Outcome: "Win"
Record: 132-10
Streak: Won 14

Summary: Car is messed up again, so that's interrupting my schedule in a huge way. I excused myself from writing this morning because I would have fallen asleep at the computer even if I did get up. With morning pages I required myself to get up no matter what, since they work just as well if you're half-passed out as they do when you're awake. With my book, however, I need to be at least sufficiently alert so that I'm not writing total horse shit. As I said, the book is not a project or a requirement. It'll take all the time it needs. If I don't do it one day, that's all right. I'll try to do it as much as I can, but I'm not going to force it. Having said that, I might not work on it tomorrow either, since the morning would be the only time that I could potentially spend on it, and I'm already feeling extremely wiped out. We'll see.
In addition to the car, what else have I been doing that's wiped me out so much? Mainly class work. Working full-time and taking these two classes has been hectic to say the least. But I'm kicking ass, so it's all good. I did two lessons in French, weighed in around 174, spent 3 hours working on a model, and spent about 20 minutes touching up a drawing for a presentation tomorrow. I got extra credit in one class for having my project done on the date that we were supposed to have it done because almost no one else did.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 131-10
Streak: Won 13

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 130-10
Streak: Won 12

Summary: I ended up not having a day off, but it's OK. I'm working on not pitying myself, because, first of all, I agree with Emerson that you can only be ripped off by yourself, and second of all, I have an extremely luxurious and wonderful life.
I went grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, finished my drafting projects, and then went out to dinner for a belated Valentine's Day dinner with Eva. The dinner was fantastic. Everything else was solid and I'm happy with my completed projects.

Week in Review: I put in a completely solid week. It wasn't perfect--one day I didn't do French, I could have worked harder at times, I didn't write on Saturday, I didn't read, I didn't have a day off, and I didn't completely control myself emotionally, although I was better than normal. I was moody a little this morning, for example.
Next week will be more mellow since I'll be handing in my projects tomorrow, and then we won't have a test or a project for at least 1 week. Also, I'm getting my car back from the garage tomorrow, and I feel like odds are that it should be all right for a while before it needs another repair.
Goals for next week:
1. I want to focus on suppressing my feelings of self-pity.
2. I want to make it so that when I work, I'm working very hard, and when I'm relaxing, I'm completely relaxed and not worrying about anything. I've already vastly improved in this category, but I could get better.
3. I want to fucking read! Damn, am I never going to finish another book again? Of course I know I'm being dramatic. But I really would like to read. My goal, seriously, is to read from 4 pm until 11 pm on Saturday. Mark those words.
4. I just want to maintain all of the good stuff that I've been doing.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 129-10
Streak: Won 11

Summary: I think I just saw a tumble weed blow past me in the cyberspace of our web ring.
Today I kept plugging away on my projects, with leisure mixed in. I got up at 11, made omelets, coffee, and fruit plates, ate with Eva, started listening to WRTI and my own music, and drafted until now. I just took a break to grab a snack and write this, but then I'm going to get back into it. At 7 I'm going to an employee appreciation party for my work.
I like my drawings. It's satisfying to work so long on something and then to see the results compressed into a single, beautiful object.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 128-10
Streak: Won 10

Summary: I finally finished that scene in my book this morning. I was proud of myself for waking up, because when that alarm went off, I thought I was going to get back in bed. It's great these days that I seem to be able to work whether I feel like it or not. Maybe I'm approaching the point where I'll win every day no matter what.
I'm drawing again like a mad-motherfucker. I've been drawing since 4:45 with no plans to stop until 11. It looks very nice, I think.
It's crazy to think about wasting time. I bet there are people out there who have 100% maximized their time. I'm not talking about working all the time, because, #1, it's impossible, and #2, your work would suck because you wouldn't have any perspective, not to mention the fact that your life would suck in general. I'm talking about people who sleep enough, have sufficient time to spend "with their family" (because, if it were a guy, he wouldn't be a real man otherwise)--but there would be no excess time. The work would occur at the limits of what is possible and healthy, with absolute efficiency. A minute wasted would be a horror. I guess Dan is striving for something like this, and I am too, in a way, but my goals are much more modest. I remember reading this anecdote about how Ed Rendell walked into a meeting 6 minutes late, and Arlen Specter ripped him a new asshole, telling him that if they were a law firm, he would have just wasted 1/10th of their bottom line for that meeting, or something like that. In one state of mind, 6 minutes is nothing. But in another state of mind, you've just wasted an eternity.
Debussy's La Cathedrale Engloutie (The Sunken Cathedral) is not only my favorite song of any genre right now, but it may be the most beautiful collection of sounds I've ever heard period.

There's a saying that goes, "Philadelphia isn't as bad as Philadelphians say it is", or something like that. Well, I have always said SEPTA sucks. I remember Dan saying SEPTA is awesome in comparison to other shit out there and me being skeptical. So I was pleasantly surprised when, in an unofficial search through some random message boards and ranking sites, Philly actually appears to have one of the most highly regarded systems in America. At worst, it is placed on par with Boston, which I remember thinking had a great system.
My search was prompted by reading the Inquirer article about the threat of fare increases and me thinking I fucking hate SEPTA. Even though it's not as bad as I make it out to be in my head, I still think we deserve far better. We should be striving for something like London or Paris.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 127-10
Streak: Won 9

Summary: I'm like Ice Cube, but instead of eating and lifting, I'm writing and drawing.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 126-10
Streak: 8

Summary: I'm working on cultivating a tough mind, what the godfather might call a "man's mind", the opposite of Sonny's soft mind when he's playing all that comedy with that girl. As I said before, I can't always control my state of mind, so I can't wait until it's right before I work. On the other hand, perhaps the toughness that I'm talking about is having an ever present meta-attitude that knows that only "women and children" (again, to quote the Godfather) can afford to be careless.
I wrote, despite feeling horrible when I woke up. I used my Artist's Way tools: I'm currently on a scene that I'm having a hard time writing, so I brainstormed about it in morning pages format. I got at least 1 great idea about the scene if not 2. I also filtered a lot of things that I want to avoid with it. This is great. I'll get there, I know it.
Later when I was doing French, I used a slightly different approach than the last few days. Normally I go through each item in each lesson, trying to focus on every point. I realized that my impulse to do this is more aesthetic than practical. It is satisfying to feel like you have squeezed everything out of a lesson, or gone over every point and not missed a thing. The truth is that I already know a great deal of this material, so now I'm inspectionally reading at first, and then when I get to a section that's either new or needs review, I'll stop, analyze, put in the cd, and do that item specifically. I ripped through 3 lessons using this method.
When I got home my sickness returned. Oh yeah, I should mention that we got off from class this evening because of the snow. I used the time to think about certain strategic things that I might or might not do right now, went to the art store (which was fucking pointless because they decided to close early because of the snow) and then I got down to business, drafting for 3 and a 1/2 hours. I'm about to eat something light and sleep.

And yo, I aint trying to brag or nothin, but the wu got something...the wu got a 100% on the first of four total tests for the year in class #2.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 125-10
Streak: Won 7

Summary: I started actually writing this morning. Good stuff. Weighed in at about the same as yesterday. Did one large lesson in French today. Since 5 I've been working on a drawing, and I'm still going. I want to finish, but I also want to go to bed soon. I'll try my best to get it done soon.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 124-10
Streak: Won 6

Summary: I started working on my novel again today. It was surreal. I actually had two dreams that I fucked up and slept through my writing time. I think subconsciously I am fearing this. Oh well, as I've said before, I could care less what my emotions do. I looked over my progress to date, organized my computerized work, and reread the section on novels in How to Read a Book.
I want to make something clear concerning my novel. This is personal work. It is not a project. It fulfills no moral obligation. It does not occur on a time-line. My design, planning, and possible political work will fulfill my moral obligation to society, but this is private and sacred. I'll talk about it on here, but I'm going to give this thing as much time as it needs, and I am not going to use any words like, "dominate", "champion", "kick-ass" or anything like that to talk about.
After my book hour, I did my normal stuff, biked, worked, weighed in at 173.4, completed two lessons in French, perused le monde online, biked again, and now I'm off to class.
Tolstoy said something along the lines of "life is what happens when changes occur". Today I changed my lunch from falafel sandwiches to Trader Joe's instant Indian cuisine. I love it. It rejuvenated me in a way, and I'm actually looking forward to lunch again.
Derek: I understand that daily progress can be repetitive, but I find that it's helpful to me to report it, partially in order to help sustain ourselves for the long haul. Also, I gain motivation every time I see someone else's post because, aside from the details, it is a simple manifestation of the fact that someone out there gives a shit and is striving to do something. Plus, you could talk about things you learned concerning the general arts of time management and psychology. It doesn't all have to be facts.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 123-10
Streak: Won 5

Summary: I completed Artist's Way! 12 weeks of work--we'll see how it pays off. Woke up at a leisurely time; ate scones, tea, and an omelet while listening to jazz; wrote my morning pages; did some other stuff--went grocery shopping, got ice cream. It was a fun day. Eva and I went into one of her friend's dorm rooms, and it hit me how much I miss college. Your meals are taken care of for you, your room is small and paid for, there's no substantial cleaning, your job is to read all day. That really was glorious. The last year and half has been way less awesome than college.

