By form I mean a protocol with a list of tasks and questions demanded by each reading level. I want to get serious about reading deeply and with discipline.

Tomorrow's Plan: Get a PA license from the DMV, get stuff for Valentine's Day, fill out a FAFSA as far as I can, file my taxes if they're necessary for completing my FAFSA, clean the apartment, and, if time permits, work on Kaplan HR tasks.

For a moment, while I was in the Center City Penndot center, I got confused and thought I was at a Pakistani border checkpoint. Wow...had National Geographic seen that place, they definitely would not have named Philadelphia America's Next Great City.

Ibid

Today: Work. Tomorrow: Work.

Passed my training. Tomorrow work.

I'm very tired tonight. I didn't have a real day of rest yesterday, maybe that's the reason. This Kaplan prep stuff is also very draining. Tomorrow I'm going to prepare all day for Kaplan.

"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
--Mike Tyson

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 1
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 32
Hours Worked: 1.5
Total Hours Worked This Week: 65.5/60

Summary: I had a mostly relaxing day. Work-wise, I took care of my Kaplan business and finished my Penn app, which is great. Now all my applications are done. Leisure-wise, I went to Last Drop with Eva and picked up a chair and ottoman at Uhuru.

Week in Review: Overall, this was an excellent week. I performed well at my Kaplan trainings, completed my Penn application, and exercised diligently. I could tighten-up my discipline, but it was good.
Transitions are critical, as Dan has pointed out. I think imagining the next activity before ending the previous one helps. Also, going slowly and purposefully from task to task is important when you have a lot of little things to do. Like when I walk in and I have a bag to unpack, a call to make, a jacket to take off, dinner to start, etc. etc., I'll walk over to take off my bag, but then change directions and walk to the kitchen, then walk to the coat hanger and basically waste several minutes being indecisive. I need to calm down, do one thing, then another, and move purposefully.
Another thing is taking my non-essential limits seriously. Like, I would prefer to read for 30 minutes every night before going to bed, but some nights, when preparing for Kaplan, or writing my Penn application, I would allow myself to use that time for the primary task because I don't NEED to read for 30 minutes on that particular day. The end result is that I didn't read much this week, and I need to fix that next week.
Goals for next week:
1. Successfully complete Kaplan training
2. Read 30 minutes a day, minimum
3. Either stay the same or go down with my number of items on my task list.
4. Sharp, calm transitions

Schedule for Tomorrow:
Study Kaplan, drop hard copy documents off at Penn, get a magnet for the knife rack on the fridge, work-out for 30 minutes, and read for 30 minutes.

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 2
Items Remaining on My Task List: 33
Hours Worked: 13
Total Hours Worked This Week: 64/60

Summary: My effort at my training was great, and I did well as a result. Next Tuesday is my last session, and though it will be challenging, I am confident. The rest of the day I worked primarily on my Penn application.
I met some other traceurs in the park today, which was cool. Apparently there's a good parkour scene here, and they have meet-ups on Saturdays.

Plan for Tomorrow: I've already exceeded my hours, and unfortunately, I'll need to work yet more tomorrow. I need to pick up some stuff at Kaplan, send in my Penn application, do dishes, and possibly shop. I'm not going to watch the Super Bowl. If the Eagles aren't in it, I don't care about it. I'm going to use that time to read, and probably finish my Nietzche essay.

*Post for 2/1*

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 31
Hours Worked: 12
Total Hours Worked This Week: 51/60

Summary: Given the length of time that I worked on my Kaplan preparations, the focus I maintained was admirable. It was a good test of endurance. Tomorrow is a big day in my training. If I make the cut tomorrow, there's only one more day after that--Tuesday night. Tuesday night will be the toughest, but for now, I'm focusing on having a good performance tomorrow.
I heard back from Temple today. They want to offer a full scholarship and stipend. I'm extremely grateful for this offer. It really feels great to hear such news.

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 1
Items Remaining on My Task List: 31
Hours Worked: 10
Total Hours Worked This Week: 39/60

Critique: My French work on the trolley was admirable, albeit imperfect. I find it difficult to fully focus on Septa, but at least I was actively completing my exercises, and then, once I finished, I started working on conceptual charts to relate all the different verb systems.
My transitions could have been better. I feel anxious during my transitions, and this causes me to loose effectiveness. I felt a haze of sleepiness fall over me while I was listening to my French on CD, but I fought it enough to have a quality session. My energy picked up during my Kaplan exercises, and I think those were fruitful.
Transitioning from work to leisure time was another less than ideal transition. I was so wound up from work that I was in a bad mood socially, although I overcame this. Eva and I had a wonderful dinner at Lolita's as part of Center City Restaurant Week. The difference between good food and excellent, artisan food is really worth the price.

Goals for tomorrow: A full 8 hours of sleep, healthy breakfast/start of the day, and then Kaplan preparations all day, punctuated by 30 minutes of calisthenics in the park and dinner with Eva and Laslo.

*Post for Wednesday*

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 30
Hours Worked: 9
Total Hours Worked This Week: 29/60

Summary: I made good use of my time on Septa by studying the reading sections of my French lesson. Interesting show with the chair of Penn's City and Regional Planning department on Radio Times tonight. There are so many books I want to read.

