Outcome for 12/1: "Win"
Record: 59-2
Streak: Won 3

Summary: I couldn't get my internet working last night, so I decided it would have been too inconvenient to post. Now it's working again (I have no idea what happened), and first I'm going to do a post for yesterday, and then later tonight I'll do one for today.
Yesterday I worked and then picked up Josh, and we hung out for the rest of the night. Yesterday was basically a break day, which means I will do some work on Sunday. I still did my French. My eating habits are getting a bit too lax, I think. Between Thanksgiving holiday and Josh coming down, I've been indulging more than I should. I also need to stop biting the skin on the tips of my fingers. It's unhygenic and it makes my fingers look gross.

Monthly Summary:
Three major things happened this month: I started my internship in Baltimore, I began the program in Artist's Way, and I was reminded of some important values that I had been neglecting. Signing up for classes also initiated what will end up becoming a significant movement.
The program in Artist's Way seems great, and after this week I will be 25% done. It seems highly likely to me that I will write more and write better as a result of the program. That was the gamble that I took by taking 12 weeks off from my novel. But already it seems like it will pay-off. I should finish the course at the beginning of February. At that point, even if I write at my old rate I will finish a good draft by the beginning of April, but I expect to accelerate that schedule.
"b" is progressing nicely. My classes are set up, I know what I need to do to get into Penn, and the internship has been a great boost. Sometime this spring I will take the GRE and soon I'll start putting together my application for the summer studio at Harvard. This coming week I'll be attending the monthly meeting for the local green building community.
Overall I was happy with this month. It was shitty that my first two losses occured, and unforunately I would say it was slightly less virtuous than October, but only slightly. I need to get a little more intense this month. This points toward my goal in December: I want to clearly establish my personal guidlines and policies. One aspect of this will be coming up with a new budget, which is now necessary because Eva made her finances independent. This will happen very soon, if not today or tomorrow. Another way I will accomplish my aformentioned goal is to literally legislate for myself, like write down a list of policies. I already sort of do this in my head, and I stick to it surprisingly well. I just need to codify it in writing, make it more external, less subject to my emotions. I also need to constantly remind myself of what I'm doing and why it's important. This meditation isn't hard.
I lost more weight this month. I'm down to somewhere in the mid 170s. I'm hoping the last week hasn't screwed things up too bad. I'm going to keep going with my current program since it seems to be working.
So basically, let's keep posting guys, and striving to be our best. Dan, you need to have a perfect day--you're coming so close! I'm trying not to have a single loss this month. It's feasible; in fact, I did it in October.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 58-2
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Since break, my wins have been tougher than before break. I have to fight with myself more. Maybe I built momentum, and in fact, it was this hard back when I first started my current 60 day run, and the only reason it's hard now is because I need to regain my momentum. Who knows. I did my morning pages very well (finished in a 1/2 hour without rushing!), worked, did my French (made an extra effort to absorb information), spent a solid hour on "b", cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom, and after this I'm going on my assigned artist's date for the week.
It works better when I "get into" a task--basically that means that I forget about everything else, psychologically allow myself some time, and loose myself. Also, and I've said this before, aesthetics can be a hinderance to doing well. It's not important whether my life looks a way that strikes me as virtuous, as if I were watching it on tape, it just matters if it is virtuous, even if that means violating principles conceived a-priori. A-priori principles; aesthetics--very important, but they must be handled responsibily, otherwise they just make you a fool. I contemplated some values today that I need to keep reminding myself of (Eva helps with some of those). Hopefully tomorrow can be a "clean" win.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 57-2
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I came back strong today. I was able to get into a great state of mind during my morning pages, my "toilette" was efficient and even invigorating, I kicked ass at work in the morning, made myself a nice cappuccino, did my French, went over to AACC and got into their system and registered for my two architecture classes in the spring, came back finished up at work, then I went to yoga for an hour, which was great, and after this I'm going to take care of some admin and put in my 45 minutes of AW. Yesterday, even though I had a loss, I still accomplished some important shit. Eva opened her own bank account, so now I have complete control over the budgeting of my money. Within the week I will come up with a frugal budget for myself.
Yoga was refreshing and now I feel relaxed and peaceful. I would like to go again in the future.
My goal right now is to put together a 100-win streak. It's a lot, but I think I can do it.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 56-2
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: Already I'm calling this one a loss. Last night I barely achieved a "win". Up until when I posted, I was right on the line. Let's say the cutoff was "80%" or something--I was 80%. Then I said I would need to be on-point for the rest of the night. Let's say the cutoff for "on-point" was "90%"--I was 90%. So basically leading into today, I was technically willing to give myself the win, but without the satisfaction of it being definitive, or strong. Then this morning I just acted like an asshole. I lost my serenity, I overindulged in some food, and I only did 2/3rds of my morning pages. I'm pissed at myself. I need to get back into my good schedule. I'm not giving up for today, and I'll still try to do something good, but this one is going down as a loss.

Outcome: "Win, pending"
Record: 56-1
Streak: Won 18

Summary: Pending because I need to execute with discipline for the remainder of the night. It was rough getting back into my routine. It really makes me sad to leave Philadelphia. I'll be there soon.
I got back to eating healthy, getting up early, doing my morning pages (not that I didn't do them on break because I did), French for 15 minutes, accumulating about an hour and 45 minutes overtime, doing grocery shopping, and now I want to put in 45 minutes on AW and take care of some administrative crap. This sucks man, seriously, it's so depressing going back to this. I just read Williams Penn's prayer for Philadelphia, which I believe I've read before on a plaque on city hall. Good stuff. I'm going to do everything I can in my lifetime to preserve and cultivate our city's virtues.

Outcome for Sat and Sun: "Win"
Record: 55-1
Streak: Won 17

Summary: Had fun.

Week in review: This will need to be short because I have to go to bed. Last week was good, and it set me up nicely for the immediate future, both in terms of confirming my values and also giving me a much needed rest. Next week I want to follow my will very near to perfect.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 53-1
Streak: Won 15

Summary: Vacation is great. But I still get stressed, even when I'm on vacation.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 52-1
Streak: Won 14

Summary: I almost forgot to do my morning pages this morning, but then I remembered and it was quite nice. I read, prepared for the seminar, and got ready for dinner. Dinner was good, and in a few minutes we'll have our seminr. Barring some gross violation of ethics, I'd say I lived how I wanted to live today.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 51-1
Streak: Won 13

Summary: Tying things down in Annapolis. I will be in the Philadelphia metropolitan area starting tonight. I lost another pound, so now I'm at 176. Other than that, just the usual. I might sign up for classes at AACC real quick before leaving.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 50-1
Streak: Won 12

Summary: Seriously, another 5. Two in a row, hell yeah. And apparently I haven't been clear, or Dan hasn't been reading my blog well enough. The book is still "plan a". In fact, I'm working on it more than ever right now. AW is directly contributing to the book. AW is a 12 week program that I have undertaken specfically to aid in the process of writing my book. Already it is helping. The book is still #1.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 49-1
Streak: Won 11

Summary: With so much adversity, I still perservered, and I feel like a champ. Today would have been a 5. I'm not going to get into too much detail because of the personal nature of the most of the chief circumstances. Morning pages, work, French for 15 minutes (nice start by the way), and lots of critical "b". Picked up my bike from the shop and took care of a little admin. Would like to do some AW, perhaps read some Emerson to prepare for the seminar, but most importantly I need to get a good night's sleep tonight, since last night I didn't (through no fault of my own).

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 48-1
Streak: Won 10

Summary: What a horrible bitter day. I didn't do anything wrong--I exercised moderation and was generally ethical, and I tried to rest on my day off. The day started off nicely with morning pages, including my weekly check up, and then a nice breakfast. But starting after that there was the Eagles nightmare of a game. Oh God. Then Eva and I fought, and then I felt sick to my stomach and had a headache, and now I just feel overall like a big pile of shit.

Weekly Summary:
Work wise, this was a killer week. I finished my French lesson, completed the first of twelve sections in AW, worked my ass off at normal work and especially at the internship, exercised moderation, got a great start on my French grammar text, took care of a huge amount of administrative stuff, took the first step in lining up my classes for next semester, and got a nice lead for "b".
There were a few things I wanted to work on for this week: one was freeing up Sunday so that I could have a full day of relaxation. Well, I did free up Sunday, but Sunday sucked anyway. I love the Eagles, and I will always watch their games, but in a way I'll be glad when the season's over. A second thing I wanted to address was hazy principles. I still didn't sit down and create a set of "laws", but it's ok that I didn't. I was very deliberate in all my actions, and was, if anything, more conservative than I needed to be. I still want to legislate, so that should be coming soon. There was only one thing regarding sleep, that I'll talk about below, in which I fucked up a little. The AW stuff worked out great. 45 minute morning pages and then another 45 minutes later in the day for the exercises.
Outlook for next week: I want to continue my solid effort. Wednesday night through Sunday night will be a vacation, which is much needed. Monday through Wednesday afternoon will still be productive. Even while I'm vacationing, I'll do my morning pages--basically I'll treat it as a string of Sundays. I want to do at least 1 lesson in French, if not more when I'm relaxing on vacation (at this point the French is fun). There are a few things I want to take care of with "b" before I take off. Ideally I'd like to register for my classes before leaving. Probably the biggest thing I'd like to improve upon is return to my firm ways about sleep. I need to obey myself. I can't get sloppy. Here's how I handle sleep normally. I want to get 8 hours a night on working nights. If I'm getting up at 6:15, I need to be asleep by 10:15. But I figure that I won't fall asleep right away if I get in bed at 10:15, so I get in bed at 9:45, to ensure that I'll be asleep once it hits 10:15. One night, during my artist's date actually, I was sloppy in the following way: it was 9:45, and I was finishing up a movie. I won't get too much into an artist's date, but it's basically supposed to be time to yourself, to recharge and stimulate yourself, by yourself, with no distractions or worries. I was having a great time, and I wanted to be liberal with myself, you know, treat myself. So I figured that if I turned off the light, laid down in bed, and watched the movie that way, I'd fall asleep quickly at 10:15, so I could have the benefit of the 9:45 thing while still being able to watch my movie. I'm sorry, that was bullshit. The artist's date is great, and I want to respect it, but there are also things that I need to be firm about. Because I don't always remember how important sleep is on a gut level, I need to make a hard and fast rule for myself to direct my actions. That ways it doesn't matter whether I'm fully conscious of its value at that time or not, I will do it because I legislated myself to do it, and if I don't, it'll be a loss. That's what I mean about being strict with sleep. The only way I will make an exception is for an emergency, or if I petition my rational mind in advance with a good reason (for example, there's something I might attend late on Tuesday, and the reason I might allow it is because I won't see Eva again for another week, and the only way to see her is to go to the thing). We'll see. So yeah, more firm, more crisp in my actions. Still working on my state of mind and calmness, but that's been good. Yeah, just keep rolling I guess.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 47-1
Streak: Won 9