Week in Review: I started my 100-days challenge, and I showed some great resolve right from the start. I bought that drafting board, which was huge, so this week should be a little more relaxed. The key thing I want to improve upon next week is sleep. Sleep is #1. I need to take care of that.
My schedule is going to change a little bit since I completed Artist's Way. I'm going to write from 6-7, at least Mon-Thurs, if not Mon-Fri. I definitely need to do that on Monday and Wednesday because of class. I'm going to experiment with different things to see how I can work that in. The important thing is that I get 6 hours per week on the book (6 solid hours!). I really like the idea of doing them first thing in the morning, because I've gotten used to being creative as soon as I wake up, and it's peaceful in the house at that time. Plus, if I finish my writing for the day as soon as I wake up, bam!, I've already started my day like a champion. If I don't have a huge amount of work to do on Friday night, and I need extra sleep, I'll probably let myself sleep in. Actually, no that's not true, maybe I'll do morning pages and then write in the afternoon. We'll see.
I really really really want to have a clear Saturday night next week. It hasn't happened yet since I started my most recent schedule. Each interruption is legitimate, but it's crazy that there has been an anomaly every week. I can't foresee anything for this week, but something could easily come up. Oh actually, I think the employee appreciation party for my work is this Saturday, so there you go, it's a nice thing, and I look forward to it, but no free Saturday next week either.
So I want to continue my wins, get a good hour in on my book every morning, get 8 hours of sleep each night, and complete all of my work by Friday night (except Saturday's hour of writing).

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 122-10
Streak: Won 4

Summary: I woke up at 11 this morning, wrote my pages, then I went back to bed and slept until 4:30. I guess I needed it. I feel great now. After sleeping that much, I have definitely overcome my sleep debt. Also, my sickness is basically gone, when even last night I felt like a pile of shit.
As soon as I got up the second time, I started steam rolling projects like an 18-wheeler with a drunk driver driving. I worked on my summer program application, put away laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned up the entire kitchen which was getting pretty shameful, mailed a letter, created an axon drawing for class, and now I'm going to continue work on another drawing. When I first woke up I had this delicious mountain of pancakes with butter and maple syrup while listening to WRTI. It was glorious. They were playing this new release from Richard Rodney Bennet called Reflections on the Scottish Folk Song. It was amazing. It sounded like a more stringy and sweeping version of Ralph Vaughn Williams or even Debussy. I need to learn so much more about music. Now I'm listening to the kick ass salsa program. I listened to this last week too. I love this shit. I want to dress like a gentleman and host a private dance party in the pyramid lounge on top of the Mellon Center in Philadelphia.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 121-10
Streak: Won 3

Summary: Today I felt sick and tired, literally, but I still did what I needed to do. I was tired because I've been averaging about 7 hours a night as opposed to 8, and I feel sick probably because it's that time of year. I wrote my pages, biked, worked, did French (I'm at lesson 18 out of 40 right now), weighed in at 172, worked, biked, made a deposit, and then came the event of the day: I decided that I need to get a drafting board. The lab hours are limited, and it'll save me the car trip up there on Tuesday's and Thursdays, not to mention the time, which adds up to about 2 hours a week extra. Well, I spent the majority of the evening researching what to buy, making calls, and then actually getting it. The store was pretty far, but I'm glad I got this accomplished in one night. This will be a huge change for the better.
In response to Dan's comments--one day's win is not a statement about how that day compares to the ideal day. It has more to do with what I did given what I had to work with. Like I said in my comments earlier, even if I grant myself too liberal of an excuse, that won't necessarily result in a loss. It's more an issue of taking each moment, trying to figure out what is the best thing, if I can't figure out what the best thing is, then trying to avoid doing obviously bad things, and then at the end of the day roughly balancing the amount of times I acted well and the amount of times I acted poorly. And different things are weighted differently. Like good posture is virtuous, but even if I have terrible posture all day, that's not necessarily a loss. It's like a touchdown for the opposing team, but I could still win. Not doing my morning pages, at least according to my latest scheme, is like throwing 4 INTs in a row--it's fucking over. I wanted an overall "yes" or "no" because I want my system to offer me flexibility. Also, I still have that part of me that wants to be perfect. I can appease that part by giving myself a win. Even though my rational mind knows that rarely will it happen that a win actually corresponds to a perfect day, my perfectionist mind just sees the win and is content. It thinks I did perfect for the day, because there are only two options and no subcategories. It's like, the Eagles can fuck up, yet still make some huge plays and pull out the win, and then once the game ends, all that's left is the win or the loss. They need not carry the thoughts and pains of those mistakes into the next game, although from a strategic standpoint you want to study them. Damn, I'm so tired right now. I'm just going to go to bed. My apologies if this is just garbled horse-shit.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 120-10
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Morning pages, biked, worked, weighed in at 172, did 2 out of 40 lessons in French, worked, biked, made lunch, about to eat dinner, then stop at the art store, draft for about 5 hours, and then go to bed.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 119-10
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I broke my Wednesday-loss streak, although I got a loss yesterday, so I didn't really do any better. Yeah, the problem Dan points out in his response below is one of the fundamental problems that any "system" must deal with. I tried to give my best account of how I deal with it, and I encourage any critiques of my method.
So today I set a challenge for myself. It's not moderate, so I'm violating one of my core principles, but it's not a critical component of my plan--it's totally for fun--so it's not important that it violates my principles. My challenge is 100 straight wins. Today is #1. 100 would put me right around Boston/Philly time, which would be an amazing way to carry me into that transition.
I was thinking tonight that one effective way to use the blogs would be to "sponsor" each other. I tried to do this by offering Dan a raspberry mocha if he got five straight "all 1" days. The awards could be based on actual project milestones, like, I'll do x once you reach stage y in project z (or I'll do x if reach stage y in project z within a given range of time), or the awards could be based on our personal rating systems, like mine was when I attached it to Dan's rating system. I would think that pure monetary value of the incentives should not be the focus. It should be more creative. Like, Dan might say, "if you get an A in both of your classes this semester, I will promptly read any book you recommend to me, and provide feedback"--something like that.
I will try to set the tone: Dan and Derek suggest May as the time when they think their shit will be blowing up. If they simply complete the core program before March 31st, I will contribute 20 uncompensated data collection hours, and for each day earlier than that, I'll add another hour. By core program I mean everything except the content. It must be online with at least some sort of initial content and the capacity for users to start creating accounts. Does this seem too hard or too easy? Let me know, and I'll adjust my offer. I was just trying to think of something to test the sponsorship concept.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 118-10
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: No pages and then a raspberry mocha. Also, I was feeling sorry for myself all day and finding ways to tell people about my condition in a way that I was seeking sympathy.
I am now committing to doing my morning pages every day. I have excused myself in the past, and I was going to write today off as an excused day since I was up late doing virtuous things, but then I realized that 45 minutes of writing my morning pages gives me more vitality than 45 minutes of sleeping, no matter what, so I need to do them, no more excused days.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 118-9
Streak: Won 5

Summary: Morning pages, biked, worked, weighed in at a shameful 174.6 (I can't really account for that), started my next French program (completed 4 out of 40 lessons today alone!), biked, eating dinner now, getting ready for class, going to kick ass at class, then go to sleep.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 117-9
Streak: Won 4

Summary: Wrote my pages, made breakfast, read my final AW lesson, took a shower, made baklava, listened to a beautiful live rendition of Debussy's Prelude to the Afternoon of the Fawn on WRTI, went to a Super Bowl party, made my lunch, and now I'm going to bed.

Week in Review: These days, my schedule is pretty action packed. The fact that I'm staying above water and completing everything is an accomplishment that I'm proud of. That one morning when I got up and did my pages, even after giving myself an excused absence, was awesome. My level of attention and effort on the second half of Wednesday was also great. There were a few things that could be better. First of all, no fucking mochas this week--none. Even though I do allow myself some dessert in my diet, the mocha is off-limits. I need to get back into the habit of being hardcore about desserts at work. If I don't draw a line now, soon I'll be wolfing down the pastries and drinking all manner of crap, like I did last spring. I've been virtuous about this so far, and I'd like to continue that. The other thing is reading. It seems like that's the one thing that tends to get sacrificed at the end of the week because I'm so tired. That's not right--it's a critical part of my week, and I need to make sure it's happening.
Next week I'm going to start going back through my old French program as a review. I'm curious to see how long it will take. I'm guessing I can do it in about 4 weeks.
In other miscellaneous news, I'm psyched that I'll be getting back to the book on the week after next. It's crazy to think about doing that again. We'll see if the last 12 weeks were worth it.

Outcome for 2/3: "Win"
Record: 116-9
Streak: Won 3

Summary: Crazy schedule because of Eva's senior essay. I did finish everything I needed to do.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 115-9
Streak: Won 2

Summary: I stayed up late last night reading Eva's essay, and because of that, I gave myself another excused morning pages absence. What's crazy is that I woke up on my own, at the proper time, and did them, even though I already excused myself from them. That was one of the most virtuous things I've done since the start of my series.
I finished my 20 week French program today, worked, weighed in at 171, biked, toured the state house for my artist's date, finished my homework for class, cleaned up, ran an errand, filed my taxes, and did some miscellaneous administrative work. I've set myself up fantastically for a great Saturday and Sunday. Remember, ideally, Saturday night is for hardcore reading. Sunday is for hardcore relaxing. It seems that there's nothing that should obstruct either of those activities.
I've often stressed the importance of health (diet, sleep, exercise, rest, etc.) over mental strategies. And while I still think that mental strategies are garbage for the most part, there is one that has worked consistently for me. This is to view my mind as a drama between different characters. There is a reasoning and judging character, and if I mentally commit myself to granting complete sovereignty to that "self", then it helps to move along in a positive direction. For example, when I get pumped up about something, all of my selves are unified in will. The problem with that is that inspiration is fleeting, and soon I'm conflicted--my reasoning, judging self concludes that x action is the best action in order to forward my goals, but some other parts of myself, more viscerally present in my consciousness rebels and has a terrible attitude. So then I basically sign a mental contract with the reasoning mind, and then I can do whatever I want. It's like being scared of doing something and then overcoming it (enough that you can move forward) by just signing up for it, mailing your payment, and then getting scared later, rather than let your fear present the possibility of not doing the thing. So in my mental drama, there's the whining self that wants the raspberry mocha. My reaction is not to battle with that self, but just to let it be, and calmly hand the scepter to the reasoning self, which knows that I'm on a diet (and making progress), and which knows the steps that need to be taken in order to get there (those steps don't include a mocha at the moment). So basically I say, "all right fine, throw your fit. You're just making it harder on yourself, because yo, you're going to do it, one way or another. Do you want to drag yourself through pain in order to do it? Or do you want to embrace the inevitable, thus rendering it more pleasant? Whatever, you can do whatever you want, because really it doesn't matter in the end."
Perhaps my strategy sounds lame, but for whatever reason, it has worked well for me. Maybe another way to explain it is to draw a parallel with the experience that Dan and I had with vegetarianism, which was that we made the commitment, and after that point, it wasn't hard at all. It wasn't even an option. It didn't feel like deprivation, it was just the way it was. Well this is like that, except there's another self that whines and carries on constantly about the choice, but the key is that your better half has made a commitment analogous to the vegetarian commitment, which is iron clad. Acknowledge your weak, asshole self, don't get freaked out when its voice creeps into your consciousness, just basically let it stand in the corner and throw it's tantrum. It kind of quiets down after a while once it figures out that it's not going to get what it wants (I've noticed that on individual points, if I let myself slide a few times, it gets immensely more difficult to ignore the voice).