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 2
Items Added To My Task List: 1
Items Remaining on My Task List: 30
Hours Worked: 14
Total Hours Worked This Week: 20/60

Comments: Got up, studied for my training session, worked out for 30 minutes, and studied some more. I studied and engaged in training for 13.5 hours today. Tomorrow I'm going to get up at 6:40 and be at the shop by 9:00, and then I'll work until 1am on Thursday. I'll listen to the Beautiful and the Damned on CD. I nearly finished the Nietzche essay last night.

Items Eliminated From My Task List: 2
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 31
Hours Worked: 6
Total Hours Worked This Week: 6/60

Comments: I got up an hour late, but once I did wake up, I was on-point. I worked out with extra vigor. I've been doing a parkour sequence for my workouts. Later in the evening, I witnessed a car crash, so I waited around for the cops so I could give a statement. This took up a lot of time and was unavoidable. Things were still good. I made an awesome dinner: mushroom ravioli with warm sage and garlic butter sauce, salad, and bread.

Tomorrow's schedule is straightforward: I'm going to finish breakfast by 8:30, then I'm going to work on my Kaplan stuff either until it's time for class or I finish, and if I finish early, then I'm going to work on my Penn application.

Plan for 1/28:
11-12: Wake up/get ready/eat
12-3:30: Kaplan Prep
3:30-5:00: Get stamps, shopping for clothes.
5-5:30: Drop letter in mail, workout.
5:30-dinner: Kaplan Prep
dinner-9: Kaplan Prep
After 9: Read, sleeping by 11

And just for the sake of transparency, here's my current scheme for food allowances:

maximum of 1 coffee drink per day
maximum of 1 alcoholic drink per day
maximum of 1 moderately sized dessert per day
minimum of 2 nutritious meals per day
maximum of 1 street food meal per day (hoagie, GG special, pizza, etc.), and if this 1 street meal isn't used, then the a third nutritious meal is required.

Outcome for 1/25: "Loss"
Record: 3-4
Streak: Lost 4
Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 33
Hours Worked: 8
Total Hours Worked This Week: 39.5/60

Summary: You must understand about these losses--they're still decent and most often productive days, it's just that they're lacking the discipline that I think should be standard by now.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 3-3
Streak: Lost 3
Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 33
Hours Worked: 10
Total Hours Worked This Week: 31.5/60

Outcome for 1/23: "Loss"
Record: 3-2
Streak: Lost 2
Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 33
Hours Worked: 5.5
Total Hours Worked This Week: 21.5/60

Summary: Undisciplined

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 4-1
Streak: Lost 1
Items Eliminated From My Task List: 0
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 33
Hours Worked: 6
Total Hours Worked This Week: 16/60

Summary: Had my first Kaplan training. It went well. There's a lot of stuff to learn, but I feel comfortable with the material, and I like explaining academic things, so it should be good. The class is small--4 other students, 1 teacher, and 1 teacher-in-training who is observing.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 3-0
Streak: Won 3
Items Eliminated From My Task List: 1
Items Added To My Task List: 0
Items Remaining on My Task List: 33

Summary: Reading On the Advantage and Disadvantage of History for Life last night was awesome. It was a rare instance in which thought directly translated into action. More specifically, this morning I lingered in bed, nearly falling back asleep, but then I remembered Nietzche's words, and I resolved not to be a soft, dillatente modern who abuses history. It propelled me directly out of bed and into a day packed full of activity.
I started hard-boiling eggs to eat in the morning to save time. Up until now, I had been requiring myself to eat an egg every morning for the protein content, but it took a while to fry it up and clean the pan. Now I can boil 5 eggs for the week, or however many I will require, store them in the fridge and voila...instant eggs for the week.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 2-0
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Went to Eva's work party at Spasso's, had a killer lunch, and met some cool people. I had roasted peppers, bread and olive oil, caprese salad, fine wine, roasted eggplant, pasta, eggplant parm, a cappuccino, and samples of various desserts. The meal was incredible. Afterward I talked to my mom, finished my grocery list, went shopping, and messed around online. I will probably read before going to bed.

Outcome for 1/19: Win
Record: 1-0
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I had pancakes and fruit with Eva for breakfast, studied a cookbook, planned meals for next week, started creating a grocery list and an equipment list, did some parkour conditioning and practiced some basic moves, went shopping for olive oil at Di Bruno Bros, picked up some wine at the state store, made a delicious dinner consisting of soup, salad, and carrots with honey mustard sauce, did dishes, cleaned the house a bit, and later I'm going to continue reading On the Advantage and Disadvantage of History for Life by Nietzche and then go to bed.

I woke up late, read a Vanity Fair article, wasted time on-line, prepared for my Kaplan audition, went to the audition, exercised, ate dinner, talked to Dan for a long time on the phone, and wrote out a comprehensive "to-do" list. After this I'm reading and going to bed.
I used my day decently, but not great. Waking up late was shameful, and I neither enjoyed nor was advanced by the VF article. I moved too slowly after dinner, and I probably spoke too much on the phone. At least I gave a good effort at the audition, exercised, and compiled my list. Those were virtuous things.
While compiling my list, I was running into the problem of trying to make reality fit a "system". This is a familiar theme in the virtue blog ring. Eventually I gave up on trying to classify each item and requiring each to have due dates. I just wrote them out as one long list, and ones that had real due dates I put due dates for, and the rest I'm just leaving for now. There were 35 items on the list. It feels overwhelming. I do think that the way I handled the generation of the list was good.
Right now I'm feeling stressed out. I'm worried about the audition and what might happen if I don't get that job. I feel overwhelmed by tasks. Finally, I feel moral repulsion at myself for not being happier with my situation. I have everything--I am comfortable, free, well-off, educated, etc. etc, so I should be thankful. Sadly, right now I just feel anxiety. Maybe it's my sugar addiction, which, by the way, I'm trying to break again. Today is day 2.

