Outcome: "Win"
Record: 47-1
Streak: Won 9
Summary: I could feel that my tank is almost empty. I need a break, but I still managed to pull out a win for today. I mostly did the internship stuff today, which is going well. On my way in I took a different route and discovered this beautiful neighborhood called Bolton Hill. I'd love to park over there and walk around. When I came back I went grocery shopping, made dinner, and after I'm done writing this, I'm going to do some dishes, probably start some laundry, finish my French for the week, and hopefully complete a few of the administrative things hanging over my head.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 46-1
Streak: Won 8
Summary: Today was a lot of working. First I did my morning pages, and then I went to Pronto. I worked there until 11, did a tiny bit of French, jumped in my luxury vehicle and drove to Bmore city, worked at TL until 7:30, drove back, made a healthy dinner, and before I go to bed I want to put together some stuff for my mom and my sister. The three of us are having a seminar on Thanksgiving, so I'm going to send them some basic stuff to get them ready. I need to finish my French lesson at some point this weekend. I also need to pick up my bike, do grocery shopping, and make my lunches for next week (before Sunday!). Sunday is going to be jam packed full of chillaxing.
Something caught my attention this morning when I left my apartment. The Naval Academy had this big electronic text billboard inside their gate, and "God Bless America" was written on it in large capital letters. In that instance, and much of the time when I hear American's today using the phrase, it would seem that they're not actually saying what they mean. I usually interpret the meaning as "God Bless America--isn't America great?" in which case it would be more to the point to say, "God has blessed America". It's kind of chauvinistic. It's like saying, "We're the shit, and not only that, God endorses us." The phrase in the abstract suggests a humple appeal, an uncertainty about the future and a willingness to trust God's plan for you, but I don't get the sense that people are trying to convey that idea when they use it.
One more random side note: I fucking love my car. It's such a champ. I'm tempted to gut it and put it in my living room after it dies, like, set up a shrine to it. It's the Brian Dawkins of cars. It's an 87, and it needed a few repairs when I got it. Not knowing whether it would even get me out of Annapolis (it did, in fact, nearly die as I rolled through the Bay Bridge Toll), since then it has gotten me to Philly, Quebec, back and forth all over Quebec, Ontario, back to Quebec, back to Philly, down to Annapolis, back up to Philly, back to Annapolis, and to Bmore and back several times. The interior light is broken, the dashboard looks vandalized, the gear box makes wierd noises, the engine makes wierd noises, one of the tires is patched, the driver seat doesn't go forward anymore, the passenger door doesn't open, and it sometimes needs two attempts to start. Still, it's transported me like a golden chariot. I feel so greatful.
Record: 46-1
Streak: Won 8
Summary: Today was a lot of working. First I did my morning pages, and then I went to Pronto. I worked there until 11, did a tiny bit of French, jumped in my luxury vehicle and drove to Bmore city, worked at TL until 7:30, drove back, made a healthy dinner, and before I go to bed I want to put together some stuff for my mom and my sister. The three of us are having a seminar on Thanksgiving, so I'm going to send them some basic stuff to get them ready. I need to finish my French lesson at some point this weekend. I also need to pick up my bike, do grocery shopping, and make my lunches for next week (before Sunday!). Sunday is going to be jam packed full of chillaxing.
Something caught my attention this morning when I left my apartment. The Naval Academy had this big electronic text billboard inside their gate, and "God Bless America" was written on it in large capital letters. In that instance, and much of the time when I hear American's today using the phrase, it would seem that they're not actually saying what they mean. I usually interpret the meaning as "God Bless America--isn't America great?" in which case it would be more to the point to say, "God has blessed America". It's kind of chauvinistic. It's like saying, "We're the shit, and not only that, God endorses us." The phrase in the abstract suggests a humple appeal, an uncertainty about the future and a willingness to trust God's plan for you, but I don't get the sense that people are trying to convey that idea when they use it.
One more random side note: I fucking love my car. It's such a champ. I'm tempted to gut it and put it in my living room after it dies, like, set up a shrine to it. It's the Brian Dawkins of cars. It's an 87, and it needed a few repairs when I got it. Not knowing whether it would even get me out of Annapolis (it did, in fact, nearly die as I rolled through the Bay Bridge Toll), since then it has gotten me to Philly, Quebec, back and forth all over Quebec, Ontario, back to Quebec, back to Philly, down to Annapolis, back up to Philly, back to Annapolis, and to Bmore and back several times. The interior light is broken, the dashboard looks vandalized, the gear box makes wierd noises, the engine makes wierd noises, one of the tires is patched, the driver seat doesn't go forward anymore, the passenger door doesn't open, and it sometimes needs two attempts to start. Still, it's transported me like a golden chariot. I feel so greatful.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 45-1
Streak: Won 7
Summary: Morning pages, work, French, took my bike in for a tune-up, went to AACC to meet with a counselor, and later tonight I'm going on my artist's date from AW.