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 114-9
Streak: Won 1

Summary: Last night I worked so hard, had such good etiquette, and just generally carried myself with such a virtuous comportment, that I was tempted to change my loss to a win. However, I believe that there are certain core requisites for a win, such as doing my morning pages.
This morning I did do my morning pages, followed by the usual routine. I spent 4 hours in the studio working on one of my projects.
I came up with an idea for a possible schedule adjustment. I'm going to have 40 more dollars a month because I'm ceasing my Sprint internet service. My idea was to keep my budget the same, and work 5 hours a week less and use those 5 hours (1 each day), to work on my book. This would take effect at the beginning of my next budget cycle, which nicely coincides with the completion of Artist's Way (a week and a half from now). This way I'd only have class, 1/2 hour of admin, 1/2 hour of cleaning, and homework to complete after work. That will be more sustainable.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 113-9
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: Damn these Wednesdays! Nah, I don't know what to say. I've been getting little sleep lately due to unforeseen stuff that has to be dealt with, and when I don't get sleep, I lose my power to be virtuous. The main thing here is that I didn't write my morning pages again and I drank 2 (I'm so ashamed) raspberry mochas today. But from now until when I go to sleep, I'm going to be going all out so that I can be excellent at class.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 113-8
Streak: Won 6

Summary: Motivational thought--what if the fate of humanity depended on you? Or, before you say "fuck it" and get a raspberry mocha, make sure you're OK with the idea that you're shrugging off the course of the world by succumbing to that opiate-like haze.
Today was a day of exceptions, because unexpected things happened. My car malfunctioned last night while leaving school, so I didn't get home until very late. Thus, I gave myself an excused absence from the dining room table during morning pages time. Then, after work, I had to deal with the car and get it to a garage, which ate up a ton of time. Even with my modified schedule, I still did all right: bike, work, weight at 172, French, homework, cleaning, and later I will do a bit of admin, probably tax return. I came perilously close to losing today, because partially through work I started thinking, "dude, today is so fucked up because of the car and because of ... (yet another thing that happened which I won't get into here), so just chill for today, and get back on the horse tomorrow." Then the thoughts from above occurred to me, and I decided to act as though the fate of the world depended on me.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 112-8
Streak: Won 5

Summary: Morning pages, biked, worked hard, weighed in at 173, did French, biked home, made lunch, going to class. Maintained good attitude

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 111-8
Streak: Won 4

Summary: Nice day off.

Weekly summary: Overall, I'd say this week was more productive than last week, although I got that loss. The loss was on a technicality, and other than that, Wednesday was a productive day. The only things I'm going to try to do differently next week are that I'm going to reduce my AW exercises time by 1 1/2 hours and make sure that I have a quality artist's date. I should finish my French program this week.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 110-8
Streak: Won 3

Summary: I came online looking for updates of peoples' shit, and there was nothing. What happened to your quest for the perfect week Dan? Today was workman-like. Nothing special. The shitty thing was how long it took me to get to the point where I could start reading, which is right after I'm done this post. But the important thing is that once again I freed up my Sunday so I will chillax hardcore all day tomorrow.
In my morning pages I had an outpouring of inspiration concerning scheduling. First of all, I'm going to cut down my weekly AW exercise time. I'm going to do 45 minutes on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but Saturday's will be mainly preparing for the following week (only two weeks left of the official program!). Actually, let me back up a little bit. Ah fuck it, this isn't that interesting to anyone else. I want to read. I'll write more tomorrow.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 109-8
Streak: Won 2

Summary: I have maintained a great working attitude the whole day. I finished my French for the week, started organizing my summer studio application, made a deposit, now I'm going to make dinner, and afterwards I'm going to create my grocery list, work on my homework for class, and do AW stuff.
Somehow my weight went up between yesterday and today. Now I'm at 172. That's pretty awesome in the larger context, but still, I wanted to be at 170 today. 2 pounds is not a huge difference though. I don't understand why I got heavier especially after my Rockyesque workout on Thursday.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 108-8
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I came back with a huge victory today. At work I stacked the burlap coffee bags myself, which is something I didn't even think I was capable of. They're 180 pounds of shifting weight. I actually managed to stack them 3 and 4 high on pallets. Today I earned my Rocky Balboa moniker.
I weighed in at 171, which is a new record. With all that crazy lifting, it's completely possible that tomorrow I'll be at 170 or 169. I did all the normal stuff. Additionally, I cleaned up in the kitchen, did some misc. admin, and bought a wireless card. That should save me 40$ a month.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 107-8
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: Automatic loss--didn't do my morning pages. I went to bed on time last night, so I don't know what happened. When I woke up I was zombie-tired, and my decision was instant. When I lay back down I was asleep immediately, and then I even pressed snooze twice after my extra 45 minutes. The only thing I can think of is that I might be getting sick. I'm stuffy today and don't feel great.
Just because I got the loss doesn't mean I'm quitting for the day. I'm still going to try to be productive.
Nice job Dan on two straight 5s. That's out of control (or, to be more precise, ridiculously in control).

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 107-7
Streak: Won 10

Summary: First of all, +1 raspberry mocha to Dan if he makes it until Friday. Second of all, Dan's posts are valued by me, and at times they give me inspiration, so to Dan: don't stop posting.
Tomorrow I'm going to make an adjustment. On Monday and Wednesday I have class. I need to leave here at 5. What I tried to do Monday was leave work at 3:45 so I could be home at 4, do AW stuff until 4:45 in order to fulfill my daily allotted time, eat for 15 minutes and then leave. There were several problems with that. #1: it puts me at a 15 minute time deficit at work which is a hassle, both practically and psychologically. #2: I am so flustered from running around in such a tight time space that I am not breathing deeply or just pacing myself in a healthy way, #3: it's too fast to eat. I got indigestion from doing it. #4: (and this is the most important one of all), when I got home from class, which is around 10, I still had to make my lunch, post, brush my teeth, and switch the contents of my bag. This meant that I didn't go to sleep until around 10:45. That's horrible, and I suffered from the consequences today. So instead, I'll leave work at 4, take care of lunch and posting between 4 and 5, eat my food at a slower pace, and to make up the AW time, since I won't get a chance to work on that Mondays and Wednesdays, I'll do 1 and a half hours on Thursday and Friday. The AW thing will soon cease to be an issue since I'll be done in two weeks. Also, next week is my last week in my French program and then I'm done. I weighed in at 172--I can see myself breaking 170 any day!

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 106-7
Streak: Won 9

Summary: Pages, morning preparations, drive to work (snow), work, treated myself to a raspberry mocha, weighed in at 174 (best starting weight yet!), 15 minutes of French, printed my homework assignment for one of my classes, 45 minutes of AW, my two classes, made lunch, and now I'm off to bed.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 105-7
Streak: Won 8

Summary: Today was so glorious. This was totally perfect. Just relaxing all day, getting up late, eating fresh scones, jam, and tea, reading Philadelphia magazine, went for a long walk in the snow, ... , made a stir-fry, now we're going to walk to the movie store, get ice cream and a movie, and watch that until bed time.

Weekly Summary: First of all, in response to Dan's challenge: I don't want to do it. "My answer is no, and my no is final". I'll tell you why. I have come to believe that our vitality requires kindness and forgiveness from ourselves, and to strive for such a controlling state is harsh and destructive. I obviously value discipline, but an intelligent discipline which is flexible and forgiving. Having come to this conclusion, one thing I am going to start doing next week is factor these virtues into my decision about whether or not I "won". In other words, a win, from now on, will not only require discipline and a hardcore work ethic, but it will also require flexibility, forgiveness, and kindness.
This week was great, perfect in a way. I did everything I wanted to. Well, actually that's not entirely true, since last night I ended up using the whole night to work on my homework assignment for class, which meant that I didn't get a chance to read. This is unfortunate, but I'm not going to penalize myself for it, since I used the time for something else which is actually more pressing at the moment. Hopefully next week I can read more. I just want to make sure that I do the same thing next week as far as freeing up Sunday completely, so that I can have another day as restful as today.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 104-7
Streak: Won 7

Summary: Today I got up leisurely, did my morning pages, performed my morning toilette, ate, went grocery shopping, made my lunches for next week, cleaned up, did a bit of laundry, did my 45 minutes of AW, next I'm going to do an hour of "b", then read my AW for next week, read my ass off until Eva gets home, and then chillax. I'm reading a French grammar text, and there's a chance that I'll finish tonight, which would be glorious.
Regarding your challenge Dan...I'm thinking about it. I'll let you know definitely in tomorrow's post. I don't even have enough ducats to buy you a raspberry mocha, but maybe I could save up for a while before we meet up next time. Dude, a 5 for me is a 5 for you, I'm pretty sure. I would say even if you leave the house a minute late, you don't get a 5. My 5 is a fascist 5. You can't be out of step even in the slightest detail. Like my breech of silence would certainly warrant failure. Not getting up absolutely promptly and crisply would result in failure. Lingering the shower on a tired morning for even a minute would result in failure. Any little thing. Are you up for that? I might be up for that. I'll have to let you know tomorrow.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 103-7
Streak: Won 6

