My crisis was a version of saying "fuck it", but it was spread out over about 6 hours. First I came home tired after a long day at work, and since I had to stay late, my schedule was messed up. I decided to skip the activity planned right after work and jump to the next one so that I would still be on schedule. This irritated me, and I was just distracted in general. I also felt sick. I had two sodas when I had limited myself to 1 per day. Then I didn't write, didn't do anything else, just fucked around, and went to bed very late.
Here are some things that I wasn't doing right. First of all, I wasn't giving myself real breaks during my break times. Here's how I looked at it at the time. I thought of a variety of things that can be relaxing at least some of the time. Included among these were playing video games, eating, sleeping, exploring new places (especially cities), and reading. In making my decision of what to do during my breaks, I figured that the primary concern was doing something that rested me. I went forward with the shaky premise that the things listed above all satisfied that condition. Then I figured that if they were all equally good according to the primary criterion, then I should select my acitivity based on which is most productive. Accordingly, I decided to read during my breaks, or explore new cities, but at the least, I would avoid video games and tv since they aren't productive at all.
The problem with this started because I was thinking of breaks as times when I can also do something productive while I'm resting. Then I started feeling pressure to read as much as I can during my breaks, so it became another thing on a to-do list, or another task. This undermined the primary reason for doing it in the first place, which is to rest myself. What I need to do from now on is to just rest, period, and not give a shit what i'm doing. It is time that I have to let go of...I can't expect to get productivity out of it (but if I exercise patience and look at things over the long run, it's indirectly productive since it recharges me for later.