Today I worked, read Anna K, exercised, had dinner with Eva, cleaned the kitchen, and now I'm off to bed.
Overall, I used my day effectively. I advanced myself by working (some of the money may go toward savings), reading Anna K, and exercising. Tomorrow I want to write out all my small tasks and projects and break the projects down into smaller segments. The big event tomorrow is my Kaplan interview. Otherwise, I need to work on my Temple application.

Cultivating the lives that we desire is a battle. There will be victories and defeats. Some days we succumb to base temptations, and on these days, the whole endeavor seems hopeless. But somehow, this despair always give way to optimism and ambition. The cycle continues, and we must try to keep fighting. Is the end determined? Who knows, all we can do is fight when we have the strength to do so.

Wednesday:
Score: +2
Total: 48
Work hours today: 12
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 4 hours.

Summary: Finished my Berkeley application.


Tuesday:
Score: 0
Total: 46
Work hours today: 8
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 10 hours

Summary: Listened to Jude the Obscure on CD while I was at work. Books on cd is going to be an awesome thing for however long I work at my dad's shop.

Monday:
Score: +2
Total: 48

Comments: I got a 1560 on my second GRE. What a relief. Just that alone warrants a +2 (just as failing it a week and a half ago warranted an automatic -2). Now I need to find a job and finish my applications.

Sunday:
Score: +2
Total: 46
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 3
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

**Post for Saturday, Dec. 1**

Score: +1
Total: 44
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 2
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: I had another moderately successful day. My practice test results were good--1540. I'd be very happy with that score on the real test. I hope I don't freak out again. All that's left to do on Berkeley's application is to finish my statements. Monday morning is the test, and Berkeley's application is due on the 5th. I had a delicious hoagie from Primo after mailing my hard-copy materials. Also, I read a little Anna K today after a multi-week haitus. It's good to be reading it again. Tomorrow I am going to relax the entire day. I haven't taken a genuine day-off in a while, so this should be nice. I'm also hoping that this will calm me down for the test.

Score: +1
Total: 43
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 1
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: Enjoyed 3 episodes of The Wire, took another practice test, studied, and worked on my application. I decided not to do the portfolio because there was another piece that was actually required that I needed to finish today, so I can send it tomorrow. While I was preparing this part of the application, I was asked to list and briefly describe all the different college courses I've taken. As I was going back through my memory of St. John's classes, it struck me #1, how much I miss it, and #2, how great of a time that really was. It was so good it was unreal. I had no idea how good things were then. It was like living in a utopia in the sky, contemplating the highest things, and now I'm struggling in this gritty, harsh, shitty world below. But even that's not true, my life now is pretty good, but still--that was "halcyon", as the GRE might put it. As Ghostfaced Killah said, "That's that real shit G, I miss those shits, man, I wanna go back to school, man
that's my word, man for real y'all, those were, those were the... goddamn y'all, you remember...I miss those days man, for real" Fuckin-A Ghost, just like your comments on art, your wisdom resonates in my soul. Yeah, so I'm going back to school. Hopefully it'll be even half as nice as St. John's was.

Score: +1
Total: 42
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: Even though it's not required of applicants to Berkeley's Master City Planning program, I was thinking that I might send them a design portfolio, as a supplement to the rest of my application. The problem is that they only accept hard-copy portfolios, and I never learned how to make those. I don't really know how to make digital ones either, but at least I figured that I could put images on a disc and send them that. Anyway, I have exactly 1 day to a) figure out how to make a hard-copy portfolio, and b) make it. It's not a big deal if I don't make one, since they don't even ask for it, so I might not do it. There's also the issue of expense. I'll figure something out.
I got a 1440 on today's practice test, which, at this point, is totally fine. I was shooting for a 1600, but now I just want to get something respectable.

Score: +1
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: Worked, went for a bike ride, studied, ate, and worked on my Berkeley application. I did get up late this morning, and it did compromise my breakfast, which had a ripple effect throughout the day. I'm tired now, and I could have done more, but I did ok. It's important to limit attention on immediate tasks and not look around at things in the distance. We assume, as an article of faith, that if we do what we perceive as right and effective, we will arrive at our desired end point. The best way to work is to set about doing that work without worrying about what may or may not happen. In other words, if I can just do my shit--send out applications, put in my days, exercise dutifully, stick to my diets, etc.--eventually, my dreams will come true. But sometimes I get thrown off when things get difficult, which is human nature. Like, now I need to find a new job, because the work ran out at the place I was working since I moved. That plus my GRE plus applications tempts me to give up or at least go on an eating binge, or something. But I think if I do what I can--send in applications (both for work and for school), save money, and generally "do the right thing"--I will arrive at a good place. As I enter a dark or tough period, I need to put my head down, tape on the blinders, and go to work. If I can fully cultivate that quality, then I'll be invincible, Rocky Balboa style.