Summary: Today, at least so far, has been a blow-out win. Viewers might have turned off their TVs because it's not even competitive.
I did my morning pages in excellent fashion, ate a great breakfast, biked to work quickly to make up for leaving the house a minute late (I did get there on time), worked hard, weighed in at 172, did 15 minutes of French, worked more, biked to the art supply store to pick up supplies for class, organized my school shit, made a deposit, folded/hung up some laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned up the kitchen, completed my French lesson for the week (it was a super-long one), and made dinner. After dinner, I will write some letters, go on my artist's date, make a grocery list for tomorrow, and perhaps put in some time on AW exercises.
I want to tell the story of the raspberry mocha. For the whole week I have been intensely craving a raspberry mocha. I don't know why, but I was. Because I'm really trying to push my fitness goals to make up for the holidays, I decided that I'm not allowed to have one this week. However, despite my resolution, my mind was screaming for one from the second I walked in on Monday until I clocked out this afternoon. Well, fuck you mocha--I won. Here's my challenge for next week: break 170. Keep in mind, last year my end goal was 180. I've already surpassed that by 8 pounds, which is great, but I still feel slightly fat-fuckish so I need to keep going.
This Sunday I'm going to have an intense relaxation session. I will have completed every task for the week, so I won't feel guilty or anxious. Just relaxing. I've already said, I'm not driving anywhere Sunday. And since football is over, things will be even-keeled.
I'm flirting with the idea of demanding 100% perfection from myself next week. I've already talked about perfectionism and its crippling effect, so in a way I think it's bad to make such a goal. But then again, this week was near perfect, and perhaps I could look at it as a game, and if I don't do it, then it's still OK, because I can get a win without a 100%. If I did it, that would mean 7 straight 5s. Can you believe that shit? The 5 was mythical last year. Achieving my first one (last year) took such a monumental expenditure of energy that I recall crashing and stopping my system the day after. This year I've gotten a handful of "5s", without being annihilated by them. But 7 straight? Wow, that would be out of hand.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 102-7
Streak: Won 5

Summary: This morning was another time when I almost went back to bed after turning off the alarm clock, but I triumphed again. I've basically been sticking to my schedule perfectly so far this week. Class seems good. It's additional time and money, but it's worth it. I weighed in at 173 today. It's great because ever after all the holidays and stuff, I'm right back to where I was before.
There was a classic example of breech of silence today. I was in a group of my co-workers, and one of them said she was going to Trader Joe's. She asked me if I wanted anything. In response, I said, "Well, there are definitely things I want, but I shouldn't because I don't have any money." That was completely unnecessary, and beyond that, it was unethical. First of all, I shouldn't complain about my situation, ever. Unless I feel wronged and expect my grievance to redress the situation, I shouldn't complain. I view what I said as an indirect complaint. Also, no one needs to know about my financial status, and not just for my privacy, but for their own sake as well. It's pathetic and annoying. The proper response would have been, "no, but thanks for offering."

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 101-7
Streak: Won 4

Summary: I'm posting early because I want to go to bed promptly after returning from class. One of my books still hasn't arrived, which is annoying, and I also spent time trying to deal with that, which messed up my schedule a little bit. I did my morning pages and followed my principles, I'll probably get at least 20 minutes of AW in before leaving, and class counts for my "b" time for the day.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 100-7
Streak: Won 3

Summary: 100 wins feels good. It simultaneously feels like it was a short time and a long time. I did my pages, ate breakfast, biked, worked, studied French for 15 minutes, logged a few extra minutes at work, biked home, did an hour of GRE, did AW exercises for 45 minutes, cooked an epic dinner (I'm still working on it--fried sage and winter squash soup), and after this I'm going to finish dinner, eat, make my lunch, do my nightly dental stuff, and then go to bed. Tomorrow I start classes at AACC.
For my AW exercise I have to create a collage with images of myself next to images representative of my ideal life, and specifically, of what it would be like if your dream came true. So tonight I printed out pictures of Terri Gross and Fresh Air interviewing someone in the studio, took pictures of myself, printed those out, and then cut them and taped them onto the Fresh Air pictures. I made a photo sequence, and it's hilarious.

Outcome: Win
Record: 99-7
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Normal stuff. Strategy worked. Great moment this morning: alarm went off, I felt like a truck had hit me, I capitulated in my mind--I actually decided to let myself go back to bed. I stood up, shut off the alarm clock, and almost commenced a shameful beginning to the week. Then miraculously, I got up and started working. Hell yeah.

Outcome for 1/13: "Loss"
Outcome for 1/14: "Win"
Record: 98-7
Streak: Won 1

Summary: Yesterday sucked and that's the end of the commentary for yesterday. Today I was impressed with my ability to get back on the horse. I did my morning pages, created a dinner menu for the week that should be fun and increase my culinary knowledge, went shopping, made my lunches for next week, studied GRE for 2 1/2 hours, read my AW lesson for next week, and soon I'm going to get into bed.

Weekly Summary: My mind completely rebelled against myself Friday and Saturday. Well, more like my emotions rebelled. My head just went ape-shit. Perfectionism was frothing and rampaging in my mind Saturday, which contributed to my loss. I thought of a new idea. I am a perfectionist. I would like to solve that problem, and I would be better off if I was able to, but in the meantime, perhaps I can channel it. This is how I propose to channel it: I divide myself into two minds. In the one mind, I am the "coach", Andy Reid. In this mind I create schedules, to-do lists, and strategies, using what I know to be effective and humane principles. Then I turn myself over to my other mind, or the "player" mind. In this mind I am emotional and passionate. In this mind, I allow myself to be a perfectionist, that is, I challenge myself to follow perfectly the un-perfectionist game plan that I created as a "coach". It worked today, because today I tried it.
There were some interesting comments about discipline that the author of Artist's Way Made concerning discipline, comments that are relevant to our discussion about virtue. However, I want to wait to see how my own projects pan out before I post them, sort of as a test.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 97-6
Streak: Won 9

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 96-6
Streak: Won 8

Summary: God damn, I had the worst attitude today, and I mean attitude in the semi-technical sense in which we were discussing it between our virtue blogs. From the moment I got up, it came out in the morning pages, it plagued me at work, and now I'm agitated because of it. It seems not to have any real cause, but then again, mood seems to be inherently erratic. The good thing was that I overcame my attitude. I just leaned on reason and the Andy Reid strategy of focusing on small, concrete tasks in a workman-like fashion, without thinking about the big picture, or what-ifs, or if I'm going to fail, etc. Andy Reid is my life coach at the moment.
Zut alors, J'ai eu la plus mauvaise attitude aujourd'hui, et je utilise le mot "attitude" en la sense demi-technique comme nouse descutions entre nos blogs des vertues.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 95-6
Streak: Won 7

Summary: Morning pages, healthy breakfast, bike, intense labor at work, weigh in at 175, 15 minutes of French, 1 letter, 1/2 hour admin, 45 minutes Artist's Way, 1 hour GRE, make lunch, dinner.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 94-6
Streak: Won 6

Summary: I'll do the French when I have time--tonight I don't have time. Morning pages, breakfast, bike, work, weigh-in at 175, French for 15 minutes, bike, AW for 45 minutes, budget for next 30 days, lunch for tomorrow, GRE for 1 hour, then dinner and rest of the evening off.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 93-6
Streak: Won 5

Summary: It was nice to be back on schedule, and I had a strong first day of the week. Everything was routine, but routine is excellent. Yeah, awesome picture of Dawkins. He's a daily inspiration to me. I set that picture as my wallpaper at work. I did my morning pages, ate a healthy breakfast, worked hard at work, weighed in at 176, started my French for the week, came home, did 45 minutes of AW, 1 hour of GRE, and then picked up Eva.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 92-6
Streak: Won 4

Summary: I got up late and watched a lot of football on my day-off. Go Eagles! I still observed my principles and set myself up nicely for next week. For the remainder of the evening I plan to read.
Je me suis leve tard et ai observe beaucoup du football americaine pendant mon jour de conge. Vont Les Aigles ! J'ai toujours observe mes principes et ai me prepare bien pour la semaine prochaine. Pour le reste du soir je planifie a lire.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 91-6
Streak: Won 3

Summary: Today was mostly a vacation-style day since my dad and sister are here. We watched both football games. I still observed my principles, and later I will probably work on some French/GRE/AW to finish-off the week.
Aujourd'hui c'etait, pour la plupart, un jour de vacance parce que mon pere et ma soeur sont ici. Nous regardons les deux jeux de football americaine. J'ai encore observe mes principaux, et ce soir je vais probablement faire du francais/GRE/AW afin de finir la semaine.