Summary: I could feel that my tank is almost empty. I need a break, but I still managed to pull out a win for today. I mostly did the internship stuff today, which is going well. On my way in I took a different route and discovered this beautiful neighborhood called Bolton Hill. I'd love to park over there and walk around. When I came back I went grocery shopping, made dinner, and after I'm done writing this, I'm going to do some dishes, probably start some laundry, finish my French for the week, and hopefully complete a few of the administrative things hanging over my head.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 46-1
Streak: Won 8

Summary: Today was a lot of working. First I did my morning pages, and then I went to Pronto. I worked there until 11, did a tiny bit of French, jumped in my luxury vehicle and drove to Bmore city, worked at TL until 7:30, drove back, made a healthy dinner, and before I go to bed I want to put together some stuff for my mom and my sister. The three of us are having a seminar on Thanksgiving, so I'm going to send them some basic stuff to get them ready. I need to finish my French lesson at some point this weekend. I also need to pick up my bike, do grocery shopping, and make my lunches for next week (before Sunday!). Sunday is going to be jam packed full of chillaxing.
Something caught my attention this morning when I left my apartment. The Naval Academy had this big electronic text billboard inside their gate, and "God Bless America" was written on it in large capital letters. In that instance, and much of the time when I hear American's today using the phrase, it would seem that they're not actually saying what they mean. I usually interpret the meaning as "God Bless America--isn't America great?" in which case it would be more to the point to say, "God has blessed America". It's kind of chauvinistic. It's like saying, "We're the shit, and not only that, God endorses us." The phrase in the abstract suggests a humple appeal, an uncertainty about the future and a willingness to trust God's plan for you, but I don't get the sense that people are trying to convey that idea when they use it.
One more random side note: I fucking love my car. It's such a champ. I'm tempted to gut it and put it in my living room after it dies, like, set up a shrine to it. It's the Brian Dawkins of cars. It's an 87, and it needed a few repairs when I got it. Not knowing whether it would even get me out of Annapolis (it did, in fact, nearly die as I rolled through the Bay Bridge Toll), since then it has gotten me to Philly, Quebec, back and forth all over Quebec, Ontario, back to Quebec, back to Philly, down to Annapolis, back up to Philly, back to Annapolis, and to Bmore and back several times. The interior light is broken, the dashboard looks vandalized, the gear box makes wierd noises, the engine makes wierd noises, one of the tires is patched, the driver seat doesn't go forward anymore, the passenger door doesn't open, and it sometimes needs two attempts to start. Still, it's transported me like a golden chariot. I feel so greatful.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 45-1
Streak: Won 7

Summary: Morning pages, work, French, took my bike in for a tune-up, went to AACC to meet with a counselor, and later tonight I'm going on my artist's date from AW.
In a lot of ways, today was great. It looks like the two classes that I need fit my schedule exactly. The crazy thing is that if I were to take them now, with my current work schedule, I'd be working about 8am-9:30pm Mon-Sat. Well, Saturday I'd get off at like 6, but still, that's a lot. However, I don't think my situation will be the same, so I'm not worrying about it. The only thing I could have done better with was work. It wasn't that I did bad--it was totally acceptable, even more than acceptable. But in truth, I was doing just enough to qualify as "doing a good job" and stopping there. I could have worked harder. Sometimes I think I should stop at the point that I stopped at, for the sake of conserving energy. But then sometimes I think that it's better to go full-on, both because perhaps it's ethically better, but also sometimes I find that if I work really hard, I have more energy later for some reason (well, I have to qualify that. What happens is complex, but I'm not getting into it now because I need to post and log off).

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 44-1
Streak: Won 6

Summary: Morning pages, worked, 15 minutes on French, hour on "b", and hour on AW. I figured out what I was doing wrong with my shots. Now I'm back to pulling good ones. I looked into getting a new computer today. First I discovered that AutoCAD only runs on Windows, although there are similar design programs that run on other operating systems. I wanted to get a mac, but perhaps this information will have ramifications for my selection. I'm wondering if I should still take a class on CAD. It seems to be a very commonly used program in the world of architecture. I'm meeting with a counselor at the community college tomorrow, so I can find out what their computer design classes cover.
Mentally I was sort of scattered today. At first I felt like shit, then I felt like the king of the world, and then I felt anxious/stupid. I figured out this math problem that came up through my AW exercises, and that made me feel less stupid.
I wish I had learned more about computers when I was younger.
It also seems that I was doing something incorrectly with my morning pages (better to figure this out now than in week 12!). To correct it, I will need to wake up earlier. That sucks because I was happy about only getting up a 1/2 hour before normal, but now I'll need to switch to 45 minutes, if not an hour. Whatever it takes, I'm going to do it.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 43-1
Streak: Won 5

Summary: For some reason I can't pull a shot to save my life anymore. The first few times I did it, they were either perfect or within one second of where they needed to be. Now I'm getting these ridiculous results, like one shot being 10 seconds short and then the next one being 20 seconds long, even though I was seemingly doing the same thing both times.
I worked well today. I advanced nicely in French. I exercised great restraint and moderation throughout the day. I controlled my emotions well. I looked at some summer architecture studios online, emailed someone at Penn about it, and looked at some CAD stuff. Then I came home and did my hour of AW, which went well. This morning I was able to do my morning pages in almost exactly a half hour, so I need not get up 45 minutes early anymore, which is a good thing, because getting up that early blew. Later I'm going to take care of some admin and continue on my grammar text. Oh yeah, speaking of which, I finished slightly over 1/8th of the entire French grammar text in AN HOUR last night. I'm quite proud of that, since the same amount took us a few weeks in class.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 42-1
Streak: Won 4

Summary: I worked hard but I made a pretty huge mistake today. That made me feel shitty. On top of that, I was feeling this irrational sense of worthlessness and hopelessness. My victory was centered around the fact that I still did what I had to do and conquered my shitty state of mind. I put in an hour on "b", started my French, and did an hour of exercises from AW. I think I need a full 45 minutes in the morning to do my morning pages, so now I have to go to bed at 9:45. So far the program seems good; I'm glad I'm doing it. One of today's exercises was to take "your artist" on a walk--basically just walk outside and follow your curiosity, just like a kid. Don't think about work, shit you have to do, or time, or anything like that. Just explore around outside. It was amazingly refreshing. I found all these hidden nooks in downtown, like cool backyard gardens, interesting building structures, etc. I'm going to take care of admin crap for about 45 min, and then I'm going to study a French grammer text so that I can finally graduate from the elementary reading level (HTRAB). Analytically reading in another language sounds so crazy to me. I think I'll write my critique essays in French if the text is French.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 41-1
Streak: Won 3

Summary: made breakfast, watched the Eagles, went shopping, talked to my family, made lunch for next week, put in my final hour of writing for the week, read the first chapter of Artist's Way, pondered my schedule, and after this I'm going to bed.

Weekly Summary
Good:
1. Put in all my writing time.
2. Performed at my Baltimore job--big push on "b"
3. Put in my normal time on "b"
4. Worked with diligence.
5. Controlled myself pretty well.
6. Finished a lesson of French.
7. Generally acted with good ethics.
8. Set up nicely for next week.
Bad:
1. First loss. Just crumbled that night. I'm trying to pick myself up and go forward.
2. Kind of scattered at the end of the week, but this is not really my fault and I will address it in my plan for next week.
Plan for next week:
The big change is with my writing project. The program in Artist's Way is comprehensive and requires a lot of time. I will put in an hour and a half each day--a half hour for the morning pages as soon as I wake up and an hour at some point later to work on the exercises. If I finish all of the exercises for the week, I'll put in some time on the novel, but I don't know whether I'll get the chance for that.
I will continue putting in an hour on "b" each day up until Friday. On Friday and Saturday I'll probably work in Baltimore again, which will definitely fill my "b" requirement for those days. On Thursday I'm meeting with a counselor at the community college about taking classes. I'll also look into setting up a meeting with someone at Strayer.
There's a chance that I'll run out of things to do at normal work this week. If that happens, I decided that I will hit the gym for an hour, and if I still have time left before my normal finishing time, I'll just do other shit (AW, b, novel, reading for understanding, etc.)
At some point soon, maybe tomorrow, I want to put down a set of principles for myself in concrete form. This has to do with what I was talking about the other day regarding changing my policies on a whim. If I legislate some laws for myself, especially covering food consumption and spending money, I will have a more clear idea of what I'm doing. Something like, 1. Only 1 coffee drink per day; 2. Only eat out once per week, except if it's during a vacation, etc. Maybe I'll print some of my laws on here.
Here are a few nuts and bolts things that I will be changing next week. I will be going to bed a half hour earlier to accomodate the morning pages, so that means getting into bed at 10. Another thing is that I'm finding my Sundays are still stressful, for various reasons. One thing that I have done on Sundays every week up until now is make my lunches for the following week. I'm going to change this. I'm probably going to do this on Saturday. Also, this week, because of the Baltimore thing, I ended up needing to shop and write on Sunday. That was excusable for this week, but I'm not doing that again. I need a full, uninterrupted day of chilling in order to recharge.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 40-1
Streak: Won 2

Summary: Hell yeah. I worked all day in Baltimore, learning quickly on the spot. I'm into the company and the work they do. I came back and wrote for two hours. Tomorrow I'll put in my last hour of writing for the week. Starting next week my writing schedule is going to be different because of the program, but I'm not sure how exactly.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 39-1
Streak: Won 1

Summary: I rebounded nicely today. I controlled my emotions very well, especially considering the circumstances, I worked, by the end of the night I will have taken care of some administrative things like setting up the printer and paying bills, but the big thing was putting in my first shift in Baltimore. I think this might be a great thing.

