Score: +1
Total: 43
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 1
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Summary: Enjoyed 3 episodes of The Wire, took another practice test, studied, and worked on my application. I decided not to do the portfolio because there was another piece that was actually required that I needed to finish today, so I can send it tomorrow. While I was preparing this part of the application, I was asked to list and briefly describe all the different college courses I've taken. As I was going back through my memory of St. John's classes, it struck me #1, how much I miss it, and #2, how great of a time that really was. It was so good it was unreal. I had no idea how good things were then. It was like living in a utopia in the sky, contemplating the highest things, and now I'm struggling in this gritty, harsh, shitty world below. But even that's not true, my life now is pretty good, but still--that was "halcyon", as the GRE might put it. As Ghostfaced Killah said, "That's that real shit G, I miss those shits, man, I wanna go back to school, man
that's my word, man for real y'all, those were, those were the... goddamn y'all, you remember...I miss those days man, for real" Fuckin-A Ghost, just like your comments on art, your wisdom resonates in my soul. Yeah, so I'm going back to school. Hopefully it'll be even half as nice as St. John's was.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Score: +1
Total: 42
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Comments: Even though it's not required of applicants to Berkeley's Master City Planning program, I was thinking that I might send them a design portfolio, as a supplement to the rest of my application. The problem is that they only accept hard-copy portfolios, and I never learned how to make those. I don't really know how to make digital ones either, but at least I figured that I could put images on a disc and send them that. Anyway, I have exactly 1 day to a) figure out how to make a hard-copy portfolio, and b) make it. It's not a big deal if I don't make one, since they don't even ask for it, so I might not do it. There's also the issue of expense. I'll figure something out.
I got a 1440 on today's practice test, which, at this point, is totally fine. I was shooting for a 1600, but now I just want to get something respectable.
Total: 42
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Comments: Even though it's not required of applicants to Berkeley's Master City Planning program, I was thinking that I might send them a design portfolio, as a supplement to the rest of my application. The problem is that they only accept hard-copy portfolios, and I never learned how to make those. I don't really know how to make digital ones either, but at least I figured that I could put images on a disc and send them that. Anyway, I have exactly 1 day to a) figure out how to make a hard-copy portfolio, and b) make it. It's not a big deal if I don't make one, since they don't even ask for it, so I might not do it. There's also the issue of expense. I'll figure something out.
I got a 1440 on today's practice test, which, at this point, is totally fine. I was shooting for a 1600, but now I just want to get something respectable.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Score: +1
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Comments: Worked, went for a bike ride, studied, ate, and worked on my Berkeley application. I did get up late this morning, and it did compromise my breakfast, which had a ripple effect throughout the day. I'm tired now, and I could have done more, but I did ok. It's important to limit attention on immediate tasks and not look around at things in the distance. We assume, as an article of faith, that if we do what we perceive as right and effective, we will arrive at our desired end point. The best way to work is to set about doing that work without worrying about what may or may not happen. In other words, if I can just do my shit--send out applications, put in my days, exercise dutifully, stick to my diets, etc.--eventually, my dreams will come true. But sometimes I get thrown off when things get difficult, which is human nature. Like, now I need to find a new job, because the work ran out at the place I was working since I moved. That plus my GRE plus applications tempts me to give up or at least go on an eating binge, or something. But I think if I do what I can--send in applications (both for work and for school), save money, and generally "do the right thing"--I will arrive at a good place. As I enter a dark or tough period, I need to put my head down, tape on the blinders, and go to work. If I can fully cultivate that quality, then I'll be invincible, Rocky Balboa style.
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Comments: Worked, went for a bike ride, studied, ate, and worked on my Berkeley application. I did get up late this morning, and it did compromise my breakfast, which had a ripple effect throughout the day. I'm tired now, and I could have done more, but I did ok. It's important to limit attention on immediate tasks and not look around at things in the distance. We assume, as an article of faith, that if we do what we perceive as right and effective, we will arrive at our desired end point. The best way to work is to set about doing that work without worrying about what may or may not happen. In other words, if I can just do my shit--send out applications, put in my days, exercise dutifully, stick to my diets, etc.--eventually, my dreams will come true. But sometimes I get thrown off when things get difficult, which is human nature. Like, now I need to find a new job, because the work ran out at the place I was working since I moved. That plus my GRE plus applications tempts me to give up or at least go on an eating binge, or something. But I think if I do what I can--send in applications (both for work and for school), save money, and generally "do the right thing"--I will arrive at a good place. As I enter a dark or tough period, I need to put my head down, tape on the blinders, and go to work. If I can fully cultivate that quality, then I'll be invincible, Rocky Balboa style.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Score: +1
Total: 40
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 4
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Comments: I had a late start this morning, so I didn't get to eat a full breakfast. I think the change that occurred on Sunday in diet and intensity of activities made me overly tired. I expect that to balance out.