Score: +1
Total: 40
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 4
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: I had a late start this morning, so I didn't get to eat a full breakfast. I think the change that occurred on Sunday in diet and intensity of activities made me overly tired. I expect that to balance out.
At lunch I ate somewhat immoderately and didn't study vocab, which were bad, but I relaxed and did physical work later in the day, so it wasn't a total loss. I studied well when I got home, ate a good dinner, went a little overboard on the dessert, and then took care of the remaining practical stuff that needed to happen before the Berkeley App is due. The big thing was coming up with the latest budget. Things are better than I expected, even with the reduced income this month and increased expenses (in certain categories).
Unfortunately, I'm already late going to bed, so it's likely that I'll be late getting up, which may mean another insufficient breakfast. I'll try to make it happen, but it's much harder with limited sleep. After work I want to study more and work on the Berkeley application.

First of all, shame on me for not posting. I stopped posting because I was ashamed and embarrassed about what the publick would think of me after what happened last Wednesday. Let me start at the beginning:
So I decided to take two final practice tests Tuesday night before test day. Prior to this I had taken other practice tests and done well. In the very beginning I was having issues with pacing on the math section, but it seemed to be getting better. On Tuesday, however, I did great on the verbal and good on the math, but not great--my pacing problems were coming back. Basically, I would only be able to do 22/28 problems, and I would get the first 22 correct, but not even attempt the final 6, or something like that. Of course this wasn't terrible, but I was shooting for as high of a score as possible. This freaked me out a little bit. Going into the test Wednesday, I kept telling myself that the most important thing was to go fast on the math section.
The math section came around, and to my horror, I couldn't see a way to repackage the first question, which is the key to the GRE. If one were to solve that question using a straight forward method, it would take a long time, and this isn't the point of the test. I don't know if it was because I was nervous, but I started panicking immediately because I didn't see a way to approach it. Also, the first few questions are the most important, since they put you on a difficulty track for the rest of the test, and you have to answer before you can move on, so I placed high importance on the first question. Deciding that I couldn't afford to miss the first question, I did the calculation long-hand. At this point I was already in despair because my pacing was messed up, and, not surprisingly, my results didn't match any of the answers. Now I was full blown panicked. I had already wasted about 10 minutes for absolutely nothing. At that point it was over. I might as well have not taken the test. I tried the best I could on the remaining questions, but I don't think I even got half-way through. End result: barely a 1000 for the whole test (scored the way the old SATs were).
When the score popped up on the screen, I gasped and my veins felt like they were expanding. I thought I was going to puke in my cubicle. I stumbled out of the testing center, forgot my coat, and almost got hit by a car riding home. I'm still in shock, really. I was shooting for a 1600 (and I think it was achievable), but instead I barely got a 1000. Needless to say, that was below the minimum at almost all of the programs I'm applying to. Fortunately, I was able to reschedule another test for December 3rd, still leaving enough time for the new results to get to the schools. Right as soon as I got home, I wrote letters to all of the schools I'm applying to explaining what happened. My verbal was actually very good, and I have a good feeling about my essays. Grade wise, I have 8 As and 1 A- in 9 college semesters of math, which I pointed out in my letter. I also offered to have my math teachers write extra letters stating that my math skills are in fact higher than those of a house plant. Most importantly, I need to make absolutely sure my pacing issues are fixed in time for the next test, and I need to calm down while I'm taking it. On top of filling out my Berkeley application this week, the next few days are going to be hectic. Now, on to my scoring recaps:

Wednesday:
Score: -2
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Commentary: Blech, obviously. After the test and my letters, I ate a bunch of cookies and suffered in my chair. Totally horrible day.

Thursday:
Score: -1
Total: 40
Sugar Free Days: 0

Commentary: Relaxed with my family, which was nice, but I didn't do much. I ate poorly, hence the negative.

Friday:
Score: -2
Total: 38
Sugar Free Days: 0

Commentary: The despair still hung heavily over me at this point. Spent money, ate junk food, and didn't study that much (at least I studied some). I didn't even wake up until 11, and didn't get back to my apartment until 1 or 2.

Saturday:
Score: -2
Total: 36
Sugar Free Days: 0

Commentary: Much like Friday. Some studying, some eating junk food and spending money. Basically a waste.

Sunday:
Score: +1
Total: 37
Sugar Free Days: 0

Commentary: Did a bunch of work around the house, had a nice time with Eva, studied a bit. Recharged, mentally overcame the majority of my despair, and set up the rest of the week with practical crap (i.e., did grocery shopping, did laundry, did my weekly lot of cleaning, etc.)

Today:
Score: +2
Total: 39
Sugar Free Days: 1

Commentary: All right, I feel like I'm back on track. I studied vocab at work, ate moderately, went for a run after work, took care of some practical issues, and studied. Also important is the fact that I'm posting again. This week is going to be a crucial week. Like last week, I'm on an efficiency schedule: instant meals only to minimize cooking and cleaning time, and no leisure outside of some time with Eva at night. My plan is to come home, go for a run, and then start, breaking only for a quick dinner, and then stopping at around 9pm.