In a lot of ways, today was great. It looks like the two classes that I need fit my schedule exactly. The crazy thing is that if I were to take them now, with my current work schedule, I'd be working about 8am-9:30pm Mon-Sat. Well, Saturday I'd get off at like 6, but still, that's a lot. However, I don't think my situation will be the same, so I'm not worrying about it. The only thing I could have done better with was work. It wasn't that I did bad--it was totally acceptable, even more than acceptable. But in truth, I was doing just enough to qualify as "doing a good job" and stopping there. I could have worked harder. Sometimes I think I should stop at the point that I stopped at, for the sake of conserving energy. But then sometimes I think that it's better to go full-on, both because perhaps it's ethically better, but also sometimes I find that if I work really hard, I have more energy later for some reason (well, I have to qualify that. What happens is complex, but I'm not getting into it now because I need to post and log off).
Record: 45-1
Streak: Won 7
Summary: Morning pages, work, French, took my bike in for a tune-up, went to AACC to meet with a counselor, and later tonight I'm going on my artist's date from AW.
In a lot of ways, today was great. It looks like the two classes that I need fit my schedule exactly. The crazy thing is that if I were to take them now, with my current work schedule, I'd be working about 8am-9:30pm Mon-Sat. Well, Saturday I'd get off at like 6, but still, that's a lot. However, I don't think my situation will be the same, so I'm not worrying about it. The only thing I could have done better with was work. It wasn't that I did bad--it was totally acceptable, even more than acceptable. But in truth, I was doing just enough to qualify as "doing a good job" and stopping there. I could have worked harder. Sometimes I think I should stop at the point that I stopped at, for the sake of conserving energy. But then sometimes I think that it's better to go full-on, both because perhaps it's ethically better, but also sometimes I find that if I work really hard, I have more energy later for some reason (well, I have to qualify that. What happens is complex, but I'm not getting into it now because I need to post and log off).
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 44-1
Streak: Won 6
Summary: Morning pages, worked, 15 minutes on French, hour on "b", and hour on AW. I figured out what I was doing wrong with my shots. Now I'm back to pulling good ones. I looked into getting a new computer today. First I discovered that AutoCAD only runs on Windows, although there are similar design programs that run on other operating systems. I wanted to get a mac, but perhaps this information will have ramifications for my selection. I'm wondering if I should still take a class on CAD. It seems to be a very commonly used program in the world of architecture. I'm meeting with a counselor at the community college tomorrow, so I can find out what their computer design classes cover.
Mentally I was sort of scattered today. At first I felt like shit, then I felt like the king of the world, and then I felt anxious/stupid. I figured out this math problem that came up through my AW exercises, and that made me feel less stupid.
I wish I had learned more about computers when I was younger.
It also seems that I was doing something incorrectly with my morning pages (better to figure this out now than in week 12!). To correct it, I will need to wake up earlier. That sucks because I was happy about only getting up a 1/2 hour before normal, but now I'll need to switch to 45 minutes, if not an hour. Whatever it takes, I'm going to do it.
Record: 44-1
Streak: Won 6
Summary: Morning pages, worked, 15 minutes on French, hour on "b", and hour on AW. I figured out what I was doing wrong with my shots. Now I'm back to pulling good ones. I looked into getting a new computer today. First I discovered that AutoCAD only runs on Windows, although there are similar design programs that run on other operating systems. I wanted to get a mac, but perhaps this information will have ramifications for my selection. I'm wondering if I should still take a class on CAD. It seems to be a very commonly used program in the world of architecture. I'm meeting with a counselor at the community college tomorrow, so I can find out what their computer design classes cover.
Mentally I was sort of scattered today. At first I felt like shit, then I felt like the king of the world, and then I felt anxious/stupid. I figured out this math problem that came up through my AW exercises, and that made me feel less stupid.
I wish I had learned more about computers when I was younger.