Outcome: "Loss"
Record: 38-1
Streak: Lost 1

Summary: *update* wow, this sucks, but I need to preserve the integrity of the system. Like I said, I needed to be strong tonight and I wasn't. I could have approached the personal thing that's going on better. I could have had much better control of my emotions. I could have done a much better job cleaning up. Talking with Dan was nice, but I didn't get off the phone when I needed to. Then I shot some balls on the pool table and read Philly magazine without observing the rules from HTRAB. Basically I was like the Eagles tonight. I scraped out a win, and then I just let it slip away into a stupid loss that shouldn't have been. Admittedly, today was extremely tough, but I need to do better. I know I can do better, and I will do better.
Today was the toughest day of my current streak. In fact, it would take very little for me to change it to a loss. The rest of the night must be dead on. But still, even with what I've done, I'm quite proud of myself.
The reason that it was hard was because of some personal shit that's going on. I wanted to say fuck it more than ever today, but I stayed strong in every aspect. I worked hard at work, wrote for an hour, advanced my French to the point where I'm sure I'll finish comfortably tomorrow, and I spent an hour on "b". To make my situation worse, I made a mistake on "b", compounding my emotional turmoil, plus I think I'm getting sick, I didn't sleep well last night, and there was something that had been clear in "b" that became unclear. But I think I made it through this one.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 38-0
Streak: 38

Summary: I took a barista class tonight, so maybe I could work at your coffee shop Dan. Espresso pulled correctly is a beautiful thing. I saved up an hour of time, put in an hour on the novel, did some stuff for "b", including a lengthy phone conversation, and took my barista class. I've felt meloncholy all day, but I perservered by force of will. That's a good thing. Maybe when the stoic, peaceful monk state of mind isn't happening, your only option left is to switch to warrior mode (power through everything).
I've been reading this book called The Artist's Way, which was recommended to me by the St. John's tutor I talked to a few weeks ago. It's a 12 or 15 week program (I can't remember which), with specific time requirements and tasks to complete. I'm fully committing myself to it. I haven't sat down and adjusted my schedule to accomodate it, but there's a good chance that my novel writing will be suspended (since the program is ultimately in service of the novel). That's not to say that I won't write at all. Maybe I'll continue putting in 6-10 hours a week, or maybe I'll cut down, or a third possibility would be that I have zero time to work on it. It's ok though, because I have patience, and in time it'll all happen. I'm just making it even better by doing the course.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 37-0
Streak: 37

Summary: Hell yeah--I feel very good about today. I would have given it a 5 under the old system. Executed masterfully on the details, got my first big break on "b", which is some contract work in Baltimore, made a call, wrote an e-mail, set up an appointment with an advisor at the community college to talk about classes I might take to prepare for the program at Penn, wrote for an hour, voted, made a great push on French, and tonight I'll do some cleaning/admin and read for at least an hour.
The herbal tea is working, no doubt. I love it. Also, I think I need to eat a little more at lunch, since I've been feeling hungry around 4, and if I stay at work until 6, I can either suffer or eat something from work that isn't very healthy. I don't need much more, just a bit more.
There was one excellent thing that I did today, which I hope to repeat in the future. I worked when it was time to work, and when, for example, I started worrying about "b", or freaking out about writing, I told myself that the time for those things would come around, and at that time I can address my concerns. In the meantime, just calm down and work; don't think about anything else. Obviously, I did the same thing when it was time to focus on "b" or time to write. This is just one more way of trusting my reason and controlling my emotions. It's satisfying for me to visualize something like the ancient Greek fates at their spinning wheel, to picture someone or something else moving a great wheel of time, and all I have to do is sit back and relax, because I know I'm getting my portion. I literally don't have to do shit. If I plan an hour for writing and an hour for "b", I am guaranteed those hours, so I need not worry when I'm not working on them--the time will come.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 36-0
Streak: 36

Summary: Nice start on French, hour and a half surplus of time at work, and organized my materials plus wrote an email for "b".
I made an adjustment to my daily schedule (making sure it was done rationally and calmly, ahead of time, a la my last post). So, I have a 1/2 hour for lunch at work. My old schedule was to eat and read some periodicals about Philly (Philly mag or Inquirer) for the first 15 minutes, and then do my french for the second 15 minutes. I decided this was too harsh. There a varieties of particular circumstances that made this stressful, all of which are too boring to get into here (if I could adequately convey them in the first place). So starting today my new schedule is to eat and relax for 15 minutes, even to meditate (breathe deeply and clear my mind), and then hit the French for 15 minutes. I could tell that I was more relaxed and productive as a result of my schedule adjustment. The other thing that made me want to do it was thinking about Saturday night--after I read analytically, in accordance with the rules from HTRAB, I burned out in an hour and a half. Now I'll read Philly mag or the Inquirer if I need a rest, that way I'm still keeping up to date and enjoying those sources of information, but I'm doing it in a non-stressful, in fact, rejuvinating fashion.
I also had the herbal tea for the first time. I think it worked, but its effects were subtle. I'll keep with it for a while.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 35-0
Streak: 35

Summary: Chilled, talked with Ben, made breakfast, watched Eva's soccer game, cleaned up, watched part of the movie Indochine, and after this I'm going to make my lunches for next week and eat dinner.

End of Week Summary: Another solid effort. I'm doing well with work, "b", and writing. Actually, I could push a bit harder with writing, but it's still completely satisfactory. How did I do with my goal from last week, about being more calm and efficient with my energy? I did well. I could do better. That's how it goes, but I'm still fighting, and as long as I don't give up, I'll get there. I picked up some herbal stress relieving tea from Whole Foods yesterday, and I'm going to start making myself a cup as soon as I get home. I have two specific goals for next week.
1. Continue working on my mental composure. Not much to say about this.
2. Here's a new one: be more rigid about obeying myself and only changing my policies and plans as a result of careful reasoning. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. I made a policy not to look at ESPN crap, because it's a waste of time. Instead, I committed to using that time for reading to understand (to use the phrase from HTRAB). Last night I practiced analytical reading from HTRAB for a while, but it was immensely taxing on my mental endurance. My head was throbbing! It was dumb to continue reading in the same fashion, so I just let myself fuck around online, including looking at ESPN. My quick rationale was that I had read as much as I could, and since I needed a break, and Saturday nights are for recharging anyway, it was cool if I just had a casual fuck-around session on the internet. Regardless of whether my impulse was sound, it wasn't done in a serious, rational way. My emotions were doing the talking and of course they're going to come up with some way to justify whatever they want to do. I need to be rigid with myself--if a part of myself wants to do one thing that I have forbidden, I need to make an appeal to my rational mind, to have the rule amended or revoked. After a serious session of contemplation, I can change my mind, but only if there's good reason. I can't just let my desire take the reigns and do what it wants. If it goes too far, of course I'd give myself an automatic loss. I don't think what I did last night warrants a loss, but I want to be more strict with myself in the future.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 34-0
Streak: 34

Summary: Talk about bullshit: I was shopping for a USB cable to connect my new printer, and the ones I found seemed outrageously expensive. $20 at Staples and $35 at Best Buy. What the hell? I don't remember simple cables being that ridiculously expensive. They cost as much as some of the cheaper inkjets. I refrained from making a purchase, and when I got home, I looked on newegg, which is where I got my printer, and I found one for $1. ONE DOLLAR! What is going on with that mark-up? A 3,400% mark-up is worse than wine at a fancy restaurant. Anyway, put a point on the board for frugality (I feel virtuous with my laser printer and $1 cable; I may never go to a brick and mortar electronics store again).
I shopped, had a nice lunch with Eva, stayed calm and relaxed most of the time (shopping on Saturdays is often one of the most stressful times of my week), I'm going to put in an hour of writing, and then I'm going to work on my outline of How to Read a Book. It was a nice day overall--I especially enjoyed the colors outside.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 33-0
Streak: 33

Summary: worked, finished my french lesson, went to my meeting in Baltimore, and wrote for two hours. The meeting was great. The person was helpful and encouraging. I'm 99% sure that I'm going for the Penn M.Arch degree with a certificate in ecological design. I got some contacts and things to look into.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 32-0
Streak: 32

Summary: other than the usual, finished writing the hardest section of the novel so far, wrote two e-mails for "b" and printed out some materials for my meeting tomorrow. I skated for the first time in months tonight. It sucks because everytime I stop I'm back to square one when I start. I'm back at my 8th grade level, so to speak. Oh well, fuck it, it's fun. I also realized that I love lasagna. I made a pan tonight for dinner, and it blew my mind. Listening to Satie right now. So beautiful. Les trois sarabandes, gymnopedies, et gnossiennes.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 31-0
Streak: 31

Summary: Worked, had an ethics victory, ate more healthfully than usual to compensate for last night, wrote for an hour, and set up a meeting for Friday.

Outcome: “Win”
Record: 30-0
Streak: 30

Summary: In keeping with my goal of cultivating a tranquil state of mind, I took a refreshing break for an hour and a half this afternoon. I rode my bike around the neighborhoods, looking at the trees, and I chilled out on a dock to watch the sun set. I also drank some herbal tea at work. I observed my ethics, wrote for an hour, and made a strategic move in “b”. I have two hours surplus at work still, which I think I’ll use Friday for a meeting for “b”.