At lunch I ate somewhat immoderately and didn't study vocab, which were bad, but I relaxed and did physical work later in the day, so it wasn't a total loss. I studied well when I got home, ate a good dinner, went a little overboard on the dessert, and then took care of the remaining practical stuff that needed to happen before the Berkeley App is due. The big thing was coming up with the latest budget. Things are better than I expected, even with the reduced income this month and increased expenses (in certain categories).
Unfortunately, I'm already late going to bed, so it's likely that I'll be late getting up, which may mean another insufficient breakfast. I'll try to make it happen, but it's much harder with limited sleep. After work I want to study more and work on the Berkeley application.
Total: 40
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 4
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Comments: I had a late start this morning, so I didn't get to eat a full breakfast. I think the change that occurred on Sunday in diet and intensity of activities made me overly tired. I expect that to balance out.
At lunch I ate somewhat immoderately and didn't study vocab, which were bad, but I relaxed and did physical work later in the day, so it wasn't a total loss. I studied well when I got home, ate a good dinner, went a little overboard on the dessert, and then took care of the remaining practical stuff that needed to happen before the Berkeley App is due. The big thing was coming up with the latest budget. Things are better than I expected, even with the reduced income this month and increased expenses (in certain categories).
Unfortunately, I'm already late going to bed, so it's likely that I'll be late getting up, which may mean another insufficient breakfast. I'll try to make it happen, but it's much harder with limited sleep. After work I want to study more and work on the Berkeley application.
Monday, November 26, 2007
First of all, shame on me for not posting. I stopped posting because I was ashamed and embarrassed about what the publick would think of me after what happened last Wednesday. Let me start at the beginning:
So I decided to take two final practice tests Tuesday night before test day. Prior to this I had taken other practice tests and done well. In the very beginning I was having issues with pacing on the math section, but it seemed to be getting better. On Tuesday, however, I did great on the verbal and good on the math, but not great--my pacing problems were coming back. Basically, I would only be able to do 22/28 problems, and I would get the first 22 correct, but not even attempt the final 6, or something like that. Of course this wasn't terrible, but I was shooting for as high of a score as possible. This freaked me out a little bit. Going into the test Wednesday, I kept telling myself that the most important thing was to go fast on the math section.
The math section came around, and to my horror, I couldn't see a way to repackage the first question, which is the key to the GRE. If one were to solve that question using a straight forward method, it would take a long time, and this isn't the point of the test. I don't know if it was because I was nervous, but I started panicking immediately because I didn't see a way to approach it. Also, the first few questions are the most important, since they put you on a difficulty track for the rest of the test, and you have to answer before you can move on, so I placed high importance on the first question. Deciding that I couldn't afford to miss the first question, I did the calculation long-hand. At this point I was already in despair because my pacing was messed up, and, not surprisingly, my results didn't match any of the answers. Now I was full blown panicked. I had already wasted about 10 minutes for absolutely nothing. At that point it was over. I might as well have not taken the test. I tried the best I could on the remaining questions, but I don't think I even got half-way through. End result: barely a 1000 for the whole test (scored the way the old SATs were).
When the score popped up on the screen, I gasped and my veins felt like they were expanding. I thought I was going to puke in my cubicle. I stumbled out of the testing center, forgot my coat, and almost got hit by a car riding home. I'm still in shock, really. I was shooting for a 1600 (and I think it was achievable), but instead I barely got a 1000. Needless to say, that was below the minimum at almost all of the programs I'm applying to. Fortunately, I was able to reschedule another test for December 3rd, still leaving enough time for the new results to get to the schools. Right as soon as I got home, I wrote letters to all of the schools I'm applying to explaining what happened. My verbal was actually very good, and I have a good feeling about my essays. Grade wise, I have 8 As and 1 A- in 9 college semesters of math, which I pointed out in my letter. I also offered to have my math teachers write extra letters stating that my math skills are in fact higher than those of a house plant. Most importantly, I need to make absolutely sure my pacing issues are fixed in time for the next test, and I need to calm down while I'm taking it. On top of filling out my Berkeley application this week, the next few days are going to be hectic. Now, on to my scoring recaps:
Wednesday:
Score: -2
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Commentary: Blech, obviously. After the test and my letters, I ate a bunch of cookies and suffered in my chair. Totally horrible day.
Thursday:
Score: -1
Total: 40
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: Relaxed with my family, which was nice, but I didn't do much. I ate poorly, hence the negative.
Friday:
Score: -2
Total: 38
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: The despair still hung heavily over me at this point. Spent money, ate junk food, and didn't study that much (at least I studied some). I didn't even wake up until 11, and didn't get back to my apartment until 1 or 2.
Saturday:
Score: -2
Total: 36
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: Much like Friday. Some studying, some eating junk food and spending money. Basically a waste.
