Outcome: "Win"
Record: 72-4
Streak: Won 8
Summary: There's a difference between anger and discipline--I was angry earlier in the week when I made that post about tightening my criteria. I had been doing fantastically well up until that point, largely because I found a system that works, and I think that it would be unwise to undermine that. I still think that I could use more discipline, but the anger is not valuable. So that's the key, discipline, while still retaining my flexibility. So the scoring remains the same--an overall intuitive "pass" or "fail".
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 71-4
Streak: Won 7
Summary: I've been rising to the challenge that I put to myself. I figured out an effective way to utilize my PDA, so it's staying, for now. 1 hour on GRE, 1 1/2 hours on AW, including morning pages, virtuous work, admin, and tonight Eva and I have our private Hanukka party. Roller coaster day emotionally, but I kept plugging away, laughing in the face of my weak emotions. Or, as one of the Patriot's players said to describe their shutout loss to Miami, "they punched us in the face and made us like it." Well, I kept punching my weak and destructive emotions in the face and made them like it.
Record: 71-4
Streak: Won 7
Summary: I've been rising to the challenge that I put to myself. I figured out an effective way to utilize my PDA, so it's staying, for now. 1 hour on GRE, 1 1/2 hours on AW, including morning pages, virtuous work, admin, and tonight Eva and I have our private Hanukka party. Roller coaster day emotionally, but I kept plugging away, laughing in the face of my weak emotions. Or, as one of the Patriot's players said to describe their shutout loss to Miami, "they punched us in the face and made us like it." Well, I kept punching my weak and destructive emotions in the face and made them like it.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
All right, I want to raise the ante here--bring up the intensity. From now on, starting after I post, only an effort worthy of a 5 will result in a win. Here are some specific things that must happen: I must follow my policies 100% throughout the day, both the major and minor ones. So if I get into bed a minute late, automatic loss. I must follow my schedule 100%. I must make a schedule to begin with, otherwise, automatic loss. And as always, I can change things, both long-term on the policy level, but also momentarily to make exceptions and adjustments, but it must be done as a rational, calm contemplation. If I change something or momentarily take exception to something with only a half-thought out reason, or an emotionally driven one, automatic loss. I need to hold myself to the highest standards.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 67-4
Streak: Won 3
Summary: I came "out the box" with fury! Really though, today was day 1 of my dual mind approach (calm like a monk until that fails and then I whip myself into the character of a furious demon). I wrote some glorious morning pages, enjoyed my breakfast, rode to work with great intensity, burned tons of calories at work, got a start on this week's French, picked up a GRE study book, looked at that for 45 minutes, bought a beautiful new notebook, did Artist's Way exercises for 45 minutes, ate a lovely dinner topped off by a delicious, flowerless chocolate cake, talked to my mom on the phone, ran some errands, took care of some mail, did some holiday shopping, and paid some bills.
A couple things. 1: I decided that I need to have rigorous, objective evaluations of my progress whenever possible. For my weight loss goal, I'm going to weigh myself every day at the same time and record the result. Today was 175.7. I started at over 200, so I've done well in the last few months. 2: I'm switching to a note-book system. My apologies to my computer-savvy virtue seeking friends, I hate electronics and computers. They fucking blow. I'm going to sell my PDA. My whole system is now organized by two notebooks, the Big Book and the Small Book. I'm not going to get into nuts and bolts, but it's working very nicely so far. 3: I've been legislating firm policies for myself. Today I added a new one--"During the first 15 minutes of my 30 minute break at work, I must relax and eat without spending that time on any other tasks." Often I'll give myself some small task to be done in that time, or I'll read the Inquirer on-line. These are both virtuous tasks, but I need time to rest, collect my thoughts, breathe, eat, and get ready to kick ass on French and then get back to work.
Record: 67-4
Streak: Won 3
Summary: I came "out the box" with fury! Really though, today was day 1 of my dual mind approach (calm like a monk until that fails and then I whip myself into the character of a furious demon). I wrote some glorious morning pages, enjoyed my breakfast, rode to work with great intensity, burned tons of calories at work, got a start on this week's French, picked up a GRE study book, looked at that for 45 minutes, bought a beautiful new notebook, did Artist's Way exercises for 45 minutes, ate a lovely dinner topped off by a delicious, flowerless chocolate cake, talked to my mom on the phone, ran some errands, took care of some mail, did some holiday shopping, and paid some bills.
A couple things. 1: I decided that I need to have rigorous, objective evaluations of my progress whenever possible. For my weight loss goal, I'm going to weigh myself every day at the same time and record the result. Today was 175.7. I started at over 200, so I've done well in the last few months. 2: I'm switching to a note-book system. My apologies to my computer-savvy virtue seeking friends, I hate electronics and computers. They fucking blow. I'm going to sell my PDA. My whole system is now organized by two notebooks, the Big Book and the Small Book. I'm not going to get into nuts and bolts, but it's working very nicely so far. 3: I've been legislating firm policies for myself. Today I added a new one--"During the first 15 minutes of my 30 minute break at work, I must relax and eat without spending that time on any other tasks." Often I'll give myself some small task to be done in that time, or I'll read the Inquirer on-line. These are both virtuous tasks, but I need time to rest, collect my thoughts, breathe, eat, and get ready to kick ass on French and then get back to work.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 66-4
Streak: Won 2
Summary: I did my morning pages, watched the Eagles game (GO EAGLES!), paid my credit card bill, put some systems in place that should take care of our mouse problem, picked up ice cream for Eva, did a parkour climb on the wall next to my front door each time I went in and out, wrote my check to keep the Gross Clinic in Philadelphia, prepared my lunches for next week, and read my Artist's Way lesson for next week. This week there's a short exercise to be completed each night before going to bed, so those will be accomplished starting tonight.
Week in Review: This was a weird, tough week. I tweaked my system and refreshed it in my mind, so that should give me a boost. I think I need to get tougher fundamentally. It's great when I can approach my days with happiness and a good attitude. But sometimes I just can't. And when I can't, what do I fall back on? I need to become like a demon, just attacking my shit, putting my head down and plowing through. I need intensity, hate even, if that allows me to stick to my schedules. This needs to happen, and again, I'd prefer if it could happen easily, happily, and with a constant serenity, but in the moments when the options are raging demon or saying fuck it and giving up, and I'm going to go with the raging demon.
Record: 66-4
Streak: Won 2
Summary: I did my morning pages, watched the Eagles game (GO EAGLES!), paid my credit card bill, put some systems in place that should take care of our mouse problem, picked up ice cream for Eva, did a parkour climb on the wall next to my front door each time I went in and out, wrote my check to keep the Gross Clinic in Philadelphia, prepared my lunches for next week, and read my Artist's Way lesson for next week. This week there's a short exercise to be completed each night before going to bed, so those will be accomplished starting tonight.
Week in Review: This was a weird, tough week. I tweaked my system and refreshed it in my mind, so that should give me a boost. I think I need to get tougher fundamentally. It's great when I can approach my days with happiness and a good attitude. But sometimes I just can't. And when I can't, what do I fall back on? I need to become like a demon, just attacking my shit, putting my head down and plowing through. I need intensity, hate even, if that allows me to stick to my schedules. This needs to happen, and again, I'd prefer if it could happen easily, happily, and with a constant serenity, but in the moments when the options are raging demon or saying fuck it and giving up, and I'm going to go with the raging demon.
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