It also seems that I was doing something incorrectly with my morning pages (better to figure this out now than in week 12!). To correct it, I will need to wake up earlier. That sucks because I was happy about only getting up a 1/2 hour before normal, but now I'll need to switch to 45 minutes, if not an hour. Whatever it takes, I'm going to do it.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 43-1
Streak: Won 5
Summary: For some reason I can't pull a shot to save my life anymore. The first few times I did it, they were either perfect or within one second of where they needed to be. Now I'm getting these ridiculous results, like one shot being 10 seconds short and then the next one being 20 seconds long, even though I was seemingly doing the same thing both times.
I worked well today. I advanced nicely in French. I exercised great restraint and moderation throughout the day. I controlled my emotions well. I looked at some summer architecture studios online, emailed someone at Penn about it, and looked at some CAD stuff. Then I came home and did my hour of AW, which went well. This morning I was able to do my morning pages in almost exactly a half hour, so I need not get up 45 minutes early anymore, which is a good thing, because getting up that early blew. Later I'm going to take care of some admin and continue on my grammar text. Oh yeah, speaking of which, I finished slightly over 1/8th of the entire French grammar text in AN HOUR last night. I'm quite proud of that, since the same amount took us a few weeks in class.
Record: 43-1
Streak: Won 5
Summary: For some reason I can't pull a shot to save my life anymore. The first few times I did it, they were either perfect or within one second of where they needed to be. Now I'm getting these ridiculous results, like one shot being 10 seconds short and then the next one being 20 seconds long, even though I was seemingly doing the same thing both times.
I worked well today. I advanced nicely in French. I exercised great restraint and moderation throughout the day. I controlled my emotions well. I looked at some summer architecture studios online, emailed someone at Penn about it, and looked at some CAD stuff. Then I came home and did my hour of AW, which went well. This morning I was able to do my morning pages in almost exactly a half hour, so I need not get up 45 minutes early anymore, which is a good thing, because getting up that early blew. Later I'm going to take care of some admin and continue on my grammar text. Oh yeah, speaking of which, I finished slightly over 1/8th of the entire French grammar text in AN HOUR last night. I'm quite proud of that, since the same amount took us a few weeks in class.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 42-1
Streak: Won 4
Summary: I worked hard but I made a pretty huge mistake today. That made me feel shitty. On top of that, I was feeling this irrational sense of worthlessness and hopelessness. My victory was centered around the fact that I still did what I had to do and conquered my shitty state of mind. I put in an hour on "b", started my French, and did an hour of exercises from AW. I think I need a full 45 minutes in the morning to do my morning pages, so now I have to go to bed at 9:45. So far the program seems good; I'm glad I'm doing it. One of today's exercises was to take "your artist" on a walk--basically just walk outside and follow your curiosity, just like a kid. Don't think about work, shit you have to do, or time, or anything like that. Just explore around outside. It was amazingly refreshing. I found all these hidden nooks in downtown, like cool backyard gardens, interesting building structures, etc. I'm going to take care of admin crap for about 45 min, and then I'm going to study a French grammer text so that I can finally graduate from the elementary reading level (HTRAB). Analytically reading in another language sounds so crazy to me. I think I'll write my critique essays in French if the text is French.
Record: 42-1
Streak: Won 4
Summary: I worked hard but I made a pretty huge mistake today. That made me feel shitty. On top of that, I was feeling this irrational sense of worthlessness and hopelessness. My victory was centered around the fact that I still did what I had to do and conquered my shitty state of mind. I put in an hour on "b", started my French, and did an hour of exercises from AW. I think I need a full 45 minutes in the morning to do my morning pages, so now I have to go to bed at 9:45. So far the program seems good; I'm glad I'm doing it. One of today's exercises was to take "your artist" on a walk--basically just walk outside and follow your curiosity, just like a kid. Don't think about work, shit you have to do, or time, or anything like that. Just explore around outside. It was amazingly refreshing. I found all these hidden nooks in downtown, like cool backyard gardens, interesting building structures, etc. I'm going to take care of admin crap for about 45 min, and then I'm going to study a French grammer text so that I can finally graduate from the elementary reading level (HTRAB). Analytically reading in another language sounds so crazy to me. I think I'll write my critique essays in French if the text is French.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Outcome: "Win"
Record: 41-1
Streak: Won 3
Summary: made breakfast, watched the Eagles, went shopping, talked to my family, made lunch for next week, put in my final hour of writing for the week, read the first chapter of Artist's Way, pondered my schedule, and after this I'm going to bed.
Weekly Summary
Good:
1. Put in all my writing time.
2. Performed at my Baltimore job--big push on "b"
3. Put in my normal time on "b"
4. Worked with diligence.
5. Controlled myself pretty well.
6. Finished a lesson of French.
7. Generally acted with good ethics.
8. Set up nicely for next week.
Bad:
1. First loss. Just crumbled that night. I'm trying to pick myself up and go forward.
2. Kind of scattered at the end of the week, but this is not really my fault and I will address it in my plan for next week.