Monthly Summary: The biggest thing is that I think I’ve found my system. It’s flexible enough that it can change as needed while still retaining its fundamental identity. To use the language of a famous proverb, I’ve figured out how to fish, and even though the catch might fluctuate, I’m still going to be eating. One big testament to the system’s quality, aside from the 30 days themselves, is the fact that the 30 days haven’t felt hard, barring one or two. That’s huge, namely, that the system be sustainable.
Objectively I’ve done a lot. I checked the blog and I hadn’t started actually writing my second novel draft before the 30 days began. In that time, I’ve completed about 17% of my second, almost polished draft. So in five more months, maximum, I should have a solid draft. I know that sounds like a lot, but I don’t care, because I’m moving forward with my other plans, and I’m not going to rush my writing. It’s infinitely better than last year in the sense that it’s actually something, i.e, more than zero. Those months will be over before any of us know it.
Plan b went from a vague concept to a tangible project. I’m meeting with someone in Baltimore on Friday who runs a sustainable design firm, and I’ve been in contact with several other environmentally related organizations in the area. I’ve also been writing to Upenn about their program and beginning the process of putting together my application.
My ethics have been overall solid this month. Not much to say about that in such a public forum, as much of that has to do with personal relationships.
I’ve also been sure to put in full, honest days of labor at work. It’s been annoying at times, since my true interests are suspended while I’m there. But I’ve used the time well given the weird schedule.
So I'm picking this up where I left off, and I can't remember the order of thoughts that I had in my head yesterday. Incidentally, I had a meaningful ethics victory last night and today, but that type of stuff I don't really want to put into the blog.
Objectively speaking, I wrote 17% of my book. Next month I would like to at least continue at this rate. I picked up a book about writing that was recommended to me by a St. John's tutor. It will probably affect my approach, but I'm not sure if it'll effect my absolute output. With regard to "b", I narrowed down my interests, first of all. At the beginning of the month I was trying to everyone about what I want to do since it wasn't focused. Now I'm much more focused, I think the Penn program in architecture would probably suit my interests well, and the path between where I am and there seems somewhat clear to me. I also have 1 internship that I might get that I've already applied to, one very promising contact in Annapolis, and a meeting on friday with someone in Baltimore. I have plans about next month, but I'll keep them to myself at the moment. Work was straightforward, but even with the job that I have I saved a respectable amount of money. I'm not stressing about money at any rate. Next month will be more of the same. (Not that I have the mythical 7 that's being chased around here, but I'm good for now). I've been getting into much better shape. I don't know how much weight I lost in this last month, but overall I've lost about 30 lbs. I don't know what weight at which I want to stop my descent--it'll more be a question of when my body looks right to me. More of the same next month, which should be a lot, considering what I've done this month. In French I've been keeping a steady pace. I'll keep going with 1 lesson a week, which means I'll finish my program in three months. It sounds like a lot, but I just need that 15 minutes a day. I'm also going to start reading Harry Potter in French to master the level of elementary reading in that language, to use the How to Read a Book term. After that I'll start reading heavier stuff. Speaking of reading, now I'm going to apply the system from the aformentioned book (not Harry Potter) whenever I read. I'm extremely psyched about the growth of understanding that it should bring.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 29-0
Streak: 29

Summary: Good ethics, worked very hard, stored up two hours for writing later in the week, and put in a solid hour on project b. I also got a great start on my French for this week, actually pulling ahead of my normal mark. I plan to do at least 1 hour of reading tonight. I'm making a chart for the system presented in How to Read a Book. Seriously, read it.
This morning I was thinking about ideal states of mind. One state of mind which has some virtues and is generally respected is the warrior state of mind. In this state of mind you are a beast, and everything you have to do is like a battle in which you're going to dominate your opponent. It's all about intensity. I like this state of mind in some respects, but I am pretty sure that it's not the best. I think it's better to be rational, calm, and optimistic. This ties into my whole thing about psychic energy. So, in following up on my stated area for improvement in my weekly summary, I'm going to cultivate the compassionate monk's state of mind. That will be in the forefront of my challenges. I want to relax my stomach muscles and breathe deeply. I want to be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness. I want to focus on one task at a time, calm and reassured that everything will get done in due time because I have crafted a rationally sound plan. I will save energy and be less prone to fucking up, freaking out, and mistreating others. This is my hypothesis.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 28-0
Streak: 28

Summary: At first I couldn't make it for an entire week and now it's been four. I would think that I'd be happier than I am now, but I feel like shit. Probably because of the Eagles. Win or lose, I'll still root for them and watch the games.

Week in Review
Things I did well:
1. Put in a solid effort on the novel.
2. Put in a solid effort at work.
3. Read a lot--finished How to Read a Book for the first time, and last night I blasted through Encyclopedia of Manliness, although that wasn't "reading for understanding" as Adler and Van Doren put it, it was "reading for entertainment", so it's less of an accomplishment, if it's an accomplishment at all.
4. Made a few strong moves on project b. It's tough at times because my problem is precisely that I don't have a place to start, which is what I need to solve me problem. But I'm getting there, and I know that soon things will take off.
5. Finished an entire French lesson, as planned.
6. Didn't let the Eagles loss affect me too adversely.
Things I need to work on:
1. Controlling my feeling of being hurried and my irrational stress. Saturday was kind of bad. I have two strategies for this. One is to continue doing what I have been doing, which is to meditate and work on cultivating a calm, rational state of mind. This works sometimes and doesn't work other times. I think over all I'm winning that battle. The other thing is looking into therapy. Before I can do that I need insurance. And before I get that I'd need to get another job.
That's about it for stuff that's glaring. I just need to maintain, continue plugging away and executing on the big stuff. Ethics, book, project b, and work, that comprises "the big stuff".

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 27-0
Streak: 27

Summary: Spent the morning with Eva, went shopping, bought my own copy of How To Read A Book, unpacked groceries, cleaned, did laundry, worked on the novel for an hour, and for the rest of the night I'm reading. 3 things.
1. Last night, when I went to hang out with Christian, I had an unexpected meeting with a tutor from Santa Fe, who was here for the board meeting. It was great talking to him. He was encouraging and made me feel like even last year, during a time when I basically felt like a piece of garbage, I was doing good things. We talked about a lot of stuff, and it was refreshing to have conversation of that quality again.
2. How to Read a Book is fucking awesome. I'm a few pages away from the end, but as soon as I finish, I'm going to read it again and create a wall chart based on the method in the book. I can recognize the merits of their method, and I will use it whenever I can.
3. I was so stressed out while shopping today. Mentally I was just freaking out. Everything was fucking with me. I ate a piece of chocolate and felt like I ruined my good work up until now, and when I bought the book, I felt guilty about spending the money. I was guilty and angry the whole time. People moving too slow at the store made me want to scream. My lack of mental composure almost made me give myself a loss. Fortunately I was able to work very hard to counteract my freak out, drank lots of water and took a flaxseed oil pill, and eventually I calmed down. I feel like I overcame whatever that was. One day when money isn't an issue, I think I'll check out therapy. I can recognize better and worse overall states of mental health in my own past and theraputic things that I've done for myself, like reading and thinking. Still, I'm curious about clinical psychology and whether it might be able to better my life. We'll see. For right now I feel good about my situation.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 26-0
Streak: 26

Summary: Friday's are tough because often I have a big chunk of time where I'm just sitting by myself in my house with the intention of writing or doing research. If there's ever a situation where I'm prone to fucking up, that's it right there. But I kept up my effort. I put in my time at work, even getting a half hour extra for next week, finished a long lesson 6 in French (I've been working on that every day even if I don't write about it), wrote to admissions at Penn about one of their programs, contacted the Department of Natural Resources in Maryland to see about internships, took down some information about classes, and wrote two chapters in the book. After posting I will probably order a printer and write a thank-you note to my granddad.
Yeah, being fat is morally shameful, unless it is caused by an actual illness or some other unavoidable condition. There was a day when I was sitting on a bench in one of the busiest sections of Annapolis, and for about 30 seconds there wasn't a single, non-fat person in my field of vision. I was totally shocked. I don't know what made me think about it, but when I did, I was blown away by the fact that out of probably hundreds of people in front of me, 100% of them were fat.
I understand the temptation of food and the difficulty of exercise, and I even felt like I might have been able to consider myself fat for a little while last year, but it's still shameful. Addressing that has been one of the focal points of my new program. Speaking of which, I weighed myself today and I dropped another pound, so I'm down to 178 after starting at above 200. And that weight loss is just from eating better, not necessarily from going to the gym. I jog sometimes and ride my bike, and I also try to scale this wall by my apartment every time I pass it, but I don't go to the gym.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 25-0
Streak: 25

Summary: I used my two-fold strategy effectively again today--my preferred tact was to try to think about my situation and my tasks in a way that motivates me to do them. This worked some of the time, and when it did, it was a pleasure to be working. When it failed, my iron-fisted half took over and basically operated with pure will and reason. I find that even when I'm in mode #2, after I start a thing, I get into it and can switch into mode #1, but I need that initial jumpstart.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 24-0
Streak: 24

Summary: Today was an easy win. I racked up two and a quarter hours of overtime, so I won't see the work that I would have done today until Friday. I have faith that I'll do what I need to do.
I had a nice inspiration this afternoon. Of course it's inspiration, so it'll go away soon, but in the meantime it's been good. I transcended the anxiety caused by the feeling that The State of Worthiness is somewhere that I am presently not. I was able to take pleasure and pride in ethical living fundamentally and trust that the things I plan for will come. This is the main lesson I take from Self-Reliance. I'm being vague, I know, but I only wanted to sketch the feeling.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 23-0
Streak: 23

Summary: One way we can motivate ourselves is through inspiration. I'm including changing the way you think about something in the term inspiration. When inspiration is available, it can be a powerful force. The problem with it is that it isn't always available, and when it's not, you must have a strong willpower and a clear rational grasp of what you're doing. In moments like that you simply must power through your tasks. Today was a good example of this. During the day I meditated on some principles that made me feel great about my situation, and thus I worked very hard without difficulty. At night the feeling stopped, and I couldn't bring it back, but I still had stuff to do. I basically accepted my shitty feeling and said to it that I don't care if it's there, because either way I'm going to get done what I want to get done. And I did, just powering through. Having that power is largely based on sleep, exercise, and nutrition, as far as I can tell.
Worked well, wrote for an hour, got an hour overtime, and spent 45 so-so minutes on plan b. That isn't a huge deal because I'll get that hour later this week.