Score: +2
Total: 43
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 4
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Score: +2
Total: 43
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 4
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Score: +2
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 3
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: Again, I got about 10-11 hours of sleep. Fuck it. I had another solid day. Seriously, pacing is the only thing keeping me from 1600. I'm going to focus primarily on pacing in the next two days. I'll do anywhere from 2-4 practice tests in the next two days. I also hear Princeton Review and Kaplan tests are actually much harder than the real test, which would be sweet. We'll see. I also prepared guidelines for my family's Plato seminar on Thanksgiving, generated a shopping list (Eva already got some of it), and made a resume to give to Marc tomorrow. After 7 I'm relaxing and recharging.

Score: +2
Total: 39
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 2
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: I got more than 8 hours last night--it was more like 11. I guess I needed it. I still accomplished my goals today. I finished the practice problems in the book and did one full-length on-line test. I got a 790 on verbal, and I was on track to having a perfect on math but I ran out of time. I haven't timed myself yet, so I had no concept of pacing. It's cool though. I can up my hustle.
I also made a bank deposit, hung out with Eva for a bit, did push-ups, and went for a jog. Tomorrow I want to do 3 full-length tests on-line.

Score: +2
Total: 37
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 1
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: I was on-point all day. I accomplished my study goal: finish creating flash cards, studying concepts, and studying strategy. I tried several practice problems and had good results. Tomorrow I'm going to do a bunch of exercises in the back of my book and try one full length test. I also did push-ups and took care of some budget stuff.
I met Eva for a peppermint mocha latte this afternoon, which was nice, and later we walked to Sahara to meet my dad and our mutual friend for dinner. The walk was great and so was the dinner and conversation.

Score: +1
Total: 35
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: I didn't have to go into work until 10, and, shamefully, I slept an extra two hours because I didn't have to get up. I intended to get up at my normal time and use my two hours to study. Oh well. Work was good--I studied for a few minutes at lunch--and at the end of the day I got to help set up a company party at Alma de Cuba. The restaurant is beautiful. I would love to go there privately some time for a drink or dinner. I was also at work late enough to see the city after dark from up in the sky scraper. It too was beautiful. Daniel Leibeskind (sp?) said that the city is the greatest creation of man. I might agree, or at least I understand the sentiment there. It was moving, actually, walking around the perimeter of the office taking in the panoramic of the city at night. Once I came home, I proof-read my application to the Nutter administration, sent it, and studied for the rest of the night. Now I'm off to bed. Tomorrow I want to finish going over the concepts and strategies in my book, as well as finish creating my flash cards, so I can start doing practice tests over the weekend. Wednesday is test day.

Score: +2
Total: 34
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: worked late, studied at lunch, went for a run, put together an application to work for the Nutter administration, and ate. The sugar thing is a pain in my ass--I don't know why I can't resist. But at least I didn't completely let go and I stuck with my goals. My run was awesome. I hadn't been on the banks trail after dark before, and it's very beautiful. All the bridges are lit up underneath, and the skyline is in the background. Good stuff.

Score: +2
Total: 32
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 1
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: worked, exercised, cleaned, ran an errand, studied, and took care of my transcript requests.

Score: +1
Total: 30
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: I've been slipping on my sugar liberation quest. Despite that, I've still had moderately productive days. Starting tomorrow (actually, starting right now) I'm going to resume my attempt and see how many days I can go.

Score: +1
Total: 29
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Comments: Studied, went grocery shopping, cleaned.

Score: +1
Total: 28
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 3
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Score: +2
Total: 27
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 3
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: Vocab practice during lunch, advanced an administrative task toward completion, help cook dinner for Aaron, ate an enjoyable meal (salad, lasagna, challa, matzo ball soup, and black forest cake), and before I go to bed I want to finish making what I hope to be my final set of vocab flash cards.

Score: +2
Total: 25
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 2
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.

Summary: So my vigor is wasting away, eh Dan? See my response. Anyway, today was awesome. I got up virtuously, kicked ass at work, created and studied vocab flash cards at lunch, went for a 30 minute bike ride along the Schuylkill Banks Trail to the end of Boat House Row, ate dinner (while listening to Jazz, yeah!), and studied the rest of the night.

Score: +2
Total: 23
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 1

Comments: Great wake-up, work, studied vocab at lunch, unpacked after work, went for a run in the park (beautiful scenery), started making dinner while listening to NPR, cleaned up around the house, went to Maxx's for some miscellaneous groceries and appreciated their clean and attractive store, finished dinner, wrote some emails, ate dinner with some wine and jazz compliments of WRTI, and soon I'll be going to bed.
Herbal tea in the morning and wine in the evening are great. Wine and jazz, eating and relaxing--it's a very beautiful way to wind down and get ready for bed.

Score: +1
Total: 21
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---

Summary: I rebounded more or less from yesterday. I reviewed my system, reminded myself of the wisdom and experience that it was built upon, and recommitted myself. I also reminded myself that sometimes certain elements can be suspended to accomplish necessary short-term goals (although the whole system is required for a long-term, sustained effort). In particular, I'm suspending my "working hours" cap until I take me GRE. My plan is to make sure I cover the fundamentals, i.e., I'm going to make sure I get good sleep, eat nutritious meals, and get exercise. I will also take care of any necessary practical tasks that arise. Other than that, I'm going to spend all of my time studying. No leisure time until the test is over. I plan to take it the weekend after this weekend. After that I'll take a vacation to recover (I think that will be Thanksgiving weekend the following week, no? If so, that'll be perfect). So, for right now, I'm not tracking work hours, since there are no caps in place.

