Thursday, April 06, 2006

Ethics: 4
Progress: Advancing, slightly
Streak: 4

Today was like yesterday, which is reflected in the scores. I feel solid about things in general, and I'm betting that the streak will break the 1-week mark. I'm frustrated about my progress though. I guess things don't just happen overnight and that I need to be patient. It's like RZA said, "And yo, to y'all niggaz who think you gonna become an MC overnight, yaknowhatI'msayin, better snap out that fuckin dream man, it takes years for this." I just received an e-mail back from some faculty members and relations of faculty members at St. John's about writing, and the real story on it sounds grim. However, I truly am doing this for myself first, and I'm going to regret if I don't do it. Now I'm thinking that this will be a personal project only, and after I finish, I should get into some graduate school program to do my real work. That sounds so sad to me, but maybe it's the truth. Who knows though, I'm not going to be totally fatalistic before anything actually happens.
My progress was in getting into shape, saving money, and writing, like yesterday. The writing was even less, but at the same time, I filed my taxes, which knocked out something that I had been dreading. I really feel like I spend a lot of my time going through the day-to-day motions just to keep afloat and to stay organized and clean--free time that can be used on pure advancement seems rare. I just need to make the most out of it.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

So far, I think the best rating system for myself was the one judging ethics, progress, and streaks. I'm going to keep the progress and streak criterias as they were, and, at least for a little while, I'm going to use the 1-5 system for ethics, with high numbers being better, or more ethical. I'd like to have a chart like the Franklin chart, but I have some issues with it. Also, even though I'm going to try to post everyday, I think it's too harsh to automatically restart my count if I there's a day when I don't.
Ethics: 4
Progress: Advancing, slightly
Streak: 3 days

My progress was writing, getting into better shape, and saving money. I'm very happy that these things are happening, because they are primary goals for me right now, but I'm not happy with the rate at which I'm accomplishing them. I want to be writing more, losing weight faster, and saving more money. Actually, the fitness thing has been moving along nicely, but the other two irritate me a little when I think about them. Overall, things are better than in the fall when I had a spending deficit, I was either getting in worse shape or staying the same, and I was barely writing.
I've been trying to pace myself, which is a perpetual problem for me. When I'm pumped, I want to "sprint", as it were, but I need to force myself to slow down and avoid burn out. This goes with generally being more tolerant of imperfection. I also tried extra hard to score high with ethics, but it was an effort, and it's not a sure thing that I'll sustain that, although I'll try. I need to schedule my time better and pace myself better, and also there are times when I just need to simply push harder.