Outcome: “Win”
Record: 90-6
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Little built-in, routine activities that are virtuous are great because they only take a few minutes each day, but they add up to something substantial. Like my French for 15 minutes at lunch every day at work. I’m learning French just by habitually utilizing a small space of time that is routinely available to me. Biking is the same way. Actually, biking is even better because it both accomplishes a necessary task while giving me extra bonuses on the side. In the spirit of what I’m talking about, from now on, I’m going to write a dual-language version of my blog, while still keeping the time to a minimum.
I realized today that I am impoverished, literally. I live below the poverty line. I always pictured people living below the poverty line as subsisting in these dilapidated shacks, suffering, looking out from their porches with ghost-like eyes. Well, I am the picture of poverty. Ha! For some reason, this thought is endlessly amusing to me. Well, it’s not really funny at all when anyone is poor, but I don’t suffer too much. I have my basics taken care of.
Aujourd’hui, j’ai realise que je suis pauvre, serieusement. Je vis en bas de la ligne de pauvrete. Je toujours m’imaginais ce que les gens qui vivant en bas de la ligne de pauvrete comme subsistant dans ces maisons effondrement, regardant dehors avec les yeux de fantomes.
Ca c’est bien. Plus en retard.
Oh yeah, plus, I did my shopping tonight, and I made my lunches, so no more food bullshit like earlier this week.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 89-6
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I just got myself back on track today. My first objective was to eat healthfully and go to bed early. I'm going to bed after I post. As for tomorrow, I don't know...there might be no chance, no chance...that I can fail! So I expect a win.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 88-6
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: Today wasn't all that bad in terms of production, but crucial things were lacking. I completed a tough day at work, and when I got home I plowed through my list of administrative tasks and studied for the GRE. The reason I gave myself a loss was, first, that I was sloppy with my diet today and ate pastries and cookies and shit at work, second, I should have done Artist's Way exercises and I didn't (I opted to watch a movie instead), and third, in general my vigor was lacking. I'm not too worried about this, mainly because I can identify very specific and probable causes of my recent struggles. First, I didn't do my normal grocery shopping this week and my diet has suffered as a result. This weekend I should go again and get back on track. Second, I didn't get much sleep at all this weekend, and I've been sleep deprived since then (even right now). Like the first thing, it'll probably take the weekend to restore this. I'm going to try hard tomorrow, and like I said, this wasn't a horrible loss or anything, but I just had to be honest with myself.
These past few days have reminded me how important diet and sleep are. I already knew this, but it's nice to be reminded. My theory is that if I get excellent sleep, diet, and exercise, I will probably have a 20:1 win/loss ratio, but if I slack on even one of those, I will have closer to a 2:1 win/loss ratio. That's how big those things are to me.

Outcome for the last three days: "Win, Loss, Win"
Record: 88-5
Streak: Won 1

Summary: It may have been a bad idea to go to Philly for a night and an afternoon. It threw everything off schedule, and I just can't keep myself together--I get so depressed when I leave, I just loose control. I said so much bullshit on Monday. I didn't mean most of the things I said. Like, that stuff I said over the phone to Dan was basically me speaking out of my ass. I bought a bunch of junk, neglected to do my grocery shopping, and stayed up late, which made my sleep deprivation from the last three days even worse. Whatever, it was still fun. I doubt I'll be going back to Philly again until May. The only exception would be if the Eagles were in the Super Bowl, in which case I think I'd go back up to watch.
It seems that my sense of new beginning was off-set by one day from the calendar, because today, not yesterday, felt like the start of a new year. In the spirit of new starts, I'm going to offer a new articulation of what it means when I give myself a win. I think I can boil down a win into three criteria. All three must be fulfilled in order to qualify.
#1, I must be ethical. I must always give proportionate attention to the important things, or the things most worth honoring/protecting/preserving. Without ethics you're not doing shit, at best, and you're ruining the world at worst.
#2, I must be strategic. Specifically, this means that I must do what will produce the best result objectively speaking. This sounds obvious, but it might be the hardest of my three. By default I live in accordance with aesthetics. I don't know if I can explain this (I tried in the past). Basically, if what I'm saying makes sense, I must recognize my aesthetic impulses and put them aside for more flexible and strategic approaches when striving to accomplish my goals.
#3, I must be vigorous. Fundamentally, if I opt out of doing something because I didn't feel like it, I get a loss. This is what I was saying the other day about laziness. But not only must I do what I should do, but I must do it "like a man", as the Godfather might see it, for example. I can't pussyfoot around and do half-assed work. I need to produce excellent work on every project and take pride in what I do. I can't say, "no chance, no chance!"(Godfather reference).

Outcome for 12/30: “Win”
Record: 86-4
Streak: Won 22

Summary: My willpower has been potent lately, which is great. I basically obey my own commands, which, as we all know, is harder than it sounds. I spent much of the day in Washington with an old friend from St. John’s. It was awesome. I have to say that my opinion of Washington has been raised dramatically. We walked through some beautiful areas, ate some great food, and later we checked out this huge cathedral which was stunning. It was massive. I think it’s called the National Cathedral, but I’m not sure. So yeah, Washington seems like a winner after all.

Week in Review: I came back after break with great discipline. All of these holidays are nice, but they also throw things off schedule. Like tomorrow, I’m going up to Philly, so tomorrow and the next day are going to be non-working days, and I need to adjust everything around that. It’ll still be fun. Next week I want to continue my good discipline. Actually, much of this week was perfect and I can’t think of too much I’d like to improve on.

Year in Review: I’m doing this now because I won’t be near a computer tomorrow. Hmmm, where to start...Overall I’ve made tremendous progress this year, even though at times it seemed I wasn’t getting anywhere. To illustrate this, I’m going to describe where I was at the beginning and where I am now.
At the beginning of the year, I was in a shameful state. My will had lost all of its power, and I was basically dreaming up fantastic plans without being able to execute. My bank account was nearly empty, I was overweight, I was getting ready to start at the SPCA, which was the shittiest job I’ve ever had, my book still hadn’t really taken off, I didn’t have any viable long term plans, I lacked etiquette and self-awareness in many situations (I was basically a barbarian) and I had no phone, internet, or car.
Currently, I’ve improved in nearly every area: the biggest thing is that I’ve developed a realistic, yet effective system. I have complete confidence now that I can execute any of the plans that I dream up, which is liberating in a way. My bank account is comfortable, I’m nearly at ideal weight, I’ve lost well over 20 pounds, I have a decent and stable day job, I got some hours at an awesome green building firm, I’m 33% done a very presentable version of the book, I’m over half-way done with a writing program that I expect to pay huge dividends, I’ve formulated a viable plan-b, I’ve signed up for Spring classes to further that plan, I’ve found summer programs to further that plan, I’ve made a big initial push on my GRE prep, I learned conversational French, I’ve learned a ton of domestic skills and shed my barbarian style to an extent, I’ve read a lot, and I’ve hooked up all my practical stuff so that I can concentrate on work without worrying about those things as much.
I’m trying to remember the books I’ve read this year. Here are a few: The Dubliners, Nichomachean Ethics, Spinoza’s Ethics, huge chunks of the Tanakh, sections from the Talmud, Crime and Punishment, After the Empire, How to Read a Book, Leaves of Grass, Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, a few Roman authors in the same volume as the Aurelius whose names I can’t remember, a shit-load of Emerson essays, Nature, Walden, On Walking, Franklin’s Autobiography, several books inspectionally read (don’t know if that counts)…shit I don’t know, I don’t really remember. While I did read a decent amount, it wasn’t enough. Right away, without proceeding to general evaluation, I can say that I didn’t read enough. That’s going to be a huge goal of next year. I want to read more and read better. I’m going to apply the How to Read a Book method, and begin my three book cycle. The first book will be selected from a pool of modern works that I inspectionally read. The one that seems the most likely to increase my understanding will be read analytically. The second book will be a French book read to improve elementary reading ability. I’ll probably do the Harry Potter books. The third book will be a great book read analytically and will include a written response to my experience reading it. Then I’ll start over with a contemporary book.
General evaluation: I’m just really happy with what I did. Emotionally I feel like I grew a lot this year. I look back over my old posts and I see myself now as being much more stable and effective. That’s the key. I plan to do great things, so I need to develop a way to execute, which I have. The lack of reading might be my biggest area for improvement.
Looking forward:
French--I’ll finish my current 15-minute a day program in five weeks, at which point I’ll probably just start over with the beginner one and cycle back and forth between them. In my leisure time I will continue to watch French movies, speak French with Eva, and perhaps I will seek a conversation group next year. Of course, my three book cycle will include a French book, which will greatly improve my reading knowledge.
Writing--I’ll finish Artist’s Way in February, at which point I’m going back to an hour a day, six hours a week (Sunday off). It doesn’t sound like a lot, but I got a lot done within that time frame in October and November, so it should come quickly. Plus I expect my output to increase dramatically after the completion of AW. I realistically expect to be sending out manuscripts to publishers next winter.
Green building--first I’m taking the GRE and beginning my classes. In March I will apply to summer studios, and then in the fall I will apply to grad school, unless the book or Dan and Derek’s program become 7+ figure ventures, in which case it’s all Rittenhouse Square all the time.
Fitness/Health--I will reduce my weight until I reach a point where I think my body looks like it’s in good shape. I don’t know when that will be. Maybe around 165? I think that should be in the neighborhood. And once I hit that mark, then I’m going to start accumulating my gentleman’s wardrobe, which leads me to the next point.
Etiquette/Presentation--I want to purchase some etiquette texts and strive to become a gentleman. In terms of appearance, I’m going to stop dressing like a riff-raff and where nice clothing (made in Philadelphia).
Money--I don’t expect to come out of next year with a big surplus, mainly because there are big expenses on the horizon. Summer studio is 2500, plus GRE fees and application fees and tuition for classes, etc. BUT, I expect to be able to cover all my expenses as a result of careful management and budgeting. The one possible change to this would be if the program blows up and I have shares and I become a billionaire.
Where will I be at this time next year? Here’s a best-possible-scenario sketch, based on what I know right now. I will be chilling in my nicely decorated Center City apartment. I will already have a complete manuscript of my book and will be shopping it around to different agents. I will have already gotten into a grad program and will be working at a green building firm in Philly to build my skills. Eva and I will still be together and happy. I will be dressing, speaking, and acting like a gentleman. I will be fluent in French. I will have written several philosophical essays in response to my re-reading of the great books. I will generally have a broader understanding of the world. I will be fit and healthy.
I’m not going to make an emotionally charged declaration about how much ass I’m going to kick starting Sunday at midnight, because I have discovered that I do much better when I use a calm and methodical approach. So I will continue what I’m doing, continue striving to master myself, increase my understanding, accommodate changes, and report my progress here.
Good luck to everyone else, keep posting, and let’s be like Rocky Balboa!