Score: -1
Total: 20
Work hours today: 0.5
Work hours for the week: 0.5/60

Comments: I need a house cleaner and a psychiatrist. Too bad I have no ducats.

Score: +1
Total: 21
Work hours today: 0
Work hours for the week: 53.5/60
Sleep time: 8.5 hours, will attempt next week.

Summary: Painted the apartment and watched the Eagles. I had some thoughts about my hours count. The point is to make sure that I do just the right amount of work. In theory, over 60 will compromise my humanity, and less will be lazy. So far my definition of what counts was based on an idea. I was thinking that since I have the limit to prevent burn out, essentially, I should count anything that feels like work. If it makes me tired, or sucks, or whatever, that's work. If it's fun, it's not. I'll put up with 60 hours of horse shit per week.

Score: 0
Total: 20
Work hours today: 0
Work hours for the week: 53.5/60
Sleep time: 8.5 hours, will attempt next week.

Comments: The sugar experiment is over. Even after 10 days, once I started eating sugar again, I was completely blown away by how different I was. I had no discipline, I was irritable, I had a harder time dealing with complexity and ambiguity (everything was black or white), and I had no energy. The affects of the abuse on my mind and body are so bad, that nothing other than strategy A is acceptable, because I can't handle any more. Starting tomorrow, I will go back to strategy A.

Score: 0
Total: 20
Work hours today: 8
Work hours for the week: 53.5/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A lasted 10 days; Strategy B lasted 0 days
Strategy C: cold turkey with holidays.
Sleep time: 8.5 hours, will attempt next week.

Comment: It didn't work moderating myself today. I'll comment more later

Score: +1
Total: 20
Work hours today: 11.5
Work hours for the week: 45.5/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A lasted 10 days
Strategy B: ween myself off gradually and then not taking holidays once complete: 0 days
Sleep time: 8.5 hours, will attempt tonight.

Comments: That was a prophetic comment you made yesterday Dan--in the end I couldn't resist the sugar. First it was actually a bag of chips on the way home from the parties. Eva wanted a milkshake, and I wanted one as well, but I didn't want to violate my policy, so I decided to get something equally appetizing but without the sugar, so I chose chips. Once I finished them, I felt like I was in a junk food state of mind, or rather, it was probably like a crack head who started out with weed, and tried to quit all drugs, but then decides to smoke weed again, and in smoking the weed, felt drawn toward the crack. It didn't help that my crack was right in front of me in the form of mind blowing chocolate and espresso powder cookies that Eva made. Anyway, I ate a bunch, ate more for breakfast, and then at work the candy dishes were overflowing and there were donuts in the break room. That was the end of strategy A
I'm going to score strategy B in the following way: since I'm looking for the lowest net intake of sugar, I won't count each day as "a day" for strategy B, because each day won't be a full sugar free day. Rather, I'm going to ween myself off in three stages. The first stage, starting tomorrow, will be close to full indulgence. I'll only hold back a little. This might mean 2 sodas, 2 candy bars, some gummies, and a cookie, for example. Stage two will be leveling off to a bit more than my ideal state, maybe 1 soda, 1 candy bar, and some gummies. Then stage three will be where I began strategy A--only 1 home made / quality dessert in moderation per day, maximum. For now I'll count stage one days as 1/3rds, stage 2 days as 2/3rds, etc. I'll try a week on each.
It was scary to see how much the sugar affected me. For a while, when I was first studying the GREs, and I was abusing sugar like crack, I made a great many careless errors, or "concentration" errors as they're called in football. Once I started strategy A they almost disappeared completely, except that I felt irritable instead, probably from sugar withdrawal. Today I made several incredibly stupid mistakes, making for a very frustrating sessions. I mean shit, I wrote out 6! as 6x5x3x2x1--what the fuck?! And it was funny because the book even had an answer that corresponded to the answer I got using that shitty expression. Anyway, sugar is a beeotch.
One thing I was considering--being on strategy A really changed my sharpness for the better. Should I retry strategy A, and continue to try it until I take the GREs, which will be in about 2-3 weeks? I say this because if I do strategy B now, I will still be relatively sugared up come test time, which concerns me. If I do A, then I might be mentally strong on test day, but it might inhibit my long term efforts to break my habit (since I'd be delaying the experiment). Maybe I could do A until the test and start again? Except if I do B, I'll be at the tail end of phase 2 or even into phase 3 by the time I take the test, so it might not be any different, or it might even be better, because I will have gradually come down from my addiction, so I won't be as irritable as when I insist on doing it all at once and being perfect without easing into it. Anyway, that was a jumble of shit, but comments would be appreciated.

Score: +2
Total: 19
Work hours today: 11
Work hours for the week: 34/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 10.
Sleep time: 8.5 hours, will attempt Thursday night.

Summary: Admin, Grad school, pushups, GRE, dinner, and soon off to Halloween parties with Eva. I'm going as Raskalnikov. I'm trying to switch to herbal tea in the morning instead of coffee. I'm not noticing any symptoms of withdrawal. Nothing much has happened really. Last night I got 8.15 hours of sleep, and it wasn't enough. Tonight is going to be a late night because of the party, so I'm voluntarily breaking my experiment sequence tonight. This will probably throw off the results for Thursday night into Friday, so I'll try 8.5 on Thursday and on Sunday/Monday.