Outcome for 10/22: "Win"
Record: 21-0
Streak: 21

Summary: Chilled out at my house, watched the Eagles tragedy unfold, got hoagies, got coffee, picked up a whole Lorenzo's for everyone for dinner, drove back to Annapolis, had some cake, and went to bed.

Week in Review: Philly was fun as always. I did a good job this week (I genuinely avoided a loss). There are three key areas I want to focus on for next week. 1)I want to continue my 1 hour per day minimum writing. This worked gloriously last week, and I want to keep it up. 2) I want to make more of a push on plan b. I've already allotted at least an hour a day to it, but I need to be more aggressive. 3) Last week I could have made a more sincere effort at work, especially Friday. Not that I was straight up negligent, but perhaps I got too relaxed for a moment. Next week I want to go back to putting in impecable days (this will be a huge challenge since I'm very restless and want to be doing all writing and plan b).

Outcome for 10/23: "Win"
Record: 22-0
Streak: 22

Summary: I basically fasted today and just drank water to clear myself out. Hoagies, pizza, candy, cheesesteaks, cake, etc. will fuck you up. It fucked me up. I also didn't get enough sleep, so I'm going to bed very early tonight.
I put in a 95% solid effort at work, better than last Friday, but could have been slightly better. I just felt so crappy all day.
I spent a very good hour writing. I almost skipped it today because I was so tired, which, of course, would have warranted an automatic loss, so I powered through my tiredness.
I spent an hour working on Plan B. I contacted the director of an environmental design/"green" architecture firm in Baltimore to see about the possibly of talking to someone there about my interests.
Yeah, fucking Eagles. I don't know, in a way I feel less concerned about wins and losses after Sunday. I think if they're doing really well and obviously on track for the Super Bowl, it's like they're keeping up a perfect volley and it's crushing to drop it/lose. If they start losing a lot, and it seems like they might still make it to the Superbowl, but maybe not, losses are not as hard to bare, at least for me. I'm not saying that I've given up on this season--far from it, but it's more like I won't be super dissapointed if they don't make it to the post season. If they do, it'll b a pleasant surprise, something I didn't see coming or take for granted.

Outcome for 10/21: "Win"
Record: 20-0
Streak: 20

Summary: Went to Philly, hell yeah. Stopped at Tony Luke's for cheese steaks for the meat eaters, while I got an Uncle Mike's with cheese. It was delicious but too spicy. The place was South Philly par excellence. Before leaving the area we got pretzels at the Philly Soft Pretzel factory at 3 for 1$. Ben said this was the best pretzel he'd ever had. It was one of the best I'd ever had. Then we drove into Center City, dropped Ada off at the subway to go meet her friend at Temple, and afterward the rest of us went to the Rittenhouse area. We got delicious cappucinos at La Colombe, walked around, hung out at the Barnes and Noble, picked up Ada, walked up Broad through City Hall and went back to Rittenhouse. The girls went to some stores, while Ben and I watched skaters at City Hall/Love Park. For dinner we met my family at Charles Plaza in Chinatown, which was lovely. Finally, we went to South Street to finish off the night. By the way, Ada, who is from north Jersey, and Ben, from San Francisco, both said, almost upon first taste, that Lorenzo's was the best pizza that they'd ever had in their lives, hands down.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 19-0
Streak: 19

Summary: It's important on days full of unusual things to keep a focus on priorities. Today at work was casual--someone brought in free lunch, I had a nice coffee in the morning, and I got to participate in a cupping. I was feeling free and happy with my friday. Then I got this wierd aesthetic anxiety, like my work-day was somehow less than my best and that I was going to get a loss today. But I figured if I wrote, which I did, and kept up with the French, which I did, and spent any extra time on plan b, which I would have if I had any, then it was ok and I could still count the day as a win. Basically writing, plan b, and ethics are the real fundamental criteria, and if I cover those things, then I'm good.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 18-0
Streak: 18

Summary: Hour of writing, worked, planned for this weekend, did enough French so that I'll finish the lesson tomorrow, worked on project x for an hour, made dinner, and soon I'll read.
Here's how much I'll say about project x: it is no longer active; instead, it is being subsumed under a larger project, which is to start down the path of a plan b in case the book doesn't work, meaning graduate school preparation, looking into different programs, etc. I'll let you figure out what project x was. Right now I'm researching the functions and professional lives of urban planners and green architects, as a start.
I noticed that I tighten my stomach muscles pretty much all day. That probably wastes a lot of energy. Only when I become aware of it do I temporarily relax them. I'm not going to stress about this too much, but I will try to work on it. Like Andy Ried says, "we need to do better on that" Speaking of which, briefly, what the hell Mike Lewis? He went from being one of my favorite players on the team, who I viewed as an underrated Dawkins, to not being able to cover shit on the pass. He still tackles like a beast, and I have faith that he'll turn around, but damn.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 17-0
Streak: 17

Summary: Writing for an hour and a half, French for 15 minutes, normal stuff, tried to adjust my schedule so Eva and I can spend more time, and worked on project x. Tonight will be reading.
I'm ready to reveal project x, sort of. But first Dan must post. That's the deal: I'll stop being mysterious if Dan starts posting again. Hell yeah D-rock on the accomplishments and the regular posting.
So Dan, you know how you've mentioned a point where a person starts living virtuously and never turns back? Like after all the false starts and fuck ups, maybe you can finally launch and maintain it with some kind of permanence? I don't want to jinx myself or be overconfident, not to mention my skepticism as to whether such a point actually exists, but if it does exist, maybe I reached it. Who knows. I'm not inflating my scores at all, and I can't see myself faltering right now.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 16-0
Streak: 16

Summary: Today I did a good job with the things I committed to working on. I maintained good mental control and had a positive outlook. I should mention that last night I read a ton, in a quality fashion, and I'm about 160 pages into the book now after two days. That's the kind of progress that I like to see. I wrote for an hour and a half today. My outline for the first part is finalized, and I'm ready to go full-on with writing it. That should maybe take 2 weeks. I did some of the French lesson, and just now I put some time into project x. Getting a full night of sleep last night was hugely beneficial toward every aspect of my endeavor for virtue today. It's so essential.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 15-0
Streak: 15

Summary: Today, like that one day last week, was another close win. Some things I did well: writing was great, and I overcame my initial malaise that I felt when I woke up. Things I didn't do well: I looked at Philadelphiaeagles.com for injury updates and commentary, which is bad because I committed to stop reading crap like that, since it is incidental to the actual games. I was still bummed about the game, which I think needs to be worked on. By that I mean that I need to do better making sure that the games don't affect me negatively. My project x time was so-so, but in retrospect, it wasn't terrible (I only put in about 1/2 an hour). I'm giving myself the win on the condition that I exhibit good mental control throughout the rest of the day, cook and clean efficiently, and read during my leisure time. If I screw up any of those things, I'm logging on and changing the outcome to a loss.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 14-0
Streak: 14

Summary: Sad loss for the Eagles. I have to try extra hard to maintain my composure. Getting up was nice, the game was horrible, I ate too much at the bar and I'm feeling sick, I cleaned a lot and made lunch for next week, and later I'll probably read. I didn't do anything really unethical today, that I know of, so that's why I got the win (this is supposed to be my day of rest).

Weekly Summary: This was another awesome week in terms of striving for virtue. I took care of the basics--ate moderately, did my job faithfully at work, took care of my domestic tasks, and treated others with respect. I put in a lot of work on project x--this week it actually got off the ground, and if I continue putting in work at the same level, it'll be a huge success. I didn't write a lot because I was working on project x. This will be changed next week. I completed at least 1 lesson in French (I can't remember how much I did)--I only work on that for 15 minutes Mon-Fri on lunch break at work. I finished Hebrew Thought Compared With Greek. It was very interesting, but I felt like I didn't have a way to know whether the guy was right or not, since I'm not a Hebrew scholar (I'm not a Greek scholar either). I just enjoyed the ride. His hypothesis is beautiful, if nothing else. Definitely worthwhile.
Plan for next week: The big adjustment I'm going to make to my system is to require myself to write for at least an hour each day, including Saturday. Project x is the most important project right now, but I can't let it eclipse the writing. As always I need to continue working on my mental control and maintaining a good state of mind. I did better with that this week, but I still have a long way to go. Also, I need to read even more--again, I did more of that this week, but I need to do more. I basically get involved in distractions which are not necessarily forbidden by my system, but are still not the best I could be doing. Here's an example: one day this week I had about 2 1/2 hours that I could have read before going to sleep. While I was finishing up my tasks in the kitchen, Eva started watching Gilmore Girls on her computer. In my system currently, the time between the completion of all my chores and bedtime is free for relaxation, but ideally I should spend it doing something of high value, such as reading. That night I let myself sit down and watch Gilmore Girls for the whole 2 1/2 hours. It wasn't a failure or forbidden by the system, since I'm allowed to relax at the end of the night, but it would have been better if I used the time reading. Well, on the other hand, since it was time with Eva, it was good in that sense, so maybe I could have spent an hour watching that and an hour and a half reading. Or on another night, I talked to a friend on the phone, which is virtuous, but the call really didn't need to take 2 hours, as it did. Like watching GGs, it wasn't forbidden, but I could have maybe talked for 1/2 an hour and read for 1 1/2 hours. My next book is How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler.
Yo Dan, seriously, your goal for next week should be to post on your blog. D rock is kicking your ass with posts, and I haven't seen anything from Kyle in a long time.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 13-0
Streak: 13

Summary: The first half of my day was perfect. I got up leisurely, ate a nice breakfast with coffee, hung out with Eva, showered, and then we did all of our shopping in an hour and half, including shitty driving and parking time. I love that I only drive once a week. After than we unpacked the stuff, I cleaned the bathroom, I did some dishes, and then I put in a solid hour on the novel, using my new strategy of short but numerous time bursts to work on it. It went well, and from here on out I'm chilling, hoping to finish a ton of reading, and later I'll watch a movie with Eva.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 12-0
Streak: 12