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 85-4
Streak: Won 21

Summary: Almost a 5-day under the old system. So I have this co-worker who is an immigrant from Malaysia, and he's an awesome dude. Hanging with him is definitely one of the pluses about going to work. Anyway, he gave me one of the best compliments anyone has ever given me. We were moving a bunch of really heavy shit from a storage locker for several hours. At one point, as we were straining to get this old fridge into the van, he goes, "Dang man...you crazy, you're like Rocky Balboa!" That was amazing. That's not a bad comparison at all, except I hope I'm not as dumb as Rocky is. Another story about this dude: he uses the phrase "action packed" for so many things, and I think it's great. Like, if we page our pseudo-secretary, and she gets back to us very fast, he says, "Wow ____, you action packed!" Or if an order is extraordinarily large, it's "action packed". The Redskins this year, which is his team, are not action packed. I myself strive to have action packed days, and by action I mean conscious living.
I rocked my morning pages, biked, worked, finished my French for the week, got a crazy workout at work, weighed in at 175, biked home, made some deposits (inorganic), dropped off the rent, performed other miscellaneous tasks, plowed through a large section of the GRE book, wrote an e-mail for "b", spent several hours doing AW exercises, read Fate by Emerson, and now I'm going to watch Un Long Dimanche de Fiancailles and go to bed. I'd say it was an action packed day.
Oh, one more thing: so I remember that plan that Dan and I had about blasting Wu-Tang every morning in the apartment and jumping up and down on each others heads if we didn't get up. What would be even better, I think, is to have the theme song from Rocky set to start blaring at a certain time, say 6, and just wake up the apartment that way. ...dah-dah-danna-dah-danna-dah-danana...DAH-DAH-DANNA-DAH-DANNA-DAH-DANANA...and so on. I was hearing that shit blasting in my head this morning when I woke up, and I was so fired up, I probably could have tackled Brian Westbrook in the open field. I rode my bike with so much intensity, it was great. That would be the realest shit. Every day would be action packed.
*Update* Wow. Holy shit. How have I not heard of this movie? Check it out, seriously. The English title is A Very Long Engagement. It'll make you feel like an even bigger asshole for ever wasting a day.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 84-4
Streak: Won 20

Summary: Another solid day, although my state of mind was more volatile. My schedule right now is 1 1/2 hours of AW, which includes the mandatory 45 min. morning pages, 1 hour on "b", 1/2 hour cleaning, 1/2 hour dealing with administrative crap, 15 min. on French, and the remainder is free, which would ideally be used to read. My AW was solid today; for b I wrote an e-mail, stopped into an architecture office, and studied for the GRE; French I caught up to where I should be; and for my admin I went to the dentist after a long period of time without seeing one. It seems that I've been doing a good job taking care of my teeth, or I got lucky, because everything looks good. I haven't mentioned this before, but I require myself to perform a dental hygiene routine every morning and evening in order to get a win. My weight was 177.

Outcome for 12/26: "Win"
Record, as of 12/27: 83-4
Streak: Won 19
I have to give myself another win for Tuesday, because I really did do a good job maintaining my composure and getting the shit done that I had to get done, despite my crushing sadness at having to return to Acrapolis.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 82-4
Streak: Won 18

Summary: It was depressing driving southbound on 95, away from Philly. Ugh. But I came back, and I did a nice job getting back into the program. Actually, I maintained a near-perfect state of mind for much of the day. I was calm, feeling no anxiety, yet at each moment I was being deadly efficient, just doing each task without protest or distracting thoughts, applying the most rational strategy that presented itself to me.
My weight was bad--179.6--but not as bad as I expected. I gain weight very fast. I once gained over 10 pounds in 5 days while visiting San Francisco. Now I'm back on track, and I know for sure that there will be no delays between now and when I hit my goal. I did a solid hour on "b", 1/2 hour cleaning, 1/2 hour planning for something, 45 minutes on AW, and I made my lunch, had dinner, etc. I wish I could maintain my current state of mind forever. It's like I know for sure that I'm going to get to the pinnacle, and I'm not worried or stressed or panicked, because I just know it's going to happen. It's like having faith, maybe. I'm rolling, one day at a time. I'm applying Andy Reid and Rocky's strategies: Andy Reid's in the sense that I'm focusing on one day at a time, not getting too high or too low, treating myself with respect, and taking the attitude that I don't have time to despair or look for moral victories. Rocky's in the sense that I'm going to keep going at it no matter how many times I get knocked down. I feel like if you have the right state of mind, you could get knocked down an infinite amount of times and it would phase you less than a person with a worse attitude if they got hit just once. Maybe this is some Marcus Aurelius shit too. But I'm reminding myself that only I can make myself despair and give up, and nothing else matters--not the number of victories or failures. That's the way to victory in the long run.

Outcome for last three days: "Win, win, win"
Record: 81-4
Streak: Won 17

Summary: This has been an incredible Christmas break. Traffic was a breeze on Friday coming up here, and when I arrived, I had a delicious meal at Pinnochios and accomplished my shopping in one quick and pleasantly nostalgic trip to Granite Run. Then the next day, Dan and I made an awesome tour of Philly. Started at 30th street, walked to the Cira Center, clipped the corner of the Penn campus, walked over the South Street Bridge, walked up the Schuykill trail around the back of the Art Museum, walked up the Parkway, stopped at Eakins Oval, got a La Colombe, walked through Rittenhouse, checked out the Gross Clinic, which was amazing, walked to Sarcone's, where I enjoyed a hoagie (Dan thought it was garbage), walked down 9th Rocky style, checked out Passyunk Square, walked back up Passyunk, went to Borders, studied and talked, walked down Broad to South, admired the architecture, got a Lorenzo's, ate at Harmony, rode the R3 back, drove around with Derek, and then watched Rocky 6. Right there, that was awesome. That was almost as cool, in one day, as last year's Boston/New York trip was in 4 days. Go Philly.
Next day: I got up liesurely, hung out with Aaron for a while, did Christmas presents and stuff with my family, and then I drove to Josh's house in Havertown, got Wawa, played Resident Evil 4, and then beat Mega Man 1 and 6. That was a nice day with family and friends.
Today: Got up and had the family Christmas party at the house. Very nice. And then, of course, I got to witness the Eagles dominate the Cowboys and deliver one of my best Christmas presents ever. Tomorrow I go back, and while I'd like to stay more, it was an awesome weekend, with Philly showing up like a champion. We saved the Eakins, our city is awesome, Rocky's actually all right, and the Eagles are currently the division leaders.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 78-4
Streak: Won 14

Outcome for the city of Philadelphia on 12/21: "WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
http://www.philamuseum.org/press/releases/2006/559.html

Hell yeah! This is amazing. We're keeping the painting. I'm so glad that it's staying. I'm kind of speechless. New York lost it's painting, but Philadelphia, yes PHILADELPHIA, came together to keep ours. To be fair, New York didn't have the same chance we did...oh fuck it, this isn't about any of that. The Gross Clinic is staying in Philadelphia!

Outcome for 12/21: "Win"
Record: 77-4
Streak: Won 13

Outcome for 12/20: Win
Record: 76-4
Streak: Won 12

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/19/AR2006121901769.html

Look at the two maps. Specifically, see how Philadelphia has shifted zones. This is perhaps the most depressing thing to me out of all the issues that we face at the present moment. I don't just mean plant ecology, but the disruption of the planet in general. It hits me in a very sentimental place when I imagine a Philadelphia of the near future that lacks the snows and trees that I enjoyed as a child. Honestly, and anyone that knows me knows this, I would do anything for Philadelphia. I love it and I want to fight for it. But there's one thing that might make me consider moving to Montreal, or Alaska, which is if the climate and landscape become unrecognizable to me. I just couldn't tolerate it. I'd work on Philadelphia's behalf remotely, but I don't know if I could be happy living there in that circumstance. I don't know why, but I have such a connection with the old landscape and weather that I remember from my childhood. Aside from St. John's, which I loved, I hated living in Santa Fe. Everyone else thought it was beautiful, but I thought it was straight up ugly. It's a barren wasteland. I don't care how blue the sky is. I want a thick green northeast foliage, flowing creeks, and blanketing snow in the winter. That's my aesthetic, and I can't live without it. It makes me absolutely furious that humanity might have ruined this for me. And from a non-selfish point of view, it's deeply shameful that we have allowed the world to get to this point.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 75-4
Streak: Won 11

Summary: Here's something I think we can all agree about, regardless of our personal philosophies: let us never fail to do a thing because of laziness. Different philosophies will produce different sets of "things" and different ways to accomplish them. Perhaps Dan thinks he should accomplish 20 things in a day, whereas I might think that I should accomplish 10 things in a day. If we both accomplish our things, to say that one or both of us is shameful is really saying our philosophies and our personal expectations were flawed. But if one of us falls short of his target due to the fact that he didn't feel like it, that's dishonorable. It seems to me that, fundamentally, to neglect a task for the sole reason that you didn't feel like it (assuming that you weren't sick or something like that) is shameful.
There was a line in Artist's Way that deeply resonated with me, and I want to post it here. It reads, "Like most blocked creatives, he suffered from a deadly duo: artistic anorexia and prideful perfectionism." My understanding of artistic anorexia is that it's martyring yourself for the sake of something or someone else, constantly denying yourself pleasure and stimulation. I imagine guilt goes along with this (feeling like it's bad and indulgent to be creative). Anyway, I've been meditating on that passage since I read it. I think it's true, #1, and I think that it would be of great value for me to work on this, #2. So, now I'm working on it, and it's tough to break those tendencies.
I worked, did French, biked, enjoyed little things throughout the day, did laundry, cleaned, spent an hour practicing for the GRE, and after dinner I'm going to spend time with Artist's Way and perhaps my French grammar book if there's time.
My cappuccino was actually a latte today. Sometimes I have difficulty getting the micro-bubbles that the really good baristas there get. The drink was still delicious. For dinner I'm going to make rice and try a new peanut sauce that I picked up from Whole Foods. I've also been enjoying a radio station on the internet that plays Persian music. I'll listen to that while I'm eating dinner.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 74-4
Streak: Won 10

Summary: I got sick last night, which messed up my schedule a little bit. I still did well today. I worked hard at work, got a great start on my French, cleaned up at the apartment, and wrote my pages. I'm about to go to bed and get a ton of sleep. I hope that I'm 100%.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 73-4
Streak: Won 9

Summary: E-A-G-L-E-S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekly Summary: I was reminded of a few important principles this week. One is that we must remember that the universe is fundamentally mysterious. We must approach the world with the wonder of a child and restrain ourselves from trying to build a tower of Babel. Simple curiosity, playfulness, lightness, and creativity are essential. Perfection and domination are concepts that are toxic to the soul. I must remember the important things and head into next week with a Socratic mind. We must not be like Faust, the false idol of the modern age.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 72-4
Streak: Won 8
Summary: There's a difference between anger and discipline--I was angry earlier in the week when I made that post about tightening my criteria. I had been doing fantastically well up until that point, largely because I found a system that works, and I think that it would be unwise to undermine that. I still think that I could use more discipline, but the anger is not valuable. So that's the key, discipline, while still retaining my flexibility. So the scoring remains the same--an overall intuitive "pass" or "fail".

