Wednesday, September 28, 2005

After having a 5 point day, I'm doubting the ideal that I understood it to be based on. I was under the impression that a 5-day meant constantly working, wasting no time, eliminating involuntary motions, maintaining sharp consciousness the whole day, and being extremely efficient. Assuming that this is the ideal, I have at least two criticisms of it.
First, as much as my day yesterday was productive on its own, I will probably need two days to recover from it. So in the long run, yesterday may have had a greater cost than benefit. It was like sprinting the whole day. I was totally exhausted by the end of the day, and today, despite my best efforts, has been a solid 3 at best. Actually, yesterday I entertained the thought of striving for double fives, one yesterday and one today, just to blow some minds. I don't think anyone is capable of that. I believe that living excellently requires pacing. Even just writing that, it sounds so obvious, but I know that personally I need to relearn how to pace myself and how important it is.
My second critique of the ideal is perhaps more subjective--if I did what I did yesterday every day, I would become totally nerotic. It felt like I was grinding my gears and tensely clutching onto my focus at every moment. It was miserable in a way. Perhaps there's nothing wrong with idiosynchratic movements, or daydreaming, provided that it doesn't get out of control. Where it gets out of control is tricky, and it's the type of thing where we need to develop a good intuition and faculty of judgment to be able to discern. In other words, it seems to me that living well is an art, partially in the sense that it can not be expressed by a formula. Aristotle argued for that, and he even named a specific faculty which is often translated as "discretion" which is meant to tell us what is appropriate in any given instant, and it's one of the keystones of his moral philosophy. I think that it's good to rest, and screw around now and then, and to take a random detour on your ride home to admire the Chesapeake. I'm not advocating a complete abandonment of structure and planning, or intensity for that matter, but they must be balanced, juggled, and applied at the right moments in an intelligent manner. Even BF's scheme of inculcating virtue sounded like it wasn't the most practical plan. If I remember correctly, he didn't keep it up for very long. It seems like the type of thing that helps us point ourselves in the right direction, and even to keep up for a short time, but not as a final and complete guide to right action.
I hope this doesn't sound like a copout to the other participants. I'm proud of what I did yesterday, and I did get a lot done, within a 24 hour period of time. In the future though, my fives will be awarded based on a more wholistic view of excellence (in fact, what I'm now imagining as a five-day is probably harder to achieve than the old ideal). By the way, are we using half points or not?

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