Summary: Today was an all around solid day. There was a short stretch of time in the morning when I started to panic, like I sensed that the day was heading toward disaster. At the time I recognized my emotions as irrational, and I actually cured it by going over all the things I was going to do today in my head and drinking a cup of coffee. It worked.
I did all the normal stuff, plus worked 4 or 5 hours overtime for the week (which amounts to basically a full day of normal pay), did a few errands, and then in the evening I completed a big step in project x and wrote for about an hour and a half.
I had a thought while I was writing tonight. I noticed that the law of diminishing returns is especially true for me when it comes to writing, I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's so demanding. But in any event, I lose steam quickly, and I get to the point where I'm basically writing horse shit if I force myself to continue. I remedy this in a variety of ways--sometimes I switch to revision tasks, sometimes I work on project x for a while, and sometimes I take a short break. They all seem to work, but even once I start up again, the amount of recharge that I get keeps getting smaller and smaller compared to what I had at the beginning. Then I imagined a scenario that might be ideal for me in the future. Perhaps I can work during the day in green architecture, or sustainable development--something environmental and technical. Say I get off at 4:30, then I can do some intense yet fun workout for an hour, something like Parkour or even skateboarding. Then from 5:30 to 6:30 I could go to a library or my study and work on an original contribution to the humanities--an essay, literature, or philosophical writing. Maybe this could be profitable financially, maybe not, but that wouldn't be the point. I'd do it every day (Mon-Sat, let's say), so I'd end up putting in a fair amount of time by the end of the week, but I'd divide it into managable time chunks. Having that in my life perpetually would be deeply fulfilling and would provide a refreshing counterpoint to my professional life. At 6:30 I could start dinner, and then for the rest of the day it would be eating, relaxing, chatting, listening to music, reading, cleaning, and... Anyway, that was a vision I had that appealed to me.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 11-0
Streak: 11

Summary: I think I have surpassed my all time high streak. Things were easier today than yesterday, by far. I didn't fight myself, I conserved energy, and I even enjoyed some of my tasks. All the normal stuff + finishing lesson 4 in French, reading 15 minutes of Philly mag, huge step forward on project x, and after this I'm going to read and possibly clean a bit. I'm proud of myself for limiting my delicious cupcake intake to one per day, even though there's a clutch of them sitting on the kitchen island looking at me with seductive eyes everything I walk by.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 10-0
Streak: 10

Summary: I burned some energy today stressing, which is never good, but ultimately I prevailed. It was a close one, mainly because circumstances kept arising that were obstructing or complicating my plans. I was basically in a 4th and long situation at one point, and I connected on a 50 yard pass to my better half, who made a leaping catch, stumbled, almost fell, regained his balance, juked past the defender, and ran with the ball straight into the endzone! (It's Eagles season, and while I think spectator sports have, in some ways, evolved into a grotesque form, I still love watching the Eagles and sometimes I even draw inspiration from it). I exhibited enough patience and flexibility to triumph, and now I'm ready to sleep and tackle my projects again tomorrow.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 9-0
Streak: 9

Summary: I think my all time high streak was around 14, or maybe it was 10, but anyway, I'm getting up there. Today I started healthy, worked with two hours and 15 minutes overtime to save up strategic flex-time for Friday to use on project x, worked on project x for 45 minutes, finished the grammer in lesson 4 of French and started doing the exercises, read Philly mag for 15 minutes, did some laundry, some bills, administrative stuff, right now I'm listening to a new cd with Gershwin and Ravel on it, and in a bit I'll help clean up from dinner and read.
One thing that was awesome today was that I rebounded from a potentially catastrophic state of mind. Because of the ridiculously warm weather today, I started freaking out about global warming, then I thought about N. Korea and nukes, then I basically imagined armageddon and the scenes from the opening of Terminator 2. What made it worse was that I was taping fucking boxes when I wanted to be building a shelter and hoarding great books. But then I managed to control my anxiety attack, and while I don't think that the problems I was considering are insignificant, but if there's anything that can be done, it won't get done in that state of mind. I managed to become rational again.
Here's a hugely successful strategy that I've probably already talked about but had the occasion to revisit today: at least for me, sometimes I do things because I'm more comfortable with a certain way, or because doing things that certain way way appeals to me aesthetically. Here's an example: I've arranged my schedule so that each day I have about an hour and half in the middle of the day to work on my projects, plus an hour to an hour and a half at the library after work. I like this schedule because it works. Then today I realized that another Friday completely off would be very strategic for me, but that if I continued at my current rate, I wouldn't work the hours for that (since I was following my normal schedule). I decided to be flexible and change my schedule just for this week because the objective result would be better--I'm allowing myself a minimal amount of project time prior to Friday so that I can work overtime and get off that day which allows me more project-completing power than I could have had in individual time chunks. There's intertia that I have against adjustments like that, but it's essentially emotional and/or aesthetic. Sometimes I feel like I want one system/schedule to comprehend every situation and then work as hard as I can to stick with that schedule. But it's important to keep thinking and focusing on the result and what will get the best result given the particular circumstances and project. I guess this is just basically being flexible, but to me it's super important yet very difficult to incorporate.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 8-0
Streak: 8

Summary: Quick one, because I want to read: good wake up, healthy breakfast, biked, worked, worked on project x, worked on 2nd draft restructuring, biked, made dinner, cleaned, took care of paper work, now I'm going to perform my nightly toilette, read, and go to bed.

Outcome: "Win"
Record: 7-0
Streak: 7

Summary: A win, like the Eagles. I'm glad finally to make it 7 straight days for the first time this year. Sunday's are for relaxing, but I also need to observe my principles of ethics, which has tripped me up before. Today I stayed strong: I woke up leisurely, cooked a nice breakfast for Eva and I, and then I went for a bike ride in the park. This is when things got crazy. I got a flat in basically the deepest part of the park, and I didn't have the gear to fix it. It was 3:30 at the time, and the Eagles were kicking off around 4:15. I basically dropped the bike and sprinted, Lito Sheppard style, about 5 miles back to downtown so I could watch the game. During the game I ate moderately, and afterward I was focused on the tasks I needed to accomplish in order to go to bed: I retrieved my bike, fixed the tire, cooked lunch for next week, cleaned up a bit, performed my dental hygiene, and now I'm writing this.
Summary for the Week: I worked a full week, made a budget for Eva and I by which we'll have a comfortable amount of saved ducats by the time of our Philly move, invested a ton of time into project x, wrote some, cleared my head and focused my goals, read about 50 pages in Hebrew Thought Compared With Greek, got half way through section 4 of my French program, performed all of my domestic tasks faithfully and with the proper respect, ate healthfully, was moderate in general, exhibited good hygiene, and rested myself well this weekend.
I should say that I'm nearly done with my weight loss goal. At the height of my fattness, I think I was around 210. Right now I'm 180 or 181. My original goal was to get to 180, but now I realize that it's not so much about a number but about getting a body form that looks healthy to me. I still need to loose some weight (I mean shit, I'm not that tall). I keep losing pounds every week, so I'll get there soon.
Things I need to work on: I still need to improve my control over my mental state and my impulses. I feel like the worst level is just being controlled by emotions and impulses. The middle level, where I am right now, is where your emotions and impulses are out of control, but you force yourself to obey your better judgment. I feel like the best situation, like Aristotle says, is to have a calm mind that is habituated to love virtuous things and be in harmony with your good judgment. That way you're not battling with yourself, and you can spend that energy kicking ass.
I need to work on maintaining a more clear conception of what I'm doing and what I'm striving towards. I've been pretty good on this, but I could do better.
In general, I'm happy with what I did this past week. I wasn't even trying to inflate my scores or bend my standards because I wanted a 7-0--I really fought hard this week to do things the right way, and it worked out.
Actually, I think I could read more-- that was deficient this week. Still, I've got less than 100 pages left on my book.
Next week I want to make significant progress on project x, if not complete it. I want to maintain a good mindset; I want to maximize my work time, and thoroughly turn off and enjoy my leisure time. I want to read more. I'd like to finish my restructuring for my second draft of the novel. I'd also like to break 180 pounds, get down into the 170s.

Result: Win
Record: 6-0
Streak: 6

Summary: Within the system that I'm currently using for myself, Saturday's are a day to accomplish domestic tasks during the first half and to read and relax during the second half. So far, and unless something crazy happens,mission accomplished. Eva and I planned the week's meals, went grocery shopping, I did dishes, cleaned, straightened up, and since about 4 I've been reading. I'll continue reading until Eva gets home.
I fuckin love reading. I can't even put it into words. No doubt that ducats have tremendous liberating value, as Derek points out. If I had enough ducats that I didn't have to work, my daily activity, aside from domestic things, would be reading and thinking. My task, from now until I die, would be to find truth. That might mean math, or physics, or cognative science, or linguistics, or literature, or whatever, but I would read and think all day, just for it's own sake. I guess I'd also seek out and admire beauty for its own sake as well. Damn--fine wine and Debussy, then inspiration from Emerson, and then contemplating the core of formal systems with Godel, picking up the latest physics journals, and then falling asleep reading some great literature. I can only imagine. Right now, back to Hebrew Thought Compared With Greek.

Outcome: Win
Record: 5-0
Streak: 5

Summary: Today was a big win. Like I said, I already put in most of my week's hours prior to today, so I basically didn't have work. Instead I advanced my projects. I put in a huge amount of time working on project x. For my novel, I did write some, but I spent more time looking into possible grants and publishing avenues. I also spent time organizing my personal stuff, including credit card, budget, and looking into getting a new printer. I was frugal by eating at home all day and utilizing leftovers. That saved 10$ right there.
Throughout my day I experienced a full cycle of emotions--excitment, nervousness, optimism, despair, intimidation, and confidence to name a few. What pleased me was that while I was experiencing the good emotions I still paced myself to avoid burning out, and while I was experiencing the bad emotions I reflected on philosophical principles to get me though it as well as making my will like iron, basically just doing it and saying fuck-me, I don't care about my bad feelings right now.
Today served to collect my thoughts and focus my goals. It was a good "overall picture" day. I'm coming out feeling good, when I know that last year this same day would have ended in me feeling like a piece of shit and buying cokes and gummy worms at the corner store.