Sunday:
Score: +1
Total: 37
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: Did a bunch of work around the house, had a nice time with Eva, studied a bit. Recharged, mentally overcame the majority of my despair, and set up the rest of the week with practical crap (i.e., did grocery shopping, did laundry, did my weekly lot of cleaning, etc.)
Today:
Score: +2
Total: 39
Sugar Free Days: 1
Commentary: All right, I feel like I'm back on track. I studied vocab at work, ate moderately, went for a run after work, took care of some practical issues, and studied. Also important is the fact that I'm posting again. This week is going to be a crucial week. Like last week, I'm on an efficiency schedule: instant meals only to minimize cooking and cleaning time, and no leisure outside of some time with Eva at night. My plan is to come home, go for a run, and then start, breaking only for a quick dinner, and then stopping at around 9pm.
So I decided to take two final practice tests Tuesday night before test day. Prior to this I had taken other practice tests and done well. In the very beginning I was having issues with pacing on the math section, but it seemed to be getting better. On Tuesday, however, I did great on the verbal and good on the math, but not great--my pacing problems were coming back. Basically, I would only be able to do 22/28 problems, and I would get the first 22 correct, but not even attempt the final 6, or something like that. Of course this wasn't terrible, but I was shooting for as high of a score as possible. This freaked me out a little bit. Going into the test Wednesday, I kept telling myself that the most important thing was to go fast on the math section.
The math section came around, and to my horror, I couldn't see a way to repackage the first question, which is the key to the GRE. If one were to solve that question using a straight forward method, it would take a long time, and this isn't the point of the test. I don't know if it was because I was nervous, but I started panicking immediately because I didn't see a way to approach it. Also, the first few questions are the most important, since they put you on a difficulty track for the rest of the test, and you have to answer before you can move on, so I placed high importance on the first question. Deciding that I couldn't afford to miss the first question, I did the calculation long-hand. At this point I was already in despair because my pacing was messed up, and, not surprisingly, my results didn't match any of the answers. Now I was full blown panicked. I had already wasted about 10 minutes for absolutely nothing. At that point it was over. I might as well have not taken the test. I tried the best I could on the remaining questions, but I don't think I even got half-way through. End result: barely a 1000 for the whole test (scored the way the old SATs were).
When the score popped up on the screen, I gasped and my veins felt like they were expanding. I thought I was going to puke in my cubicle. I stumbled out of the testing center, forgot my coat, and almost got hit by a car riding home. I'm still in shock, really. I was shooting for a 1600 (and I think it was achievable), but instead I barely got a 1000. Needless to say, that was below the minimum at almost all of the programs I'm applying to. Fortunately, I was able to reschedule another test for December 3rd, still leaving enough time for the new results to get to the schools. Right as soon as I got home, I wrote letters to all of the schools I'm applying to explaining what happened. My verbal was actually very good, and I have a good feeling about my essays. Grade wise, I have 8 As and 1 A- in 9 college semesters of math, which I pointed out in my letter. I also offered to have my math teachers write extra letters stating that my math skills are in fact higher than those of a house plant. Most importantly, I need to make absolutely sure my pacing issues are fixed in time for the next test, and I need to calm down while I'm taking it. On top of filling out my Berkeley application this week, the next few days are going to be hectic. Now, on to my scoring recaps:
Wednesday:
Score: -2
Total: 41
Work hours today: ---
Work hours for the week: ---
Days Sugar Free: 0
Sleep: 8 hours until the test is over.
Commentary: Blech, obviously. After the test and my letters, I ate a bunch of cookies and suffered in my chair. Totally horrible day.
Thursday:
Score: -1
Total: 40
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: Relaxed with my family, which was nice, but I didn't do much. I ate poorly, hence the negative.
Friday:
Score: -2
Total: 38
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: The despair still hung heavily over me at this point. Spent money, ate junk food, and didn't study that much (at least I studied some). I didn't even wake up until 11, and didn't get back to my apartment until 1 or 2.
Saturday:
Score: -2
Total: 36
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: Much like Friday. Some studying, some eating junk food and spending money. Basically a waste.
Sunday:
Score: +1
Total: 37
Sugar Free Days: 0
Commentary: Did a bunch of work around the house, had a nice time with Eva, studied a bit. Recharged, mentally overcame the majority of my despair, and set up the rest of the week with practical crap (i.e., did grocery shopping, did laundry, did my weekly lot of cleaning, etc.)
Today:
Score: +2
Total: 39
Sugar Free Days: 1
Commentary: All right, I feel like I'm back on track. I studied vocab at work, ate moderately, went for a run after work, took care of some practical issues, and studied. Also important is the fact that I'm posting again. This week is going to be a crucial week. Like last week, I'm on an efficiency schedule: instant meals only to minimize cooking and cleaning time, and no leisure outside of some time with Eva at night. My plan is to come home, go for a run, and then start, breaking only for a quick dinner, and then stopping at around 9pm.
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