Plan for next week:
The big change is with my writing project. The program in Artist's Way is comprehensive and requires a lot of time. I will put in an hour and a half each day--a half hour for the morning pages as soon as I wake up and an hour at some point later to work on the exercises. If I finish all of the exercises for the week, I'll put in some time on the novel, but I don't know whether I'll get the chance for that.
I will continue putting in an hour on "b" each day up until Friday. On Friday and Saturday I'll probably work in Baltimore again, which will definitely fill my "b" requirement for those days. On Thursday I'm meeting with a counselor at the community college about taking classes. I'll also look into setting up a meeting with someone at Strayer.
There's a chance that I'll run out of things to do at normal work this week. If that happens, I decided that I will hit the gym for an hour, and if I still have time left before my normal finishing time, I'll just do other shit (AW, b, novel, reading for understanding, etc.)
At some point soon, maybe tomorrow, I want to put down a set of principles for myself in concrete form. This has to do with what I was talking about the other day regarding changing my policies on a whim. If I legislate some laws for myself, especially covering food consumption and spending money, I will have a more clear idea of what I'm doing. Something like, 1. Only 1 coffee drink per day; 2. Only eat out once per week, except if it's during a vacation, etc. Maybe I'll print some of my laws on here.
Here are a few nuts and bolts things that I will be changing next week. I will be going to bed a half hour earlier to accomodate the morning pages, so that means getting into bed at 10. Another thing is that I'm finding my Sundays are still stressful, for various reasons. One thing that I have done on Sundays every week up until now is make my lunches for the following week. I'm going to change this. I'm probably going to do this on Saturday. Also, this week, because of the Baltimore thing, I ended up needing to shop and write on Sunday. That was excusable for this week, but I'm not doing that again. I need a full, uninterrupted day of chilling in order to recharge.
Record: 41-1
Streak: Won 3
Summary: made breakfast, watched the Eagles, went shopping, talked to my family, made lunch for next week, put in my final hour of writing for the week, read the first chapter of Artist's Way, pondered my schedule, and after this I'm going to bed.
Weekly Summary
Good:
1. Put in all my writing time.
2. Performed at my Baltimore job--big push on "b"
3. Put in my normal time on "b"
4. Worked with diligence.
5. Controlled myself pretty well.
6. Finished a lesson of French.
7. Generally acted with good ethics.
8. Set up nicely for next week.
Bad:
1. First loss. Just crumbled that night. I'm trying to pick myself up and go forward.
2. Kind of scattered at the end of the week, but this is not really my fault and I will address it in my plan for next week.
Plan for next week:
The big change is with my writing project. The program in Artist's Way is comprehensive and requires a lot of time. I will put in an hour and a half each day--a half hour for the morning pages as soon as I wake up and an hour at some point later to work on the exercises. If I finish all of the exercises for the week, I'll put in some time on the novel, but I don't know whether I'll get the chance for that.
I will continue putting in an hour on "b" each day up until Friday. On Friday and Saturday I'll probably work in Baltimore again, which will definitely fill my "b" requirement for those days. On Thursday I'm meeting with a counselor at the community college about taking classes. I'll also look into setting up a meeting with someone at Strayer.
There's a chance that I'll run out of things to do at normal work this week. If that happens, I decided that I will hit the gym for an hour, and if I still have time left before my normal finishing time, I'll just do other shit (AW, b, novel, reading for understanding, etc.)
At some point soon, maybe tomorrow, I want to put down a set of principles for myself in concrete form. This has to do with what I was talking about the other day regarding changing my policies on a whim. If I legislate some laws for myself, especially covering food consumption and spending money, I will have a more clear idea of what I'm doing. Something like, 1. Only 1 coffee drink per day; 2. Only eat out once per week, except if it's during a vacation, etc. Maybe I'll print some of my laws on here.
Here are a few nuts and bolts things that I will be changing next week. I will be going to bed a half hour earlier to accomodate the morning pages, so that means getting into bed at 10. Another thing is that I'm finding my Sundays are still stressful, for various reasons. One thing that I have done on Sundays every week up until now is make my lunches for the following week. I'm going to change this. I'm probably going to do this on Saturday. Also, this week, because of the Baltimore thing, I ended up needing to shop and write on Sunday. That was excusable for this week, but I'm not doing that again. I need a full, uninterrupted day of chilling in order to recharge.
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