Result: Win
Record: 4-0
Streak: 4

Summary: Woke up well, biked, put in an honest effort at work, read Philly mag for 15 minutes, went through the chapter 4 French dialogue once with the audio, broke ground on a new project that shall remain unnamed and undescribed until it is completed (spent 3 hours total on that), biked home, cleaned, made dinner, and now I'm going to read and go to bed.
I have come to believe that if a person is happy and lives an ethical life, that counts for a lot. That counts for almost everything. Our webring of blogs here seems to encourage improvement and ambition, which are good and exciting, but they're garbage if lacking either ethics or happiness. Well, the happiness thing is more complex, I believe. That depends on how you're looking at the question. I'll save that for another time. But mainly I'm trying to say that looking at a person who is happy and ethical is looking at a person who is doing all right.

Result: Win
Record: 3-0
Streak: 3
Summary: I'm storing up a bank of time this week at work. Even if I don't work overtime tomorrow, I'll still be leaving at 9:30 on Friday. That basically leaves me with a whole day to accomplish stuff. SO in a way, my wins are contingent on how I spend the extra time. I'm confident though, and I'm not going to withhold giving myself the win because of that. Other than working a ton, I had a good wake up, healthy food, exercise, read Philadelphia magazine for 15 minutes, finished studying the dialogue in section 4 of the French, worked on my budget, and now I'm going to help with dinner, clean, and possibly read.

Outcome: Win
Record: 2-0
Streak: 2

Day in Review: First of all, hell yeah Dan for getting back in, and hell yeah Eagles for getting theit shit together and playing like they should be playing. I had a crisp start to my day, even though I went to bed late because of the game, I worked my full day at worked, biked, wrote one letter and one e-mail, worked through the beginning of lesson 4 in my Advanced French course, read Philadelphia magazine for 15 minutes, backed up data in preparation for a full factory restore on my computer, took out the trash, cleaned, and logged an hour and a half overtime at work, which taken together with yesterday's hour and a half, means I basically get half a day off to accomplish shit on Friday.

I'm going to adopt a slightly different scheme. First, I'm going to do daily, weekly, monthly, and perhaps yearly summaries; second, I'm going to do something analogous to a win-loss statistic--each day I excel and live virtuously at the level of, say, a 4 or a 5 under the old system, I'll give myself a "win", if not I get a "loss"; finally, I'm going to keep streak counts, similar to the "day count", which just keeps track of how many solid days, or "wins", I've had in a row.

Today: Win
Daily Summary: I was able to be flexible enough to take care of some unusual stuff and still to be able to finish what I had to take care of. I worked an hour and a half overtime at work, so that's an hour and a half I'll use for writing or pursuing other things. I ate healthfully today, biked to and from work, and when I get home I'm going to cook dinner for the house. After dinner it's Eagles o'clock.
Record: 1-0
Streak: 1
(I just barely didn't achieve a "4" yesterday. I don't have time to get into it--it was kind of shameful, nothing major. I was tempted to count it as a day lived well, but I didn't want to because I want to maintain high standards for myself).

Day 6

I like the look of that 6. I've been killing it so far this weekend. Obviously, that 6 is contingent on me not fucking up for the rest of the day. But so far I have been mainly writing, but aside from that I maintained a pleasant comportment and healthy eating. I'd say since yesterday afternoon I've logged about 15 hours of writing time. Yeah, that means I was up until 6 this morning and then got up around 11 to continue. I'm feeling good, and later I'm planning to get my grocery shopping done, clean up, and get everything set so I can be super chill tomorrow.

Day 5

Big last minute crunch on the essay. I'm happy with the way it's turning out. I'd be really psyched if I turn out an awesome essay and I don't fall apart this weekend like I did in previous weekends.

Day 4

Day 3

Today and yesterday were great. I finished a 98% polished draft of my essay. Things are just falling into place.

Day 1

Back to working. I did well today. Nothing unusual. Writing, put in my time at work, cooked dinner. I'm going to write again for an hour later tonight.

YO YO YO,
so I see Dan isn't posting these days--what's up with that? I kind of fucked up this weekend, although there were some triumphs mixed in. I triumphed in being able to remind myself of my priorities in my personal life and doing a good job attending to them. I fucked up by slacking on my health/domestic stuff. I ate a bunch of garbage starting last night and into today. I wanted to clean, but I haven't yet. I wanted to write, but I probably won't until tomorrow. Partially this is understandable. With Eva's cousin coming, and the holiday, my schedule was thrown off this week. Also, my triumph cost a huge amount of psychic energy, which drained me and hampered my ability to follow through on the smaller stuff. I did get a lot of reading done. Read some Emerson, which is so good I'm considering requiring myself to read it everyday again as I did last year for a time, and I also read Hebrew Thought Compared With Greek, an academic book that Eva's uncle sent me. It's good, but it's slow going and difficult for me to form an opinion on regarding its truth.
Heading into next week, here's my plan: there is some what and some how that needs refocusing. The what is my scheduling and executing, which has been pretty good lately. I have a wierd schedule at work right now that gives me an hour and a half off in the middle of the day, and I've been using that as flexible utility time. Sometimes I write, sometimes I take care of administrative stuff. It's good because I can't be interrupted there, and I can't leave, and both of these things help. I need to do better being conscious of my goals and my progress on them and assigning time accordingly. For example, the essay deadline is coming up, so I need to push that to the top of the list of priorities. I wanted to create something that would organize my bill payments and chores into an easy reference list, but this can wait until after the essay is completed. Basically, I need to have a constant awareness of what my projects are, what state they are in, what I need to do to advance them, and then assign time to work on them using all the tricks that I've been learning. Going to the library for a few hours before coming home has been huge. I'll continue that as well.
Once I get home, I'm finding that it doesn't work as well to rigidly divide my time. Eva doesn't go for it, and when the tasks require two people, it doesn't seem right to ask the other person to work on your rigid schedule. I need to treat home time as a more relaxed flex time. I need to cook, and clean, and schedule, and pay bills, and recharge. I need to juggle a bunch of stuff. The balance, and this is key, is , on the one hand, to avoid being overwhelmed and feeling like I'm working the whole time when I get home, resulting in burnout, and on the other hand, to get so relaxed and casual that I don't get anything done. I just see this as something that will have to be practiced and finessed. But it will be a huge help that in other portions of my day, I will have set myself up gloriously. By this I mean that I will have gotten enough sleep the night before, eaten two healthy, energy rich meals already, finished with annyoing necessary work, written for at least an hour and a half, and perhaps done some administrative work. So basically, once I get home, there's nothing to stress about too much, because I've already done a lot.
The "how" I talked about is like this: two things, one is that I did better, but not as well as I could have about not wasting energy on anxiety. It's just as simple as being rational about my situation, eating well, sleeping, exercising, etc. I just have to breathe, drink water, and not waste energy on anxiety. The second thing is being in my working mode less. Eva mistakes my working mode for me hating her. WHen I'm in working mode I'm serious, not joking around, not affectionate, just focused and trying to do stuff. I can't be this way around her. This is partially what's behind all the before/after coming home talk from above. I'll be in working mode before coming home, and in relaxed mode once I get home.
Another big key issue: the weekend. My momentum has gotten wrecked every single weekend so far this weekend. It's true that every single weekend, literally, there has been some huge personal thing that has happened that has taken a lot of my energy. But still, I fuck up. I have ideas about how to handle this, but I think I'm done writing for now.

Day 5

Roshashana today (I'm sure I spelled that wrong). I'll probably take tomorrow off instead of Sunday in honor of the holiday. I think I'll also be going to temple with Eva.
The writing is going well. I only have a week and half left before the deadline, but that will be plenty of time.

Day 4

Breathe deeply and drink lots of water.

Day 3

Yesterday was another day lived well, but I didn't have time to post. Eva's cousin came to visit from Israel, and we picked her up and went out to eat. I still managed to write for 1 hour and 45 minutes yesterday, despite all the excitement. Plus I didn't even feel stressed about it. Today will be another day lived well provided I write from 4-6 and just observe my basic principles throughout the rest of the day.
The importance of good diet, exercise, and sleep continue to rise in my estimation of important things. They are so key, I can't emphasize it enough. I'm starting to be able to feel the effects of individual meals. For example, I eat pretty much the same things on Mon-Fri, but this week I changed something. Before this week, I ate a hoagie for lunch. It consisted of an Amoroso roll, the necessary cheeses, LTO, light mayo, oil, salt, oregano, and sweet pepper. Although it was delicious, it's barely provided any useful calories. Starting this week I switched to falafel sandwiches. I'm making them with whole wheat pitas, falafel, a bit of feta, and a mixed vegetable salad consisting of cucumbers, tomatoes, scallions, bell peppers, and capers. This lunch actually provides me with energy, in addition to the fact that it's delicious. Since making my change, I can tangibly feel the difference in my ability to live virtuously.
I've also been resisting the pastries and calorie-bomb drinks at work. Instead I have one simple cup of coffee or cappucino in the morning, and then I drink tons of water for the rest of the day. I can feel the benefits from that as well.
I've been sleeping a minumum of 8 hours a night, if not 8 1/2 to 9. This has also been huge. I work out at work by lifting heavy stuff for 8 hours, plus I ride my bike everywhere. In general I feel energized, and when I sit down to work on something, I encounter less mental resistance. This stuff is so key.

Day 1

Hell yeah on the Philly trip Dan;
I fell off on the weekend. I fucked up. I just got a bunch of candy and screwed around on the internet. I need to eat healthy and do things that are actually worthwhile, like reading. Today I rebounded nicely though. Rode my bike to and from work, worked hard at work, wrote a letter, paid some bills, took care of paperwork, put in an hour and a half on my essay before coming home, made dinner, listened to this cd with Ravel's Sheherazade, Le Tombeau de Couperin, and Pavane Pour Une Infante Defunte, plus some Debussy tracks that I'd already heard on the second half, ate a lovely dinner with Eva, cleaned the shit out of the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom a little, attended to some minor administrative tasks, and now I'm going to read until bed time.
Yo, the Eagle's lost was gut wrenching, but I think there's more good than bad in that loss. Granted, they shot themselves in the foot, which is inexcusable, but other than the statistically unlikely number of errors that they committed at the end, they outplayed the Giants by a longshot. They were dominant on 1st string vs 1st string in the preseason, they dominated the Texans, and they dominated the Giants. I don't take all losses as equal. If they can beat the Giants, I think they can beat Dallas and Washington. Sucks about Kearse though, he was one of my favorites. I just hope they don't lose it psychologically. As a side note, I committed myself to just watching the game, quickly checking scores, and checking injury news. Anything else is forbidden. ESPN power rankings, analysis, and shit like that are like crack. It's good for nothing except wasting your life. No matter how many predictions people make, or how the Eagles are ranked, they are going to win or lose on Sunday based on their own skills, independent of the analysts.