Score: +2
Total: 17
Work hours today: 11.5
Work hours for the week: 23/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 9.
Sleep time: 8.25 hours, will attempt tonight.

Summary: Missed my bedtime, but only by 15 minutes (but that's the point, making sure to be precise for my experiment). Tonight I will do it! Worked, pushups, admin, halloween costume (19th century Russian student), burrito with Josh, Grad school applications, and GRE.

Score: +2
Total: 15
Work hours today: 11.5
Work hours for the week: 11.5/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 8.
Sleep time: 8.25 hours, will attempt tonight.

Summary: Went to bed late last night, shame. Tonight will go to bed at 10. Used Philly Car share to get house plants. Graduate school stuff. Meal planning. GRE vocab. Pushups. Was ok at being calm today. Stressed out driving.

Score: +1
Total: 13
Work hours today: 0
Work hours for the week: 60/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 7.
Sleep time: 8.25 hours, will attempt Sunday night.

Summary: breakfast, walk, 4th street deli, lorenzo's, calls, and reading after this. I gave myself a 1 because I didn't relax as much as I should have--I thought too much about work. And then when I was trying to do things, like shop for a costume for next week's party, I was indecisive and ended up with nothing. I haven't read yet. The walk was nice, and I stuck to my principles, so it wasn't bad.

Score: +2
Total: 12
Work hours today: 6.4
Work hours for the week: 60/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 6.
Sleep time: 8.25 hours, will attempt Sunday night.

Summary: I spend too much time writing on the blog, so posts will be quicker. Breakfast, coffee at La Colombe, Philly Mag, cleaning house, domains, cleaning bathroom, grocery shopping, laundry, dinner, GRE, after this grad school research until Eva comes home. Listened to Radiohead's new album while cleaning. I want to increase my knowledge of contemporary music. Even though tomorrow is a day off, will skip Eagles game to spend time doing something more valuable, like reading. Need to be less tense next week.

Score: +2
Total: 10
Work hours today: 10
Work hours for the week: 53.6/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 5.
Sleep time: 8.25 hours, will attempt Sunday night.

Comments: I stayed very calm today, which has been key. I've been trying to mentally embrace each activity as it is taking place, without worrying about what comes after, or what might go wrong after, as if I were doing whatever I am doing at that moment for eternity. That worked well today. I tried a hoagie from Tony Luke's in Center City, and all I can say is that they should stick with cheesesteaks. When I got home I did push-ups and unpacked and then watched The Devil Wears Prada with Eva, which was much better than I would have thought. I found it entertaining and thought provoking, although I wonder about it's correspondence to reality (like, where it would score on the realness scale, if you take the Godfather saying you can never be a real man without spending time with your family as a 10 and Redneck Zombies as a 1). After that I studied French for 20 minutes, with vigor, and then I worked on GRE for a little over an hour. I'm making less stupid arithmetic mistakes, which is comforting, and I annihilated this purportedly difficult problem involving standard deviation. Shabbat dinner was glorious (Eva cooked everything--matzo ball soup, garlic tomato kale, and challa with wine). Afterward we went over color schemes for painting the apartment, and if I have the energy, I'm going to clean up before going to bed. I might just go to bed.

Score: +2
Total: 8
Work hours today: 12.1
Work hours for the week: 43.6/60
Sugar Liberation Strategy: Strategy A, cold turkey with no holidays--day 4.
Sleep time: 8 hours

Summary: Got everything done exactly as planned. It was glorious. work, pushups, 45 minutes of French, 1 hour of GRE, wrote a letter to my grandparents, cleaned up a bit in the kitchen, and researched grad schools for 1/2 hour.
I had an amazing moment earlier when I was studying French. It was 4:45 in the afternoon, and I was dead tired. I was having a hard time concentrating, and I was tempted to go to sleep. I thought about drinking coffee, but I've already had my 1 cup for the day. I was trying to rationalize taking a nap. But then my reason told me that the only good choice was to power through, so I strained to stay awake and focus, and within about an hour (after moving onto GRE), my sleepiness was replaced by exhilaration at how much I was getting done. It was like opposite physical states traded within an hour of me not doing anything physical.
I'll finally get to read Anna K tonight. Hell yeah. I'll have at least an hour, and probably an hour and 15. I should also go to bed on time tonight (10:15), so I can have the first round in my experiment. If, a) I actually lie down at 10:15 to sleep, and b) I don't wake up naturally before the alarm, I'll try going to be at 10, probably Sunday night or next Monday night (weekend nights are relaxed). If I can't get up without the alarm after going to bed at 10, I'll move to 9:45 and so on. I don't give a shit if I have to go to bed at 6:30 pm, I'm going to get to the point where my body gets all the sleep it needs and wakes up comfortably without the need for an alarm.
Also, another significant thing that's going on is that I'm breaking my sugar addiction. This has God knows what kind of affect on my state of being. I have four different strategies for it. Plan A: go cold turkey and never eat pure shit (candy, soda) again. Actual pastries or desserts that are made with artistry are ok (so a Le Bus croissant is ok, but not a Tastykake, and only 1 Le Bus croissant per day, max) This principle goes for all 4 plans. Plan B: ween myself off in graduated steps, and once I'm completely free, never again. C: go cold turkey but allow myself a few holidays throughout the year where I can eat all the shit that I want to D: ween myself off and allow myself holidays. I'm going to try each strategy, write down how many days it lasts, and then whichever lasts the longest, I'm going to keep trying that one until it works or until another strategy presents itself to me. Actually, while I'm writing this I think I should record which one I'm on and how long it's lasting at the top of my blog. And I'll put the sleep thing up there for good measure.