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 71-4
Streak: Won 7

Summary: I've been rising to the challenge that I put to myself. I figured out an effective way to utilize my PDA, so it's staying, for now. 1 hour on GRE, 1 1/2 hours on AW, including morning pages, virtuous work, admin, and tonight Eva and I have our private Hanukka party. Roller coaster day emotionally, but I kept plugging away, laughing in the face of my weak emotions. Or, as one of the Patriot's players said to describe their shutout loss to Miami, "they punched us in the face and made us like it." Well, I kept punching my weak and destructive emotions in the face and made them like it.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 70-4
Streak: Won 6

Summary: Normal stuff..weight in same as Monday

All right, I want to raise the ante here--bring up the intensity. From now on, starting after I post, only an effort worthy of a 5 will result in a win. Here are some specific things that must happen: I must follow my policies 100% throughout the day, both the major and minor ones. So if I get into bed a minute late, automatic loss. I must follow my schedule 100%. I must make a schedule to begin with, otherwise, automatic loss. And as always, I can change things, both long-term on the policy level, but also momentarily to make exceptions and adjustments, but it must be done as a rational, calm contemplation. If I change something or momentarily take exception to something with only a half-thought out reason, or an emotionally driven one, automatic loss. I need to hold myself to the highest standards.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 69-4
Streak: Won 5

Summary: normal stuff, 1/2 hour on GRE, 173.5 at weigh in, should get some time on AW exercises later tonight.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 68-4
Streak: Won 4

Summary: New policy--blog entries can only take a maximum of 5 minutes. Normal day. MPs, work, French, weigh in was 177.3, 1/2 hour of AW, sent some business e-mails.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 67-4
Streak: Won 3

Summary: I came "out the box" with fury! Really though, today was day 1 of my dual mind approach (calm like a monk until that fails and then I whip myself into the character of a furious demon). I wrote some glorious morning pages, enjoyed my breakfast, rode to work with great intensity, burned tons of calories at work, got a start on this week's French, picked up a GRE study book, looked at that for 45 minutes, bought a beautiful new notebook, did Artist's Way exercises for 45 minutes, ate a lovely dinner topped off by a delicious, flowerless chocolate cake, talked to my mom on the phone, ran some errands, took care of some mail, did some holiday shopping, and paid some bills.
A couple things. 1: I decided that I need to have rigorous, objective evaluations of my progress whenever possible. For my weight loss goal, I'm going to weigh myself every day at the same time and record the result. Today was 175.7. I started at over 200, so I've done well in the last few months. 2: I'm switching to a note-book system. My apologies to my computer-savvy virtue seeking friends, I hate electronics and computers. They fucking blow. I'm going to sell my PDA. My whole system is now organized by two notebooks, the Big Book and the Small Book. I'm not going to get into nuts and bolts, but it's working very nicely so far. 3: I've been legislating firm policies for myself. Today I added a new one--"During the first 15 minutes of my 30 minute break at work, I must relax and eat without spending that time on any other tasks." Often I'll give myself some small task to be done in that time, or I'll read the Inquirer on-line. These are both virtuous tasks, but I need time to rest, collect my thoughts, breathe, eat, and get ready to kick ass on French and then get back to work.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 66-4
Streak: Won 2

Summary: I did my morning pages, watched the Eagles game (GO EAGLES!), paid my credit card bill, put some systems in place that should take care of our mouse problem, picked up ice cream for Eva, did a parkour climb on the wall next to my front door each time I went in and out, wrote my check to keep the Gross Clinic in Philadelphia, prepared my lunches for next week, and read my Artist's Way lesson for next week. This week there's a short exercise to be completed each night before going to bed, so those will be accomplished starting tonight.

Week in Review: This was a weird, tough week. I tweaked my system and refreshed it in my mind, so that should give me a boost. I think I need to get tougher fundamentally. It's great when I can approach my days with happiness and a good attitude. But sometimes I just can't. And when I can't, what do I fall back on? I need to become like a demon, just attacking my shit, putting my head down and plowing through. I need intensity, hate even, if that allows me to stick to my schedules. This needs to happen, and again, I'd prefer if it could happen easily, happily, and with a constant serenity, but in the moments when the options are raging demon or saying fuck it and giving up, and I'm going to go with the raging demon.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 65-4
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I got back in it today, after refreshing and tweaking my system. I took care of some admin, did French, made my budget, legislated some policies for myself, wrote down strategies that I've found helpful in conquering my less virtuous aspects, and I cleaned.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 64-4
Streak: Lost 2

Summary: I voluntarily took a loss today so that I could rest and review my system. I'm still in the middle of it, but I think this will be beneficial in the long run.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 64-3
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: I totally ran out of gas today. I don't think I gave myself enough breaks early in the week. I'm going to sit down and look at some things, to use Andy Reid language. Two things in particular are stressing me out, namely not having a formal set of "laws" and not having my budget set down on paper.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 64-2
Streak: Won 8

Summary: Oops, I guess I added one to the loss column as well as the win column last night. Today was the normal stuff. I went to yoga again, which is nice, but more of a straight workout than a stretch. One of the tutor's at St. John's asked me some question once when I didn't want to do something. The question went something like, "Is it (your not wanting to do it) because of the task itself, or because of your resistance to it?" It almost seems like a silly thing to say. But in the years since then, I think about it sometimes, and I think the implied idea, which is that your arbitrary resistance to a thing makes it difficult and not the thing itself, is a profound and enabling idea.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 63-3
Streak: Won 7

Summary: Nice job on the straight 1s Dan. Hell yeah. And hell yeah Eagles. Fuck the Giant Eagles, but the regular Eagles are awesome. I overcame some adversity to do my morning pages, biked and worked with vigor, studied French for 15 minutes, did some AW exercises for 45 minutes, and now I'm off to the Envirocenter meeting.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 62-2
Streak: Won 6

Summary: I came out strong from the gate today. My morning pages were good, my preparations for work were done efficiently and thoroughly, I worked hard at work, I got a great start on my French, I sent something off for "b", prepared for a big green architecture meeting in Maryland that takes place tomorrow night, and after this I'm going to eat, make my lunch, read the AW book for 45 minutes, and watch the Eagles.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 61-2
Streak: Won 5

Summary: Got a haircut, did my shopping, made my lunches for next week. Exercised moderation and good ethics in general.

Week in review: This week was tough...too tough. I'm thinking it's because I lost my momentum by going up to Philly. It's hard when you come to accept a less-than-ideal situation, and then suddenly find yourself in paradise only to be yanked back to your former situation days later. Now I'm anxious, and everything seems to be moving too slow. I can overcome it though, and I persevered during some difficult moments. One thing I've noticed is that I have cultivated a pretty strong fall-back energy source, meaning, even after I've hit the point where I'm totally against doing something, I'm antsy, uncomfortable, and being pulled in some other direction by my emotions and impulses, I've been able to turn that off, get serious and hardcore for a second, and sit down and do what I have to do. That's fucking excellent. I would love to keep building that.
Next week I want to be more clear and conscious in my actions. I want things to be crisp. I want to know what my plan is, act in accordance with it, and remember that I acted in accordance with it. I have been doing this to a certain extent, otherwise I wouldn't have given myself the wins, but I need to do it better.
Next week I will do lesson 12 in French, lesson 4 in AW, get a GRE book and start studying for that, go to the envirocenter meeting on Tuesday, do some other stuff for "b", start applying my budget, eat healthfully (hopefully lose a bit more weight), and take care of a host of admin shit.

Outcome for 12/2: "Win"
Record: 60-2
Streak: Won 4

Summary: Hell yeah--I had to fight so hard not to engage in amusements that would divert my attention, and I think I won. I still have about an hour and a half to go, but I think my white horse won the battle tonight. Below I've posted my summary for yesterday as well as my monthly review. Tonight I finished my French, worked on something for "b", and later I plan to do some exercises from AW. Not only was I productive, but I overcame the urge to eat out.

Outcome for 12/1: "Win"
Record: 59-2
Streak: Won 3

Summary: I couldn't get my internet working last night, so I decided it would have been too inconvenient to post. Now it's working again (I have no idea what happened), and first I'm going to do a post for yesterday, and then later tonight I'll do one for today.
Yesterday I worked and then picked up Josh, and we hung out for the rest of the night. Yesterday was basically a break day, which means I will do some work on Sunday. I still did my French. My eating habits are getting a bit too lax, I think. Between Thanksgiving holiday and Josh coming down, I've been indulging more than I should. I also need to stop biting the skin on the tips of my fingers. It's unhygenic and it makes my fingers look gross.

