Day 6
I like the look of that 6. I've been killing it so far this weekend. Obviously, that 6 is contingent on me not fucking up for the rest of the day. But so far I have been mainly writing, but aside from that I maintained a pleasant comportment and healthy eating. I'd say since yesterday afternoon I've logged about 15 hours of writing time. Yeah, that means I was up until 6 this morning and then got up around 11 to continue. I'm feeling good, and later I'm planning to get my grocery shopping done, clean up, and get everything set so I can be super chill tomorrow.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
YO YO YO,
so I see Dan isn't posting these days--what's up with that? I kind of fucked up this weekend, although there were some triumphs mixed in. I triumphed in being able to remind myself of my priorities in my personal life and doing a good job attending to them. I fucked up by slacking on my health/domestic stuff. I ate a bunch of garbage starting last night and into today. I wanted to clean, but I haven't yet. I wanted to write, but I probably won't until tomorrow. Partially this is understandable. With Eva's cousin coming, and the holiday, my schedule was thrown off this week. Also, my triumph cost a huge amount of psychic energy, which drained me and hampered my ability to follow through on the smaller stuff. I did get a lot of reading done. Read some Emerson, which is so good I'm considering requiring myself to read it everyday again as I did last year for a time, and I also read Hebrew Thought Compared With Greek, an academic book that Eva's uncle sent me. It's good, but it's slow going and difficult for me to form an opinion on regarding its truth.
Heading into next week, here's my plan: there is some what and some how that needs refocusing. The what is my scheduling and executing, which has been pretty good lately. I have a wierd schedule at work right now that gives me an hour and a half off in the middle of the day, and I've been using that as flexible utility time. Sometimes I write, sometimes I take care of administrative stuff. It's good because I can't be interrupted there, and I can't leave, and both of these things help. I need to do better being conscious of my goals and my progress on them and assigning time accordingly. For example, the essay deadline is coming up, so I need to push that to the top of the list of priorities. I wanted to create something that would organize my bill payments and chores into an easy reference list, but this can wait until after the essay is completed. Basically, I need to have a constant awareness of what my projects are, what state they are in, what I need to do to advance them, and then assign time to work on them using all the tricks that I've been learning. Going to the library for a few hours before coming home has been huge. I'll continue that as well.
Once I get home, I'm finding that it doesn't work as well to rigidly divide my time. Eva doesn't go for it, and when the tasks require two people, it doesn't seem right to ask the other person to work on your rigid schedule. I need to treat home time as a more relaxed flex time. I need to cook, and clean, and schedule, and pay bills, and recharge. I need to juggle a bunch of stuff. The balance, and this is key, is , on the one hand, to avoid being overwhelmed and feeling like I'm working the whole time when I get home, resulting in burnout, and on the other hand, to get so relaxed and casual that I don't get anything done. I just see this as something that will have to be practiced and finessed. But it will be a huge help that in other portions of my day, I will have set myself up gloriously. By this I mean that I will have gotten enough sleep the night before, eaten two healthy, energy rich meals already, finished with annyoing necessary work, written for at least an hour and a half, and perhaps done some administrative work. So basically, once I get home, there's nothing to stress about too much, because I've already done a lot.
The "how" I talked about is like this: two things, one is that I did better, but not as well as I could have about not wasting energy on anxiety. It's just as simple as being rational about my situation, eating well, sleeping, exercising, etc. I just have to breathe, drink water, and not waste energy on anxiety. The second thing is being in my working mode less. Eva mistakes my working mode for me hating her. WHen I'm in working mode I'm serious, not joking around, not affectionate, just focused and trying to do stuff. I can't be this way around her. This is partially what's behind all the before/after coming home talk from above. I'll be in working mode before coming home, and in relaxed mode once I get home.
Another big key issue: the weekend. My momentum has gotten wrecked every single weekend so far this weekend. It's true that every single weekend, literally, there has been some huge personal thing that has happened that has taken a lot of my energy. But still, I fuck up. I have ideas about how to handle this, but I think I'm done writing for now.
so I see Dan isn't posting these days--what's up with that? I kind of fucked up this weekend, although there were some triumphs mixed in. I triumphed in being able to remind myself of my priorities in my personal life and doing a good job attending to them. I fucked up by slacking on my health/domestic stuff. I ate a bunch of garbage starting last night and into today. I wanted to clean, but I haven't yet. I wanted to write, but I probably won't until tomorrow. Partially this is understandable. With Eva's cousin coming, and the holiday, my schedule was thrown off this week. Also, my triumph cost a huge amount of psychic energy, which drained me and hampered my ability to follow through on the smaller stuff. I did get a lot of reading done. Read some Emerson, which is so good I'm considering requiring myself to read it everyday again as I did last year for a time, and I also read Hebrew Thought Compared With Greek, an academic book that Eva's uncle sent me. It's good, but it's slow going and difficult for me to form an opinion on regarding its truth.
Heading into next week, here's my plan: there is some what and some how that needs refocusing. The what is my scheduling and executing, which has been pretty good lately. I have a wierd schedule at work right now that gives me an hour and a half off in the middle of the day, and I've been using that as flexible utility time. Sometimes I write, sometimes I take care of administrative stuff. It's good because I can't be interrupted there, and I can't leave, and both of these things help. I need to do better being conscious of my goals and my progress on them and assigning time accordingly. For example, the essay deadline is coming up, so I need to push that to the top of the list of priorities. I wanted to create something that would organize my bill payments and chores into an easy reference list, but this can wait until after the essay is completed. Basically, I need to have a constant awareness of what my projects are, what state they are in, what I need to do to advance them, and then assign time to work on them using all the tricks that I've been learning. Going to the library for a few hours before coming home has been huge. I'll continue that as well.
Once I get home, I'm finding that it doesn't work as well to rigidly divide my time. Eva doesn't go for it, and when the tasks require two people, it doesn't seem right to ask the other person to work on your rigid schedule. I need to treat home time as a more relaxed flex time. I need to cook, and clean, and schedule, and pay bills, and recharge. I need to juggle a bunch of stuff. The balance, and this is key, is , on the one hand, to avoid being overwhelmed and feeling like I'm working the whole time when I get home, resulting in burnout, and on the other hand, to get so relaxed and casual that I don't get anything done. I just see this as something that will have to be practiced and finessed. But it will be a huge help that in other portions of my day, I will have set myself up gloriously. By this I mean that I will have gotten enough sleep the night before, eaten two healthy, energy rich meals already, finished with annyoing necessary work, written for at least an hour and a half, and perhaps done some administrative work. So basically, once I get home, there's nothing to stress about too much, because I've already done a lot.
The "how" I talked about is like this: two things, one is that I did better, but not as well as I could have about not wasting energy on anxiety. It's just as simple as being rational about my situation, eating well, sleeping, exercising, etc. I just have to breathe, drink water, and not waste energy on anxiety. The second thing is being in my working mode less. Eva mistakes my working mode for me hating her. WHen I'm in working mode I'm serious, not joking around, not affectionate, just focused and trying to do stuff. I can't be this way around her. This is partially what's behind all the before/after coming home talk from above. I'll be in working mode before coming home, and in relaxed mode once I get home.
Another big key issue: the weekend. My momentum has gotten wrecked every single weekend so far this weekend. It's true that every single weekend, literally, there has been some huge personal thing that has happened that has taken a lot of my energy. But still, I fuck up. I have ideas about how to handle this, but I think I'm done writing for now.
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