Schedule for tomorrow:

French 15
GRE 1
Bike lock bracket and registration, up to an hour
Remainder on grad school research.

Score: +2
Total: 6
Work hours today: 10
Work hours for the week: 31.5/60

Summary: Did all the stuff on my schedule except get plants and pick up the card. I did more work on GRE than I expected--about 50 minutes. One major difference today was that I took it easy during lunch. I ate slowly, and read an article on the Inquirer, leisurely. It was great. It aided me to be relaxed for the rest of the day and conserve my energy. To try to cram work into my short lunch break, right after 4 straight hours of work, and just prior to 4 straight hours of work, is too hectic.
Unfortunately I won't hit the pillow until about 10:25, which is ten minutes later than I wanted to. Until I actually lie down at 10:15, I won't be able to judge if it's enough time. My plan is to scale back 15 minutes a night (8 hours, 8.25 hours, 8.5 hours, etc.) until I get to the point where I wake up without the alarm. Other things factor in to this, as I've come to realize. I'll blog about it later

Schedule for tomorrow:

I'm leaving the details up in the air, but because Eva is working again, my goal is 12 working hours tomorrow. At least 45 minutes will be French, and 1 hour will be GRE. I'll probably do admin for an hour or more, and grad school for at least 1/2 hour. HOPEFULLY I'll get to read some Anna K tomorrow night.

Score: +2
Total: 4
Work hours today: 10.75
Work hours for the week: 21.5/60

Summary: woke up late, still did my lunch stuff, went to local office supply about shredder, looked up stuff about it online, spent a lot of time researching health insurance, took a walk to get food, jogged, push-ups, and GRE vocab studying. I need to calm down and be relaxed. Breathe deeply. I'm wasting energy by being tense. I probably would have gotten up on time today if I had relaxed more yesterday, and I'm worried about the same thing tonight.

Schedule for tomorrow:

At lunch: reserve car, if needed
Right after work: haircut
Plants, bike store, card, figure out food.
1/2 hour GRE
Initiate contact with Aetna about chiropractic benefits

Score: +2
Total: 2
Work hours for the week: 10.75/80

Summary: The goal from this point forward is to persist, not to be perfect. Sheldon Brown once talked about how a cornerback must cultivate a short memory because even the best corners will get burned from time to time and you can't expect your game to be perfect, otherwise you'll get depressed and suck worse. Every snap is a new chance, just like every day is a new chance. In fact, every moment is a "new snap", so even if I'm riding a negative day, I should still strive to turn it around even at the last minute(who knows, a late save may earn points).
Another "procedural issue"--to protect myself from burning out, I'm capping off my hours worked per week at 60. Actually, I'm requiring myself to work 60, but not more. So I'll keep a running count of how I'm doing with that. To precisely define what counts as work would be difficult, but I know it when I see it. If anyone notices a pattern, the following would count as work: being at work, studying for the GRE, reading my French grammar book, walking to and from work, exercising, going grocery shopping, blogging, cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, writing a letter, and paying bills. The following would not be work: sleeping, showering, eating, cooking, cleaning, reading, watching movies, walking around, messing around on the internet, and skateboarding.
Beyond regular work, I studied for the GRE for a 1/2 hour, did laundry, did 7 dive bomber push-ups, studied French for 15 minutes, read a paper my sister wrote and gave feedback, researched graduate school programs, and did some general planning.
I did well in the sense that I was disciplined. I could do better by being less tense. I think I contained my anxiety by not appearing anxious, which is key, but I was still wound up. I need to proceed smoothly, unhurried yet deliberate. It's a fine line.
Tomorrow Eva is catering at night, so I'm going to do extra work. Here's my schedule in outline form:

At lunch: call Clark Office Supply to see if they have a shredder and research barber shops.
4:15-4:30: deal with mail/pushups
4:30-5:30: pick up shredder or get a hair cut.
French: 15 minutes
GRE: 1 hr
Health care: complete a significant step
Grad School: 1/2 hour

Yeah Dan, we need to get on the ball, this is ridiculous. Oh god...I imagine being 40 and being like, "ok, starting tomorrow, we're going to be on point, and here's the new rating system we're going to use" on the other hand, throughout all of this, I have been doing things and have been progressing, so it's not a total loss, just not ideal.
I haven't been posting because I haven't had the internet. Finally, after over a month of trying to get it set up, it's working right now. On my birthday, Oct. 22, I'm going to start my +/- points system with a cumulative score. To review, each day gets anywhere from a +2 to a -2. +2 = totally solid effort, on point, disciplined, and moving in the right direction; +1 = net effect was positive, but it was rocky; 0 = I'm at the same place at the end of the day as I was at the beginning; -1 = slight decline, and -2 = total fuck up. It's good because my birthday is on a Monday, so I can simultaneously start a new week and a new year, each year being from oct 22-oct 21 of the following year. I'll do running counts and also keep track of other things. For example, I could do "books read this year", or something like that.
Between now and my start date, I want to build momentum. I want to flush out the crap from my body, get on a good schedule, etc. so that I can start running. I'll post again on the 22nd