Monthly Summary:
Three major things happened this month: I started my internship in Baltimore, I began the program in Artist's Way, and I was reminded of some important values that I had been neglecting. Signing up for classes also initiated what will end up becoming a significant movement.
The program in Artist's Way seems great, and after this week I will be 25% done. It seems highly likely to me that I will write more and write better as a result of the program. That was the gamble that I took by taking 12 weeks off from my novel. But already it seems like it will pay-off. I should finish the course at the beginning of February. At that point, even if I write at my old rate I will finish a good draft by the beginning of April, but I expect to accelerate that schedule.
"b" is progressing nicely. My classes are set up, I know what I need to do to get into Penn, and the internship has been a great boost. Sometime this spring I will take the GRE and soon I'll start putting together my application for the summer studio at Harvard. This coming week I'll be attending the monthly meeting for the local green building community.
Overall I was happy with this month. It was shitty that my first two losses occured, and unforunately I would say it was slightly less virtuous than October, but only slightly. I need to get a little more intense this month. This points toward my goal in December: I want to clearly establish my personal guidlines and policies. One aspect of this will be coming up with a new budget, which is now necessary because Eva made her finances independent. This will happen very soon, if not today or tomorrow. Another way I will accomplish my aformentioned goal is to literally legislate for myself, like write down a list of policies. I already sort of do this in my head, and I stick to it surprisingly well. I just need to codify it in writing, make it more external, less subject to my emotions. I also need to constantly remind myself of what I'm doing and why it's important. This meditation isn't hard.
I lost more weight this month. I'm down to somewhere in the mid 170s. I'm hoping the last week hasn't screwed things up too bad. I'm going to keep going with my current program since it seems to be working.
So basically, let's keep posting guys, and striving to be our best. Dan, you need to have a perfect day--you're coming so close! I'm trying not to have a single loss this month. It's feasible; in fact, I did it in October.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 58-2
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Since break, my wins have been tougher than before break. I have to fight with myself more. Maybe I built momentum, and in fact, it was this hard back when I first started my current 60 day run, and the only reason it's hard now is because I need to regain my momentum. Who knows. I did my morning pages very well (finished in a 1/2 hour without rushing!), worked, did my French (made an extra effort to absorb information), spent a solid hour on "b", cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom, and after this I'm going on my assigned artist's date for the week.
It works better when I "get into" a task--basically that means that I forget about everything else, psychologically allow myself some time, and loose myself. Also, and I've said this before, aesthetics can be a hinderance to doing well. It's not important whether my life looks a way that strikes me as virtuous, as if I were watching it on tape, it just matters if it is virtuous, even if that means violating principles conceived a-priori. A-priori principles; aesthetics--very important, but they must be handled responsibily, otherwise they just make you a fool. I contemplated some values today that I need to keep reminding myself of (Eva helps with some of those). Hopefully tomorrow can be a "clean" win.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 57-2
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I came back strong today. I was able to get into a great state of mind during my morning pages, my "toilette" was efficient and even invigorating, I kicked ass at work in the morning, made myself a nice cappuccino, did my French, went over to AACC and got into their system and registered for my two architecture classes in the spring, came back finished up at work, then I went to yoga for an hour, which was great, and after this I'm going to take care of some admin and put in my 45 minutes of AW. Yesterday, even though I had a loss, I still accomplished some important shit. Eva opened her own bank account, so now I have complete control over the budgeting of my money. Within the week I will come up with a frugal budget for myself.
Yoga was refreshing and now I feel relaxed and peaceful. I would like to go again in the future.
My goal right now is to put together a 100-win streak. It's a lot, but I think I can do it.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 56-2
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: Already I'm calling this one a loss. Last night I barely achieved a "win". Up until when I posted, I was right on the line. Let's say the cutoff was "80%" or something--I was 80%. Then I said I would need to be on-point for the rest of the night. Let's say the cutoff for "on-point" was "90%"--I was 90%. So basically leading into today, I was technically willing to give myself the win, but without the satisfaction of it being definitive, or strong. Then this morning I just acted like an asshole. I lost my serenity, I overindulged in some food, and I only did 2/3rds of my morning pages. I'm pissed at myself. I need to get back into my good schedule. I'm not giving up for today, and I'll still try to do something good, but this one is going down as a loss.

Outcome: "Win, pending"
Record: 56-1
Streak: Won 18

Summary: Pending because I need to execute with discipline for the remainder of the night. It was rough getting back into my routine. It really makes me sad to leave Philadelphia. I'll be there soon.
I got back to eating healthy, getting up early, doing my morning pages (not that I didn't do them on break because I did), French for 15 minutes, accumulating about an hour and 45 minutes overtime, doing grocery shopping, and now I want to put in 45 minutes on AW and take care of some administrative crap. This sucks man, seriously, it's so depressing going back to this. I just read Williams Penn's prayer for Philadelphia, which I believe I've read before on a plaque on city hall. Good stuff. I'm going to do everything I can in my lifetime to preserve and cultivate our city's virtues.

Outcome for Sat and Sun: "Win"
Record: 55-1
Streak: Won 17

Summary: Had fun.

Week in review: This will need to be short because I have to go to bed. Last week was good, and it set me up nicely for the immediate future, both in terms of confirming my values and also giving me a much needed rest. Next week I want to follow my will very near to perfect.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 53-1
Streak: Won 15

Summary: Vacation is great. But I still get stressed, even when I'm on vacation.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 52-1
Streak: Won 14

Summary: I almost forgot to do my morning pages this morning, but then I remembered and it was quite nice. I read, prepared for the seminar, and got ready for dinner. Dinner was good, and in a few minutes we'll have our seminr. Barring some gross violation of ethics, I'd say I lived how I wanted to live today.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 51-1
Streak: Won 13

Summary: Tying things down in Annapolis. I will be in the Philadelphia metropolitan area starting tonight. I lost another pound, so now I'm at 176. Other than that, just the usual. I might sign up for classes at AACC real quick before leaving.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 50-1
Streak: Won 12

Summary: Seriously, another 5. Two in a row, hell yeah. And apparently I haven't been clear, or Dan hasn't been reading my blog well enough. The book is still "plan a". In fact, I'm working on it more than ever right now. AW is directly contributing to the book. AW is a 12 week program that I have undertaken specfically to aid in the process of writing my book. Already it is helping. The book is still #1.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 49-1
Streak: Won 11

Summary: With so much adversity, I still perservered, and I feel like a champ. Today would have been a 5. I'm not going to get into too much detail because of the personal nature of the most of the chief circumstances. Morning pages, work, French for 15 minutes (nice start by the way), and lots of critical "b". Picked up my bike from the shop and took care of a little admin. Would like to do some AW, perhaps read some Emerson to prepare for the seminar, but most importantly I need to get a good night's sleep tonight, since last night I didn't (through no fault of my own).

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 48-1
Streak: Won 10

Summary: What a horrible bitter day. I didn't do anything wrong--I exercised moderation and was generally ethical, and I tried to rest on my day off. The day started off nicely with morning pages, including my weekly check up, and then a nice breakfast. But starting after that there was the Eagles nightmare of a game. Oh God. Then Eva and I fought, and then I felt sick to my stomach and had a headache, and now I just feel overall like a big pile of shit.

Weekly Summary:
Work wise, this was a killer week. I finished my French lesson, completed the first of twelve sections in AW, worked my ass off at normal work and especially at the internship, exercised moderation, got a great start on my French grammar text, took care of a huge amount of administrative stuff, took the first step in lining up my classes for next semester, and got a nice lead for "b".
There were a few things I wanted to work on for this week: one was freeing up Sunday so that I could have a full day of relaxation. Well, I did free up Sunday, but Sunday sucked anyway. I love the Eagles, and I will always watch their games, but in a way I'll be glad when the season's over. A second thing I wanted to address was hazy principles. I still didn't sit down and create a set of "laws", but it's ok that I didn't. I was very deliberate in all my actions, and was, if anything, more conservative than I needed to be. I still want to legislate, so that should be coming soon. There was only one thing regarding sleep, that I'll talk about below, in which I fucked up a little. The AW stuff worked out great. 45 minute morning pages and then another 45 minutes later in the day for the exercises.
Outlook for next week: I want to continue my solid effort. Wednesday night through Sunday night will be a vacation, which is much needed. Monday through Wednesday afternoon will still be productive. Even while I'm vacationing, I'll do my morning pages--basically I'll treat it as a string of Sundays. I want to do at least 1 lesson in French, if not more when I'm relaxing on vacation (at this point the French is fun). There are a few things I want to take care of with "b" before I take off. Ideally I'd like to register for my classes before leaving. Probably the biggest thing I'd like to improve upon is return to my firm ways about sleep. I need to obey myself. I can't get sloppy. Here's how I handle sleep normally. I want to get 8 hours a night on working nights. If I'm getting up at 6:15, I need to be asleep by 10:15. But I figure that I won't fall asleep right away if I get in bed at 10:15, so I get in bed at 9:45, to ensure that I'll be asleep once it hits 10:15. One night, during my artist's date actually, I was sloppy in the following way: it was 9:45, and I was finishing up a movie. I won't get too much into an artist's date, but it's basically supposed to be time to yourself, to recharge and stimulate yourself, by yourself, with no distractions or worries. I was having a great time, and I wanted to be liberal with myself, you know, treat myself. So I figured that if I turned off the light, laid down in bed, and watched the movie that way, I'd fall asleep quickly at 10:15, so I could have the benefit of the 9:45 thing while still being able to watch my movie. I'm sorry, that was bullshit. The artist's date is great, and I want to respect it, but there are also things that I need to be firm about. Because I don't always remember how important sleep is on a gut level, I need to make a hard and fast rule for myself to direct my actions. That ways it doesn't matter whether I'm fully conscious of its value at that time or not, I will do it because I legislated myself to do it, and if I don't, it'll be a loss. That's what I mean about being strict with sleep. The only way I will make an exception is for an emergency, or if I petition my rational mind in advance with a good reason (for example, there's something I might attend late on Tuesday, and the reason I might allow it is because I won't see Eva again for another week, and the only way to see her is to go to the thing). We'll see. So yeah, more firm, more crisp in my actions. Still working on my state of mind and calmness, but that's been good. Yeah, just keep rolling I guess.