Day 4

Planning is good--scheduling, assigning goals, etc. are all valuable practices. However, once a plan is conceived, it seems wise to put on the blinders, so to speak, to everything past, future, and tangential in the present. Don't allow these things to enter your mind. Allow your anxiety to be placated by the rational fact that the time for everything WILL come, and you will meet that moment as well prepared as you can be, so you can allow time to move at its own rate (which it will do whether you "allow" it to or not). If you suddenly remember something, or have an inspiration for something outside of your immediate task, jot it down, but soon return to the present. Stressing about time passing also falls into the category that I'm talking about. This mainly happens at work. Don't check the clock, don't worry about stuff, just relax and do what's in front of you. I think this is a good policy in general, primarily because it conserves energy and directs it usefully.
Hmm..I'm not satisfied with my attempt to articulate my thought. Oh well, I'm only willing to spend a very limited amount of time blogging now.

Day 3

It's awesome--during these last three days my volition has been as powerful as it was during my first week back in Annapolis, but it's like everything gained a new dimension. I was working in 2D before, and now I'm working in 3D. I'm kicking ass on projects, getting more shit done than ever before, PLUS, I'm spending a lot of time with Eva, eating healthy, homecooked meals, sleeping a lot, and getting sufficient breaks and rest time. This is on a new level than before.

Day 2

Doing well, writing as much as I could be. When I'm not working I've been relaxing and enjoying life, and when I am working I'm steamrolling projects like an 18 wheeler with a drunk driver driving.

Day 1

Writing. Eagles looked nice.

2 weeks ago I committed to living in accordance with a comprehensive system devised to manage my time as efficiently as possibly, systematizing all of my activities and distributing them down to the minute. The great thing was that it worked. For a week straight I was working like a demon, and more importantly, I felt like it was completely sustainable. However, despite its success in one sense, I concluded last weekend that it was not a system in accordance with good principles of living, in a general sense. Without getting into it too much, I felt like I was not properly honoring the non-work things in my life. In order to live well I believe that I must have a full and healthy private life, and only after that should I think about work. What does this mean for the blog? I've always thought that blogs were attempting to make public something that I don't necessarily want to make public, so I'm going to start making distinctions about what I'm going to write about and what I'm going to leave out. Essentially, the only things that I want to write about from now on will be relating to work, and by work I mean the things that I believe I'm meaningfully contributing to the world. This means writing. From now on you'll get updates about how the writing is going. The rest is for myself.

Day 7

I felt my energy waning, but I perservered. Good wake up, was able to handle the work at my job calmly and with a relaxed, clear mind, went to the MVA, changed my registration, license, and voting info to reflect the move, went to the parking authority and purchased my parking sticker, finished up at work, made a healthy dinner utilizing leftover in the fridge that were on the verge of going bad, studied French for 1/2 an hour, worked on Fed10 for 1/2 an hour, worked on Upright for 1/2 an hour, worked on my essay for 1/2 an hour, good getting ready for bed (dental hygiene, scheduling tomorrow, and writing the blog), and maybe I'll read Crime and Punishment for a few minutes before going to bed. Keep reading Plato and all the great books Dan!

Day 6

Remember, my "days" are a count of consecutive days living in a way that I think is excellent. Good wake-up this morning, worked at about %92 at work, browsed Le Monde for 20 minutes, sorted out my address change with a whole host of companies to whom that information is relevant, picked up a recycling bin from the city, worked on my novel for an hour (current title is Upright In The Field of Tyranny), cooked a lovely dinner, studied php and fumbled around with ssh for 1/2 an hour, studied my French, worked on my essay for 1/2 an hour, and now I'm getting ready for bed. I might get in 15 minutes of Crime and Punishment.
Two major issues were brought to my attention today. One is stress. Stressing out, or becoming anxious, is usually useless and a big waste of energy. I need to practice my Marcus Aurelius shit. Seriously. If I can just focus on what I have influence over and be stoic about everything else, then I'd have a lot more energy and thus a lot more influence. I don't want to get into this too much because I want to read. The second issue is giving each task enough time. I can allot 1 and a 1/2 hours for dinner, but I've found that to actually make something nice, plus a salad and maybe some bread, eat and have a real conversation, and clean takes at least 2 hours. Maybe I could do it in 1 and a 1/2, but I'd be rushing, and rushing usually makes me anxious, which drains energy, etc. etc. Basically, I need to experiment with tasks and determine the time that they require for completion comfortably. If I work at a reasonable pace I'll be the champion, because I'll be consistent, every day will be an excellent day, and even though I won't get as much done in one single day than I would if I were sprinting and trying to have the world all at once, I will have accomplished more at the end of the week by consistency than the alternative would after having burnt out after a day or two. I like my new approach and the outcome so far. Each day so far has been a 4 or a 5 in the old system. Yeah, if it's a "day", it's a 4 or a 5.

Day 5

Yeah, Dostoevsky is the shit. That's why I committed myself to reading all of his works. I have another 100 pages left in C&C, and then after that the only major work left of his that I haven't read yet is The Idiot. Everything else is either medium length or short story. Brother's K is incredible. Demons might edge out Brothers K for me as a personal pick, but if I had to put one of his works on the great books list, it would definitely be Brothers K. On my day.
Got up, didn't waste any time like yesterday, ate a full and nutritious breakfast, rocked work's face off, partially set up the utilities, figured out recycling for the house, wrote for an hour and a half meeting my deadline for today, read Dostoevsky for 1/2 an hour, did some grocery shopping, ate a nutritious and pleasurable dinner with the Temple radio station streaming live jazz into our kitchen from the computer, I did some stuff to help me become more effective with Fed10, I'm about to do a 1/2 hour of French, and then I'm going to go to bed on time to get my full 8 hours of sleep.

Day 4

Busy day, and hopefully the last one where I'm operating at an unsustainable output of energy. Got up, performed toilette a bit slower than necessary, ate a healthy breakfast, rocked a hard day at work, worked on my essay, filled up gas on the car, cleared up some paperwork with the landlord, did something else that I'm blanking on right now, cleaned up, made a healthy dinner, read Crime and Punishment for about 1/2 an hour, made lunch for tomorrow, and now I'm getting ready to go to bed. Tomorrow will be a more healthy day, in terms of output vs. rest, and I plan on working on the program for 1/2 an hour.

Day 3

Still going strong. I got up promptly, performed my morning toilette, ate a nutritious breakfast, got half-way set up at work, kicked ass there (work is now an intense exercise from start to finish, so I exercised in the middle of all this), came back for a nutritious lunch, did some shit with my bank account, finished up at work, went on a big grocery trip, made a nutritious dinner, bought some necessities from the corner store, did the dishes, made lunch for tomorrow, did some laundry, unpacked a little more, made a list of the stuff I still need to do, performed my nightly toilette, shot a quick e-mail to the project guys, and after writing this I'll do a bit of French and go to bed. I'm tired, and I know I'm not resting enough, but right now is crunch time and once I get past this I'll be back on a normal, healthy schedule. I'm planning to take off two days this weekend, one of those being the holiday on Monday. I should definitely finish Dostoevsky by then.
I'm entering a writing contest, and to give myself time for that I'm splitting my writing time. My looming deadlines are as follows: by Wednesday night I want to have finished brainstorming on my essay, and by September 7th I'm going to be finished restructuring my novel and ready to work on draft 2. I also want to finish this moving in shit as fast as humanly possible, without giving myself a heart attack.

Day 2

Still going strong. Today I woke up, performed my "toilette", as I think Ben Franklin refers to it, with haste, ate a healthy breakfast, packed up the rest of my stuff, drove to Maryland, while I was driving I contemplated a question in my writing project, I got to Annapolis, unloaded my stuff, went back out to Trader Joes to get some necessary house crap, drove to Target to get our house furnishings, returned, cleaned the house a bit, set up some shit, ate a healthy dinner, cleaned some more, read Dostoevsky for about 10 minutes, and now I'm getting ready to go to bed. No programming today, and maybe not tomorrow either given my current schedule. Soon though, I'll be back in at my full strength.

Day 1

It's day 1 because I think I've found that system I was telling Dan about. I've even added a psychological trick to get me to be even more efficient. Why do I think things will be different now? Because every task I did today, including writing, I did with zeal and without shrinking from the challenge. No sloppy transitions, no half-assed attempts, no day dreaming or anything. I was like Brian Dawkins getting in my work's face today. For now I'm not going to use quantitative scoring, just qualitative updates and the day count.
Sorry about not responding on the programming stuff. This week has been hectic, and if I ever have spare time, I use it for writing, as I said I would. Starting next week things should be more stable and I can get back to working on the program.
Today I ate three healthy meals, exercised good dental hygiene, practiced French for 1/2 hour, researched Parkour for 1/2 hour, exercised for 1/2 hour, wrote for an hour, helped my mom take shit to my sister's dorm room, read Crime and Punishment (my relaxation time) for about an hour and twenty minutes, and packed up stuff for my new apartment for an hour.

Like I said a while ago--if I wait too long, I restart my count at zero. Dan, I glanced at your system. It's too late for me to read it in detail, but I'll let you know what I think soon. I have a lot going on right now.
Today's score: 1
Total score: 1

I'm aiming to only go up or stay the same, at the worst. Sliding back is terrible--it basically negates time that I can never get back in my life. Today I drove Eva to Annapolis, helped her move in, went apartment hunting, possibly set up short term housing for myself, wrote a letter, drove back to Media (I'll be here until Sunday night probably), I did French, and I'll probably do a workout before going to bed.